Comes with a WARNING!!!!!

CAUTION!!!!! This, (i.e. Eli napping) only occurs when preceeded by vomit and/or diarhea.

But, as an optismist, I see some silver lining...at least it 'happens'! Apparently we don't have enough cooties at our house, so its time for another round....

Monkey baby

I think one of the things I will miss the most when Landri grows is her 'ooo ooo' noise and face. Anyone who's been around her knows what I am talking about. So, I caught in her in the act, for memories...

Piggie Points

 This is what I found today: Avery's above, Kenna's below. Think they knew their luck wouldn't hold two days in a row.

So, in an effort to motivate my girls to keep their rooms cleaner I've started "awarding" piggie points. These are NOT redeemable for anything fun: usually the acknowledgement of piggie points comes with an assignment of extra work. And that has worked pretty well....until recently! I don't know what the problem is, but my girls are pigs! Such.....GIRLS! Their floors are littered....and with Kenna, this isn't just a good word. I mean, LITTERED. She dumps out her backpack on the floor. Because she's a smarty pants she usually has some form of sugar contraband, which translates to wrappers. Add that to the excess of pony tails and barrets from her Christmas caboodle....and her recent hobby of drawing...and its disgusting. The boys do get off easy: I know this. Their rooms are 3 levels below me,  sort of 'out of sign of mind'. So, they don't take near the ribbing from me. I'll work on it. But I expect the girls' beds made and rooms tidied every morning before school. As proof my girls are very different, the principle of piggie points wasn't really pulling equal weight with both of them. So, I adjusted my tactics.

Kenna LOVES the idea of having her own room. Avery HATES the idea of having to share, if Kenna has her own. So, last week I told Kenna if she received 3 piggie points in a month, I'd be putting the bunk beds back up and she'd have a roommate again. Might as well confine the hazard to one room don't you think? For Avery, the thought of sharing with Kenna is ticklesome....(is that a word?) Kenna seems bothered to have Avery around sometimes...which Avery thinks is great. She loves to just casually touch her as she walks by...just to watch Ken squirm. So, obviously this piggie point system isn't gonna motivate a change in the right direction for her. So....the only thing a mom can do? Tv. It seems to be the pulse of this little couch potato. If her room is a mess when she leaves for school, no tv. About ten minutes before they leave I ask them how their rooms are. Yesterday I was in for a treat:

Kenna's had her jammies on the floor, and her bed unmade....So, by previous standards, not bad. Avery informed me that she 'just loves little towel chairs." What???? "You know how you can just squish a towel in the corner? It becomes a cute little chair. I love it!" Ding. Ding. Ding. The red flag went off in my head. Okay....see you later then. As I went about my morning I peeked into their rooms. Both obviously failed. This is 3 piggie points for Kenna. And no tv for Avery. Don't know which will prove more tramautizing....

When they got home I said "Kenna, I'm afraid you have earned another piggie point." She looked panic stricken...and bolted upstairs. A minute later she popped her head out with a kind of pleading, please-fall-for-this-face. "Mom, the reason my bed isn't made is because I was giving my American girl a sleepover. Didn't you notice her all tucked in?" Seriously, about died laughing. And...to prove I'm either an inconsistent or well-humored mom(you choose) it worked. I forgave the piggie point and she made her bed.

Avery had the priviledge of showing me her couch chair. I'd already looked, I just thought she should show me. It was about 18 inches high...a little tall for a towel right? Well, apparently 4 pairs of pants, 2 jammies, several underpants and a bathrobe HUGELY add to the optimal comfort of a towel chair. For asthetics though you must cover them entirely so just the towel shows. NO....this isn't what a mom would formally consider 'stuffing'.

Because, as previously stated, I'm either very inconsistent and a pushover...or, I value the creativity of naughty girls...both girls earned piggie points that were negated by some quick thinking! Love 'em!!!

Eli Chronicles...

I should just rename this blog. Because its pretty much just that...the tale of Eli.  Maybe my other kids are boring, you think?They're not....in fact far from it. They all ooze personality. It just seems that Eli is the one that warrants the most attention....attention of all kinds! :)

Tonight my mom was taking Eli on a sleepover to her house. Whenever my dad is gone, which is every other week, my kids fight for who's turn it is at grandmas. And, usually Eli tags along with whoever's turn it is because he's Eli, and my mom can't tell him 'no' when he begs. As it turns out, tonight belonged to Avery and Kenna...but they were deeply involved in a tv show and decided it would be worth forfeiting their sleepover. Hhhheeeeellllllooooo! My mom has the SAME cable as us. But oh well...their loss! And Eli was oh-so thrilled to take their place....all by himself.

My uncles still have some dogs that live at my grandma's farm. She's been dead an awful 6 years now...so the boys and my mother take turns going up there daily and feeding the pack of mangie muts! Yuck.(I've never liked these dogs....)On the way home from the farm mom told Eli maybe they'd go visit my uncle Tom. Eli squished his face up....and looked at mom suspiciously. "Is HE fat?" Mom chuckled, surprised. "No. Why?" Eli then explained that my dad had taken him to visit some 'fat' man with a dog one day when he was watching him. The dog's name is Bozo. Mom asked if Eli liked this man...he said no. Mom was trying to figure out who papa's fat friend is by a little game of 20 questions...so she asked about his wife...Eli told her, "Act-shoo-lee....I think she's dead."

A little while later my mom decides to play a little more with the fat friend tale...and asked Eli why he didn't like this man.
Eli: Because...he's fat!
Mom:(pretending to be wounded)Well....I'm fat.
Eli instantly knew what he'd done and recovered perfectly.
Eli: Ohhhhhhhhh......I LOVE fat girls!

Every day with this boy is a reminder that Heavenly Father has an incredible sense of humor. Its apparent in the things he does...and says...good and bad.

At least his dad is the skinny one. And....at least he loves fat girls....cause this one loves him to pieces!

Ah-hah!

It has been a really long two weeks! Thankfully I got the worst of it, by far....because with as miserable as I've felt I can't imagine trying to console sick babies with this! I'm still coughing so much that my chest/throat burn...and I'm stuffed up. But the worst is hopefully behind me...I had fever, chills and the aches, sore throat, cough and pink eye, fever blisters....basically, I'm looking good!

My parents have been supplying me with different kinds of cold medication to try and they were here late SAturday night with the newest brand for me to try. They'd come from MIssoula that day and while talking to mom on the phone, she mentioned driving by the "Montana Canabis" store...*medical marajuana* and asked if I wanted some :) I said sure...though I had some concerns what it would do for my diet.

There have been a couple confirmed swine flu cases at the school....in my children's classes. When mom came that night to drop off my medicine(no, not marajuana...I value my temple reccommend!) she said, "I think you have a case of H1N1...the real deal."

And there it was...I replied, "Well, at least THAT would explain my pot belly."

My take on it...

You've probably heard of 'little house of horrors'? Well....in a very related kind of way...we are the 'little house of horrors' this week! Seriously, we have some sick stuff happening here!

Poor Eli started on Friday night...about seven, getting incredibly onery and fussy. By ten he was burning a fever and totally dillusional. He would cry "I want my momma" and when I'd try to reassure him I was right here he'd say, "no!!!! my REAL momma!" He asked over and over again where we were and if we could go home...all night long, where's my momma? where's my momma? He stared screaming with ear pain and by morning his ear had nasty stuff oozing out. The doc thinks it may have ruptured, and he's got a double ear infection. Much better now with the help of some high powered antibiotics that our insurance company didn't pay for! Don't worry, I'm plenty cranky still, it didn't wear off, and I'll be calling them first thing tomorrow morning!

Poor Landri! She has had this dang cold now for who knows how long! I asked the dr to examine her yesterday but because I hadn't checked her in officially, she did a quick look at the ears and said she was fine. Well, today her eyes, which have been puffy and watery for weeks, are crusty. Both ears are seriously oozing. And her nose is a disaster. She's so miserable...poor thing. I finally got a hold of said dr who authorized me to give her some of Eli's meds and she'll have her own, shiney $80 bottle tomorrow. Dang insurance better be over its little glitch baby.

And then there's me. I've had a toothache all week. The kind that flattens ya. Now my ear hurts, and I've had the chills today, as well as the most delightful outbreak of fever blisters on my mouth.

I think we're looking remarkable. Very photo-op ready.

Here's to hoping that the next week brings LOTS of sunshine to shoooo cootie season out the door!

I hear birds....

Aside from the fact that I think I may have passed out last night from exhaustion(and pain pills) and enjoyed 3 full hours of sleep...before being up all night

or...the fact that Landri is miserable and fussy and hacking and green nosed...

or...even the fact that my children are arguing as we speak about which episode of 'Suite Life on Deck' to watch....

I notice a HUGE improvement in my spirits today! Why? Because the snow has been replaced with huge, sloppy piles of mluck. But...that is progress. The sky is blue and this morning, I heard birds. 

So I am celebrating by cleaning the cars out! And then I am gonna trim out the closets in the family room and paint them...so I can check one room off my list! Its ridiculous how my motivation seems to have come back with the birds....

What the WHAT?

CAUTION: Parental discretion is advised!

One of my favorite slurs is 'What the hell?' I warned you! Of course, this is entirely off limits for the kids. Its my little sanctuary of sin. One of them anyways. The older children never tried to use it...but Eli has recently decided he likes it. Surprised? Well, I told him in the best motherly-example like voice I could, "Only mommy can say that. It isn' nice."

Judgers stop reading. I figure I'm scarring my sweet children in better ways that this.

So, Eli said, "Can I say 'what the what?' Definitely.

So...in honor of today... what the WHAT???

See, today is my baby's birthday. The last baby I get. The last day of having baby is officially gone from me. And I'm in mourning...My purpose here is to have babies. I'm good at it. I'm great at snuggles, diapers, kisses and I make pretty dang good milk(as obvious by my chubbo babies). There is NOTHING that makes me feel more of divine worth than motherhood. But as you can see by the start of this post I tend to flub it up a bit as they age. I'm in my stride when they're babies...

So, HOW did this happen?

Miss Landri Hope entered our family very quickly! The doctor doubted my tales of fast and furious labor. But, my water broke at 10:16. am and I had to bury my head in Nate's shoulder and cry, trying to WAIT for the doc to arrive. At 10:33 she was here...and my heart was again captured. Every child has a family name for their middle name. We couldn't find the right one for her...so, we agreed on Hope...as the symbol of what our family needed so desperately at the time of her birth. Its been a tough few years...and nothing speaks of hope like a pure, beautiful baby straight from God's arms...And as I sat thinking last night about some current struggles...it occurred to me that Landri has provided me such hope, and such JOY! What would I do without her? Her cute, scrunchy nose? Bright sparkley blue eyes? and of coursse her funny "ooooooh" face. She melts me, and I'm not alone here. Dubbed "laundry soap" by her onery sister Kenna...Laundry Soap aka Landri Hope is a crowd favorite! She has made friends with so many people at church...she loves her grandma neicy and her papa, she teases Jerry...she is a daddy's girl, diving for his arms the moment he comes home. Her 2 brothers and 2 sisters dote on her, and each has a special role/relationship with her. The best part of parenthood truly is watching your children love each other.

So, what the what? I guess if the next year is filled with an equal measure of hope and happiness from this sweet child, bring it on! Happy birthday my sweet baby. How much I love you...

Arrow of light

For the record, we are not scouters. We will always make our boys go faithfully, because its church advocated. But I don't love it, and Nate doesn't love it. So the progression of Kolbe has been entirely to the thanks of the most fabulous leaders. In Great Falls, where Kolbe earned his wolf, bobcat and bear, his leaders did not get much appreciation from Kolbe. He was down-right onery about attendance, which thrilled Nate and I to consider long arguements over this until he was 18~we are very thankful for fab leaders though! Then we moved to Fairfield.
Nate and I prayed very hard about this decision. And we had an undeniable feeling that this is what should happen for our family. Things fell into place so smoothly...and then we moved. And from that moment its been NOTHING of smooth. In fact, I am often daily looking for some goodness in moving here. I assumed it would be easier, smooth sailing, because we'd made it a matter of prayer. Not so! BUT...I can say one sure blessing has been Kolbe's scouting. I think the blessing is entirely in the form of Bro. Doug Deaton. This man is amazing! Can't say it enough. Something flipped a switch in my son...and he now is an avid scouter! He LOVES it...and Doug! While we've thanked him many times, I can't think its sufficient...Doug made Kolbe his Troup Leader, and pays him extra dues...such a blessing.

Kolbe had the most amazing experience with his Arrow of Light. He earned this in Great Falls, but we didn't get it presented because of the move, and well...it just got delayed. The hugest thank you to all of his scouting leaders...we're worthless here, but feel its hugely important for Kolbe...so thank you!(and when this stupid blog lets me put a pic up...I will!)

Pets, afterall...

The whole family seems to be on board the idea of having pets except for me. Thank heavens my opinion counts for everything here. But Nate and I were watching Avery and Eli today....he was peeking around the chair at her while she played and then he'd reach out and grab her toy or poke her and she'd jump up and chase him a lap or two around the table and then sit back down for it to replay itself a few minutes later. My funny husband commented, "they're just like a dog and cat." And all of a sudden I realized he was right! And I'm so relieved....we own a dog and a cat and my poop duty won't be increasing. :)

With my help Eli has been counting down to Landri's first birthday for almost a month now. Its tender! He picked out a present at Walmart for her on his own several weeks ago and is dying to give it to her. Every day he "practices" saying Happy Birthday to her! This morning he said, "mom, only two more days until your baby is one. Then you don't have any more babies, just kids!" (this is a fact that truly breaks my heart. I could have had a thousand babies...I just love babies. Everything about them. But realistically I know we had to draw the line somewhere, and for my husband, five was that line.)

After a minute Eli then added, "mom, please please have another baby! Just one more baby!" I not-so-secretly wish it were in the cards for us. But its not. And I'm also not-so-secretly over the moon with the five I've got. They are proof every day of a loving, tender and merciful Father in Heaven who knew me so perfectly that he matched me with 5 strong, intelligent, independent, charismatic, stubborn little spifits who bless my life incredibly!

Kolbe had a big week. Its one of those weeks where you stand back and just watch your child grow up. On Wednesday night he got his arrow of light award for scouting. This was about a year late, but we moved right when he should have got it and then just never got around to it. But I was so thankful it worked out this way! It was AMAZINGLY cool...a fun ceremony that held every child's attention for over 40 minutes. Pics to come...Kolbe was hugely impressed. Then last night Nate and Kolbe packed up for the winter campout with the scouts. I don't know who had more fun...but it was fun to have them come home and tell stories. 3 more months til my oldest is 12!!! Nuts. I tell this kid all the time there are big plans for him...and that there is a reason he got to come into our family, leading the way for the other kids. I'm so thankful he's mine...

Randomness...

It occurred to me that each and every time I'm having a "day", it only gets worse. Call is kharma, chemistry or just the way it rolls...about once a month(go figure :) I just wake up and I'm outta sync...grumpy without a cause...fiery just cause I am. And even knowing this, I can't seem to bridle it in. That was my today. I managed to get the kids off to school pretty pleasantly, dropped Eli off at preschool and started for work. And somewhere in my 30 minute commute, about mile 12, I decided that something the night before had really urked me! And...thus proceeded the fall of my day!

I had an okay day at work, given the fact that my sweet cuteness has decided to boycott the workplace whole-heartedly. She is NEVER fussy...until she walks through the doors of my office. And then its miserable! She likes to sit on my lap, which is fine if she sits...but the moment she tries to help, she's banished to the floor! And then...wowza! So today was a particularily enjoyable day. And since I'd already joined the 'raunchy r us' party...I was starting to throw myself a bit of a party...a pity party!

I lasted 5 hours and then had to hit Walmart...at this point I'd already dumped my whole crappiness of a day- events on my BFF who just giggled at my insanity. I HATE Walmart...which in itself did nothing for my state of being. It took me an hour AND cost me double what I thought I'd spend...again...not helping. When I got to the til and waited in the ridiculous line I started to smell the worst smell....only to discover Landri was having some issues.

Ever change a baby diaper in the back trunk of your car? When its cold? When your wet wipes are frozen? And...she has her first bout of diarhea? DELIGHTFUL!!!!

I'm not sure if I can give credit to her tummy issues to the fact that I snuck away for a girls' lunch last week at McDonalds and Landri managed to make an attempt to lick every surface she could find...walls, toys, and even the seats. Yum. Or, it might be the milk that I've introduced to her diet. Either way, she is miserable tonight. Since 2 o'clock the diaper count is 5....That's like 3x the allowable amount. She's incredibly fussy, which isn't her norm, so I know she's not feeling well. I've gathered that from the last two nights of no sleep.

I discovered that Avery had scrawled 'I hate my mom!' on a blow up toy of the minion on "Despicable Me" after supper. Probably after one of hte many times I told her that she forfeited free time(tv time) after school for living like a piggly wiggly.

Both boys earned consequences tonight from dad. Its part of our new system...agree to consequences before hand then die by the sword....(I'm really hoping that within a week the kids realize that the expectation to obey is far easier than being in trouble) Seriously....have to try not to giggle at the drama....

As I was cleaning up supper and thinking about the day...and how bad it sTunK....it occurred to me that whenever I have a 'day' I am destined for a complete disaster. Because I am such a drama queen! Gotta have me a good old fashioned fit! I'd like to say that this revelation will do me some good, but I know realistically that next month, about this time, I'll be feeling pretty much the same.

I hate predictability.