Dear Diary,

Sitting here in the quiet while Nate marched the kids up the dark, cold hill outside to shoot Kolbe's new air soft gun, I feel incredibly thankful for this day. While my emotions have been ridiculously out of control lately, I need it said that my heart is hugely full. I have never in my life felt such an overwhelming sense of blessing and happiness. I know that the Christmas season is a time where everyone feels a heightened sense of peace and happiness because the Savoir is closer to our thoughts...but I am feeling so motivated to keep this feeling a little longer in our home! So many changes are coming our way...we counted off today that its only a few days until Avery's birthday, then a month til Eli's, then a few weeks til daddy's, and then a few weeks until this baby arrives. I see the need for so much improvement in my life before I bring another child into our home...but I am happy for the small successes I see within our family. We finished the Book of Mormon yesterday as a family: a HUGE victory two years in the making! But what an accomplishment! I listened from the other room today as Kenna said to her brother, 'thank you sooooo much for this present Kolbe, I LOVE it! you're the best.' I peeked my head around the corner to watch Kolbe teaching Eli the correct way to position his new GI Joe guys for battle...the small and tender moments that make me so incredibly thankful to be just exactly where I am. The hugest deception is in thinking that life will be filled with non-stop bliss. It is filled with life: the loud, messy and chaotic routines that help us progress from one stage to another. But I was meant to be a wife....and a mother today. And I am so thankful for that.