I have been missing my grandma something fierce lately. I just miss having someone ALWAYS on my side. I hate that feeling of sadness that inevitabley always comes when I think about calling her to come and waste the day with me...and realizing I'm on my own. It remains the cruelest of ironies to me: I finally got to move home with my monkies and she's not here!
While my emotions have been entirely out of whack(I know understand the comment adoptive moms make about being 'paper-pregnant') lately, it's definitely times like now that I miss her most. She would be beside me, helping me get ready to go...and chugging my now caffeine free beverage with me until I felt at least a little emboldened. I MISS YOU GRANDMA!
There is a picture of you on my dresser...gotta have it there to say hello to morning and night. I have the sweatshirt you wore the last day I saw you hanging in my closet...and just the other day I sank my face into it praying for a glimpse of your scent! Those things are gone now. And that's really sad to me. But, I am entirely aware that you're watching me, and recognzing when I need my bestest friend in the most. Just this morning I was bossing Landri Lu around...trying to encourage some movement contrary to what she was offering and she all of a sudden spun around and headed in the right direction and said, "lets go! Chop Chop!" And in the smallest of things I felt you....
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