Ah- hah!

It occurred to me yesterday sitting in Sacrament meeting, while everyone was bearing their testimonies, that I badly NEEDED to get up. But I couldn't. Nate worked a 12+ hour day yesterday for his semi-annual inventory so I was totally on my own with the kids. It required my full attention and arm span to contain Eli...so I sat there completely overwhelmed by the things I know to be true. While I've ranted a LOT on here these last few months about struggles...I really am NOT entirely pathetic. My emotions are way too close to the surface, and I'm a crybaby anyways...so I LOOK worse than I am, and I'm not entirely pathetic. I promise. Alot of my realizations have every bit as much to do with grattitude as they do with struggles. The closing song was 'Where can I turn for peace?' and I was overwhelmed with grattitude that I know that answer. The thought occured to me so many times during that hour that I was grateful for the certain things. This past year I have learned that even things we think are fairly constant, certain aspects of our life can crumble. I am not a hugely intelligent, spiritual person. But I know that there is so much strength and comfort in the one real, constant of my life. The one absolute truth. I left sacrament meeting with red, blotchy eyes again! But not becuase I was feeling pitty or sadness per say. But for knowing that all things will come full circle, and that clinging to what remains my constant source of happiness will bring me peace today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, no matter what crumbles and fails around me. I am also thankful for my husband. He is my perfect fit. And he laughs with me every night. I am so thankful for him. And in my realization of blessings yesterday it demands attention that my children are the best! I was pretty emotional for a bit yesterday and of course they thought they'd been naughty and upset me...so they wrote me cards. I laughed so hard over them. Kenna's said 'sorry for my aditude and sass. i'll be better'. Kolbe's said, 'if I've been a turd or annoying please just punish me over and over and over again until I stop!' Seriously, they are so over-dramatic! But, it worked, cause I was laughing hysterically. I love my family...and this post would be incomplete without mentioning the best friends ever! What tender mercies!