Gram,
I'm still a bit ticked off at you. We secretly always planned that I would be back here, and that we'd waste endless days shopping and drinking diet coke(ugh, you'd have diet pepsi)...and even though it doesn't seem like an adult thing to say, I'm still feeling kinda ripped. Do you have any idea how many times I instinctively think "oh I should just call gramma quick." ? I even have called the farm jus to let it ring....don't know what I would do if someone would actually answer it. And here I am with NO ONE to drink diet coke with, or shop with...and it isn't right. Sure, I have picked up the slack on the drinking AND shopping, but it isn't the same. I just miss you desperately. I wear Clinique makeup just because it makes me remember you...I touch the shirt you were wearing the last time I saw you almost every day, as it hangs in my closet. I still remember how you forced $40 bucks in my hand that last morning....telling me to 'stuff it' when I tried to say I was fine. Mom let me look in your purse the other day...I loved it. Its just as you left it....which made me smile. Except it must have been time for a trip to the ATM because you have minimal cash. Which is really unlike you, considering how many hands were constantly outstretched! Maybe you'd just been hit by the grandkids... I miss having someone to back me up no matter what my stance was. You never cared...you just fought with me! Man I miss you.
I know that the only reason that I can even survive you bailing out on me early is because we're gonna make up for it one day. I can't wait to see you again. I like to think that you are near me often...I hope its true. But I KNOW the first part is. Its just another reason I'm excited for Easter.
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