I am not a big 'faster'....obviously. Anyone who looks at the chubby girl can figure out that one. But it wasn't even HARD this time. I felt like I could have kept going forever! Its amazing what finding a little focus can do...
I had a little trouble with my emotions again during Sacrament meeting today. I could litterally feel such a surge of comfort...and while I am still sad and scared for the unknown...I have to publicly thank all of my friends and family who joined us in a special fast today to bring our daughter, and our friends' children, HOME.
Just as a sidenote: next Sunday is fast Sunday. Should you find yourself fasting, again...would it be terribly difficult to add us to your list again???
There is such strength in numbers.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Nooo...don't be mad....its my fault....
This is what I told Nate last night, when I walked into the upstairs bathroom after hearing he was obviously unhappy. Because I seriously giggled when I saw it. And I wouldn't have normally.....
A little background: I was doing my Saturday scrub down of the bathrooms kinda late last night. Lu came in and was telling me she needed to go potty...while I was litterally trying to scrub the nasty off Kolbe's toilet. So I kicked her out...for her own safety in part. Told her to go upstairs if she really needed to. So I went about my scrubbing, kind of enjoying the smell of my favorite 'Gain' purple bottle cleanser...I had just finished his throne when I heard Kenna screach upstairs and then, shortly after, Nate shreaked similarily.
I came booking up the stairs to discover that Landri had gone upstairs to the bathroom. Only, Kenna was using it. So, having already been kicked out of the bathroom downstairs she simply did what a girl could do: pulled down her pants and pooped on the carpet right at Kenna's feet.
Lu apologized to me...but gave me that 'I toldya so' kinda face. Yep. She did.
So, today in sacrament when she announced that she needed to go potty I opted against calling her bluff.
A little background: I was doing my Saturday scrub down of the bathrooms kinda late last night. Lu came in and was telling me she needed to go potty...while I was litterally trying to scrub the nasty off Kolbe's toilet. So I kicked her out...for her own safety in part. Told her to go upstairs if she really needed to. So I went about my scrubbing, kind of enjoying the smell of my favorite 'Gain' purple bottle cleanser...I had just finished his throne when I heard Kenna screach upstairs and then, shortly after, Nate shreaked similarily.
I came booking up the stairs to discover that Landri had gone upstairs to the bathroom. Only, Kenna was using it. So, having already been kicked out of the bathroom downstairs she simply did what a girl could do: pulled down her pants and pooped on the carpet right at Kenna's feet.
Lu apologized to me...but gave me that 'I toldya so' kinda face. Yep. She did.
So, today in sacrament when she announced that she needed to go potty I opted against calling her bluff.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
A bit of a ride...
This has been one very long....very long week. I'd been hearing ripples about the possiblity that our daughter's birth country would impose a ban on adoption. I naively thought...puhhhh, we're only a few months out. That will effect other people. Not us.
I kind of avoid certain streams on facebook because 'too' much information proves to scare the pants off me. So I do what I do best and avoid. But there is absolutely no avoiding what happened yesterday. Thursday afternoon one of my long-time buds from highschool texted me, apologizing for what he'd seen on the news...'that I was in his prayers'. A couple quick texts back in forth prompted the reality: R was moving fast on this bill. And my previous denial that this wouldn't affect us was dead wrong. I went to bed early that night, feeling a bit anxious about what was to come. Friday morning I followed Nate downstairs when he woke up. I NEVER DO THIS. For one, its fetching cold! We heat the house with our fireplace and it doesn't quite stretch all night so by morning its down right frigid. So, he's on his own to get breakfast and stoke the fire for the rest of us! For two, its morning. I hate mornings. But, I just had the feeling I should get moving. I pulled out the laptop and sat down to find the big, ugly red headlines: adoption ban signed. I sat and stared at first...kinda thinking my eyes were gunkier than they really were. Did I read that right? No. I must have looked a little horrified because Nate joined me on the couch and within seconds we were both crying. Friday, December 28, 2012 will unfortunately be marked in my mind as one of the most difficult days of my life. I probably said 10 sentences in total...most of them were, 'tell them I'm not talking today' or 'please, leave this be for today'. Even as I write this journal entry I can feel the wedge moving farther north up my throat.
I am a very emotional person. I didn't say I'm a drama queen...I'm not. But when I'm happy, its obvious. And when my heart has been ripped out, its fairly obvious as well. And I can only say that the news that our adoption has been 'banned' is pretty much devastating.
While I did cry for the better part of yesterday(and some of today) I am not hopeless.
The thought came to me yesterday morning about the story of Lazarus in the Bible. I love this story! I was thinking thru the events of this story. Jesus was off ministering in a distant city when he received he news that his FRIEND was dying. Yet still, he lingered. By the time he got there, Lazarus was dead. His sisters met Jesus and were of course mourning their brother's death. They said something to the effect of 'if thou hadst been here, our brother would not have died.' And the scriptures record that Jesus wept....which is not a common occurance. Then we all know what happened...the Savior raised Lazarus from the dead. However...what is learned there? Had Jesus come, right when he was called, he could have saved Lazarus from dying all together. But he didn't, because even though it allowed heartache in his friends' lives...it provided him the opportunity to glorify God, and prove his power over death; something we may have doubted.
How does this apply, you wonder?
Well....right after playing this story out in my mind...the thought came gently to my very...very...wounded heart: If the door is not officially 'closed'....I might doubt by whose hand it is opened.
My ex-bishop and dear friend called me tonight to check on me, knowing I've had a rough few days. He asked how I was...and inevitabley I choked up a bit. And when I told him we'd press on, do what we could...until there was nothing left we could and then I'd just have to work on accepting things....he said something to the effect of 'well that is the easier thing to say than really do'. And he's right. This is hard. REALLY hard.
This process has been nothing short of a test of my faith from day one. But, He led us here. He placed sweet girl in our life. He allowed us the opportunity to fall in love with her. So...I will trust in Him. I will acknowledge there is no guarantee. I will promise many days of FAITH. Many others of tears. I have no idea what I'm in for.
And it scares me.
However, I'm in for a ride. Along the way my heart has been buoyed by friends, quiet moments of comfort...and my dear husband and precious children.
Thank heavens this life is short! I'm counting on eternity.
Please continue to pray for our family....and those of our friends...also enduring the same sadness right now. These children are precious in God's sight....and in my belief, some of His choicest spirits. They deserve a family, and love. So, I'll wage my war. I'll do whatever I can. And then...I'll work to accept God's will. Please pray.
I kind of avoid certain streams on facebook because 'too' much information proves to scare the pants off me. So I do what I do best and avoid. But there is absolutely no avoiding what happened yesterday. Thursday afternoon one of my long-time buds from highschool texted me, apologizing for what he'd seen on the news...'that I was in his prayers'. A couple quick texts back in forth prompted the reality: R was moving fast on this bill. And my previous denial that this wouldn't affect us was dead wrong. I went to bed early that night, feeling a bit anxious about what was to come. Friday morning I followed Nate downstairs when he woke up. I NEVER DO THIS. For one, its fetching cold! We heat the house with our fireplace and it doesn't quite stretch all night so by morning its down right frigid. So, he's on his own to get breakfast and stoke the fire for the rest of us! For two, its morning. I hate mornings. But, I just had the feeling I should get moving. I pulled out the laptop and sat down to find the big, ugly red headlines: adoption ban signed. I sat and stared at first...kinda thinking my eyes were gunkier than they really were. Did I read that right? No. I must have looked a little horrified because Nate joined me on the couch and within seconds we were both crying. Friday, December 28, 2012 will unfortunately be marked in my mind as one of the most difficult days of my life. I probably said 10 sentences in total...most of them were, 'tell them I'm not talking today' or 'please, leave this be for today'. Even as I write this journal entry I can feel the wedge moving farther north up my throat.
I am a very emotional person. I didn't say I'm a drama queen...I'm not. But when I'm happy, its obvious. And when my heart has been ripped out, its fairly obvious as well. And I can only say that the news that our adoption has been 'banned' is pretty much devastating.
While I did cry for the better part of yesterday(and some of today) I am not hopeless.
The thought came to me yesterday morning about the story of Lazarus in the Bible. I love this story! I was thinking thru the events of this story. Jesus was off ministering in a distant city when he received he news that his FRIEND was dying. Yet still, he lingered. By the time he got there, Lazarus was dead. His sisters met Jesus and were of course mourning their brother's death. They said something to the effect of 'if thou hadst been here, our brother would not have died.' And the scriptures record that Jesus wept....which is not a common occurance. Then we all know what happened...the Savior raised Lazarus from the dead. However...what is learned there? Had Jesus come, right when he was called, he could have saved Lazarus from dying all together. But he didn't, because even though it allowed heartache in his friends' lives...it provided him the opportunity to glorify God, and prove his power over death; something we may have doubted.
How does this apply, you wonder?
Well....right after playing this story out in my mind...the thought came gently to my very...very...wounded heart: If the door is not officially 'closed'....I might doubt by whose hand it is opened.
My ex-bishop and dear friend called me tonight to check on me, knowing I've had a rough few days. He asked how I was...and inevitabley I choked up a bit. And when I told him we'd press on, do what we could...until there was nothing left we could and then I'd just have to work on accepting things....he said something to the effect of 'well that is the easier thing to say than really do'. And he's right. This is hard. REALLY hard.
This process has been nothing short of a test of my faith from day one. But, He led us here. He placed sweet girl in our life. He allowed us the opportunity to fall in love with her. So...I will trust in Him. I will acknowledge there is no guarantee. I will promise many days of FAITH. Many others of tears. I have no idea what I'm in for.
And it scares me.
However, I'm in for a ride. Along the way my heart has been buoyed by friends, quiet moments of comfort...and my dear husband and precious children.
Thank heavens this life is short! I'm counting on eternity.
Please continue to pray for our family....and those of our friends...also enduring the same sadness right now. These children are precious in God's sight....and in my belief, some of His choicest spirits. They deserve a family, and love. So, I'll wage my war. I'll do whatever I can. And then...I'll work to accept God's will. Please pray.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
sort of stuck....
Today has been entirely discouraging. Whatever ability I had yesterday to refocus my thoughts has entirely evaded me today. I'm beyond sad today. Can't even talk. Which, is alot for me.
I think tonight I will tuck myself in to bed early...
Today our chest x-rays got here. They are required for the court process. What do I do? Do I continue tracking down the necessary documents so that when this man comes to his senses I'll be ready? How much money do I sink into this? I'm already so far gone...but I don't even care. I don't care how much money I've spent. All I know is I'm still about $6-8k short of having the funds needed to bring her home.
But...there's the chance she's not coming. A VERY good chance. And tonight I'm struggling to accept this.
I think tonight I will tuck myself in to bed early...
Today our chest x-rays got here. They are required for the court process. What do I do? Do I continue tracking down the necessary documents so that when this man comes to his senses I'll be ready? How much money do I sink into this? I'm already so far gone...but I don't even care. I don't care how much money I've spent. All I know is I'm still about $6-8k short of having the funds needed to bring her home.
But...there's the chance she's not coming. A VERY good chance. And tonight I'm struggling to accept this.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I am His....
With today's news about the possible ban on our adoption...I'm SICK. And I won't lie and say my faith has been perfect. I have cried several times today. Not for myself though. For her. For the little girl who awaits us. Her family.
I can honestly attest though, that on several occasions today, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace...
Have you ever felt the Holy Ghost? It is almost like a warmth, a shiver. For me it is unmistakeable. I know this feeling for it has been present at so many of my life's crucial moments, and at so many moments when I knew infinitely who's Spirit it was.
So...while I am 100% certain of only one thing: that there is no guarantee this adoption will end in our favour....of one thing I am. I am His. And I am forever grateful for this knowledge, as well as the reminders that come when I need them most.
He knows my name. So, if YOU know my name, please, please, join our family this Sunday Dec. 30th and pray and fast that hearts will be softened. Mention us by NAME in your prayers. It would be an unforgotten gift.
I can honestly attest though, that on several occasions today, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace...
Have you ever felt the Holy Ghost? It is almost like a warmth, a shiver. For me it is unmistakeable. I know this feeling for it has been present at so many of my life's crucial moments, and at so many moments when I knew infinitely who's Spirit it was.
So...while I am 100% certain of only one thing: that there is no guarantee this adoption will end in our favour....of one thing I am. I am His. And I am forever grateful for this knowledge, as well as the reminders that come when I need them most.
He knows my name. So, if YOU know my name, please, please, join our family this Sunday Dec. 30th and pray and fast that hearts will be softened. Mention us by NAME in your prayers. It would be an unforgotten gift.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
When nothing else will do...
Pray.
Its becoming the mantra of my life. I am not one to drop down to my knees often. But I am sure that He never grows tired of the near constant conversation of my heart...
I know my God hears me. I know that He HEARS me. He has allowed heartache and trial. And He has provided growth and blessings. Peace. Hope. He is good and all knowing, and merciful. And true.
So with the recent news that our daughter's birth country has proposed a law banning our and every other adoption from proceeding....my heart is sick. But...There is no room for fear when I acknowledge that He laid this course in front of us. If my life has been proof of anything this last year, its that simply because something is right doesn't mean it will be easy. So...I will continue to live one day at a time....and pushing fear from my heart, replacing it with faith. And prayer.
We would simply ask that you join us in this effort. Not only selfishly for our daughter. But for all the other orphans there who are unwanted...unloved...and DESERVE a family. Pray. Pray their leaders will have their hearts softened toward this purpose.
Its becoming the mantra of my life. I am not one to drop down to my knees often. But I am sure that He never grows tired of the near constant conversation of my heart...
I know my God hears me. I know that He HEARS me. He has allowed heartache and trial. And He has provided growth and blessings. Peace. Hope. He is good and all knowing, and merciful. And true.
So with the recent news that our daughter's birth country has proposed a law banning our and every other adoption from proceeding....my heart is sick. But...There is no room for fear when I acknowledge that He laid this course in front of us. If my life has been proof of anything this last year, its that simply because something is right doesn't mean it will be easy. So...I will continue to live one day at a time....and pushing fear from my heart, replacing it with faith. And prayer.
We would simply ask that you join us in this effort. Not only selfishly for our daughter. But for all the other orphans there who are unwanted...unloved...and DESERVE a family. Pray. Pray their leaders will have their hearts softened toward this purpose.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Perspective
Okay...
I pray every single day that I'll see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. And I credit this miracle to the fact that I'm not a raging crazy person who's flat raunchy to live with.
Because the trials, which are, in and of themselves, small and not too overwhelming...continue to pile on. But...this week I have this overwhelming sense of peace...almost giddy excitement...at what my future holds, because I SEE His hand in my life.
There is so much happiness in just acknowledging that no matter how many the bumps...the blessings outweigh them. For example:
I must first say that I adore my husband. He is frustratingly un-romantic. He stinks at buying gifts. His basketball shoes make my closet smell like gag-worthy death. He weighs less than I do. Always has, and likely, always will. He hates casseroles. He would happily invite 15 12-18 year old boys with us on every.single.date. we ever go on...just cause he loves them. He has weird taste in music and is a terrible dancer(in fairness, so am I).
And...he comes home to me every.single.night. He heads straight for me...and even if its not a movie-worthy romantic moment...I get a kiss. Then, watch out kids! He hasn't figured out, or doesn't care, that our 13 1/2 son doesn't really want kisses "Nate-style" anymore. There isn't anything he'd rather do than be here with us. He likes to play hoops to stay and shape, and run off a bad day. He would do anything for his Young Men, and melts when given the chance. He works hard to provide what we need, and a little of what we want.
I am a blessed woman.
For the last several years we've had particular struggle that has been kinda tough. And we've prayed this one out: ALOT.
My patience, like my dance skills, are sort of lacking. Its not entirely my fault. While some of you other people got in line for things like 'patience' and 'will-power', I kept getting jumped to the front of the baby-line(this is one of my favorite 'lies' to my kids)......so I may have missed a few important virtues....whatever.
Anyways...I have been kind of struggling to weather this out lately. And just like that: I now see my Heavenly Father's hand in this struggle. I even understand the timing. And the blessing that waiting has been.
And I am intirely grateful it has happened just like it has: Not my will, but Thine....
I pray every single day that I'll see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. And I credit this miracle to the fact that I'm not a raging crazy person who's flat raunchy to live with.
Because the trials, which are, in and of themselves, small and not too overwhelming...continue to pile on. But...this week I have this overwhelming sense of peace...almost giddy excitement...at what my future holds, because I SEE His hand in my life.
There is so much happiness in just acknowledging that no matter how many the bumps...the blessings outweigh them. For example:
I must first say that I adore my husband. He is frustratingly un-romantic. He stinks at buying gifts. His basketball shoes make my closet smell like gag-worthy death. He weighs less than I do. Always has, and likely, always will. He hates casseroles. He would happily invite 15 12-18 year old boys with us on every.single.date. we ever go on...just cause he loves them. He has weird taste in music and is a terrible dancer(in fairness, so am I).
And...he comes home to me every.single.night. He heads straight for me...and even if its not a movie-worthy romantic moment...I get a kiss. Then, watch out kids! He hasn't figured out, or doesn't care, that our 13 1/2 son doesn't really want kisses "Nate-style" anymore. There isn't anything he'd rather do than be here with us. He likes to play hoops to stay and shape, and run off a bad day. He would do anything for his Young Men, and melts when given the chance. He works hard to provide what we need, and a little of what we want.
I am a blessed woman.
For the last several years we've had particular struggle that has been kinda tough. And we've prayed this one out: ALOT.
My patience, like my dance skills, are sort of lacking. Its not entirely my fault. While some of you other people got in line for things like 'patience' and 'will-power', I kept getting jumped to the front of the baby-line(this is one of my favorite 'lies' to my kids)......so I may have missed a few important virtues....whatever.
Anyways...I have been kind of struggling to weather this out lately. And just like that: I now see my Heavenly Father's hand in this struggle. I even understand the timing. And the blessing that waiting has been.
And I am intirely grateful it has happened just like it has: Not my will, but Thine....
Friday, November 30, 2012
Transparency
Would you really want to live in a world where everyone saw your every single thought? Knew your motive for every act? Heard your mumbling? Your snide comments?
I wouldn't!!!!
Sure, it would hold that perhaps if I didn't want those things made known I shouldn't be thinking/doing/saying them. But I'm human. And while I generally try to behave in a way that compliments what I believe, sometimes I fail. Badly.
As such, I would NOT want to be privy to those same weaknesses of others. Its bad enough that my family and a few select :) friends are subject to knowing some of my, ummmm....less than favorable thoughts/sayings and actions. And I'm entirely thankful they've been true to me, and loved me through my faults...laughed off my obviously awful traits...and resisted the urge to expose me to the world.
It is not lost on me that all of these things are indeed noticed, and recorded. And, that I'm accountable for each thing I do, say or think, whethere anyone else on earth took note of them or not. I understand this. Its a bit scary, actually.
I was reading the children's scripture stories to Eli last night and we did the story of the Atonement. I felt very grateful that Christ found me worth His effort...His pain. Because without this gift, I'd be helpless and hopeless.
And, He isn't sharing my faults with the world.
So, in keeping with the Christmas season, I find myself contemplating this gift, and wondering who I might share a similar gift with.
We ALL make mistakes. We all have things we have done that we would take back it if were possible. But, its not. So, we show grattitude it has been atoned for by offering some gentleness to the faults of others. We extend forgiveness.
Because honestly, no one would be happy in a glass house.
I wouldn't!!!!
Sure, it would hold that perhaps if I didn't want those things made known I shouldn't be thinking/doing/saying them. But I'm human. And while I generally try to behave in a way that compliments what I believe, sometimes I fail. Badly.
As such, I would NOT want to be privy to those same weaknesses of others. Its bad enough that my family and a few select :) friends are subject to knowing some of my, ummmm....less than favorable thoughts/sayings and actions. And I'm entirely thankful they've been true to me, and loved me through my faults...laughed off my obviously awful traits...and resisted the urge to expose me to the world.
It is not lost on me that all of these things are indeed noticed, and recorded. And, that I'm accountable for each thing I do, say or think, whethere anyone else on earth took note of them or not. I understand this. Its a bit scary, actually.
I was reading the children's scripture stories to Eli last night and we did the story of the Atonement. I felt very grateful that Christ found me worth His effort...His pain. Because without this gift, I'd be helpless and hopeless.
And, He isn't sharing my faults with the world.
So, in keeping with the Christmas season, I find myself contemplating this gift, and wondering who I might share a similar gift with.
We ALL make mistakes. We all have things we have done that we would take back it if were possible. But, its not. So, we show grattitude it has been atoned for by offering some gentleness to the faults of others. We extend forgiveness.
Because honestly, no one would be happy in a glass house.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
shiney new cadillac....
I definitely think I'll have the makings of a purdy new car after all these dang surgeries...and when I can walk upright, at a normal speed, and sit down with ease...I'll appreciate the gift! For now I simply feel as if I've been hit by a mack-truck!
I headed to Kalispel to the pelvic specialist Monday. My appointment was....well, sad. It seems that my little habit has caused serious damage to my bladder. It was disgusting, and really, one of those moments where I'm ashamed I've mistreated my body so badly! I watched the scope. And I'd have thought it was nasty irregardless...I mean, the inside of a bladder is, in fact, the inside of a bladder. Not pretty material. But seeing what shouldn't have been there...made me cringe a bit! So here I am, publicly committing in the only journal I keep, to give up my diet coke habit entirely. No substituions. Nothing.
Now, it wasn't all my fault....apparently I had TWO problems and while that one was mine...apparently my five children can share blame for the other! So, I've now got some 15 year mesh in place. I asked him if its the stuff I've seen all over the news, and, I'm good. I should be good as new.
For now I'm just laying on my couch sipping my water...and looking at the mess that is my house. It needs dusting. Vacuming(which I can't lift). My dryer has been broke for over a week so I've got laundry washed and piled at the door waiting for my mom to pick it up and take it to her house. I puttered around trying to straighten the main floor. Wowza! What would have normally taken me 15 minutes took me well over an hour! And I was totally done in!
I kept sweet Avis from school today. She had felt sort of left behind when I took Kenna with me to tend Lu in Kalispel. I listened to her as she sang Landri to sleep at nap time...one of those 'moments' that stamped my heart.
If I wasn't grateful enough for a healthy body before now, I certainly am now! Don't take for granted the simple functions of a strong body.
I headed to Kalispel to the pelvic specialist Monday. My appointment was....well, sad. It seems that my little habit has caused serious damage to my bladder. It was disgusting, and really, one of those moments where I'm ashamed I've mistreated my body so badly! I watched the scope. And I'd have thought it was nasty irregardless...I mean, the inside of a bladder is, in fact, the inside of a bladder. Not pretty material. But seeing what shouldn't have been there...made me cringe a bit! So here I am, publicly committing in the only journal I keep, to give up my diet coke habit entirely. No substituions. Nothing.
Now, it wasn't all my fault....apparently I had TWO problems and while that one was mine...apparently my five children can share blame for the other! So, I've now got some 15 year mesh in place. I asked him if its the stuff I've seen all over the news, and, I'm good. I should be good as new.
For now I'm just laying on my couch sipping my water...and looking at the mess that is my house. It needs dusting. Vacuming(which I can't lift). My dryer has been broke for over a week so I've got laundry washed and piled at the door waiting for my mom to pick it up and take it to her house. I puttered around trying to straighten the main floor. Wowza! What would have normally taken me 15 minutes took me well over an hour! And I was totally done in!
I kept sweet Avis from school today. She had felt sort of left behind when I took Kenna with me to tend Lu in Kalispel. I listened to her as she sang Landri to sleep at nap time...one of those 'moments' that stamped my heart.
If I wasn't grateful enough for a healthy body before now, I certainly am now! Don't take for granted the simple functions of a strong body.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Tears
There are lots of sad faces tonight....well, not really lots...just two.
I am headed to Kalispel in the morning to have a quick surgery. And since Miss Lu has scarcely let me out of her sight since we've returned from our big adoption, she's making the trek with me. Kenna weasled in on the trip to be my daycare while I'm in the hospital, and my Landri-entertainer while I'm not feeling up to it. We're staying with one of my oldest friends over there, and lets be totally honest here: THIS part is anything BUT torturous! I'm wicked excited!!!
So tonight at tuck-in time Avery's face turned very very sad...and the tears started flowing! She said that I 'just barely got home from the last trip!' Believe me, it definitely feels that way for me too! And sweet Eli asked for extra snuggles tonight, since I wouldn't be here to offer them the next couple nights.
Nate will be holding down the fort for the next 3 days here. He'll be fine. :)
We are refinancing the house so it must be in TIP TOP shape Tuesday morning...we've been working all weekend on projects. I am thinking he might appreciate my being home Wednesday night :)
I seriously have the best family ever. My dad is driving me over there....my girlfriend shuttling me around the whole time there...and my brother will be picking me up. My mom will man all the morning shifts and after school shifts.
I HATE that all these little trips seem to be stacking on top of each other. Because I HATE needing help. And I need it bad!!! We leave next weekend for required training in Utah for the adoption. Its kind of a blessing that there is required time in between these adoption trips overseas...my children here are struggling with the changes. But, it has definitely quieted some of my doubts that I fail them as a mother. It is so nice to be missed so badly! And...dang it if I don't miss them to pieces!
Grateful for what I've got!
I am headed to Kalispel in the morning to have a quick surgery. And since Miss Lu has scarcely let me out of her sight since we've returned from our big adoption, she's making the trek with me. Kenna weasled in on the trip to be my daycare while I'm in the hospital, and my Landri-entertainer while I'm not feeling up to it. We're staying with one of my oldest friends over there, and lets be totally honest here: THIS part is anything BUT torturous! I'm wicked excited!!!
So tonight at tuck-in time Avery's face turned very very sad...and the tears started flowing! She said that I 'just barely got home from the last trip!' Believe me, it definitely feels that way for me too! And sweet Eli asked for extra snuggles tonight, since I wouldn't be here to offer them the next couple nights.
Nate will be holding down the fort for the next 3 days here. He'll be fine. :)
We are refinancing the house so it must be in TIP TOP shape Tuesday morning...we've been working all weekend on projects. I am thinking he might appreciate my being home Wednesday night :)
I seriously have the best family ever. My dad is driving me over there....my girlfriend shuttling me around the whole time there...and my brother will be picking me up. My mom will man all the morning shifts and after school shifts.
I HATE that all these little trips seem to be stacking on top of each other. Because I HATE needing help. And I need it bad!!! We leave next weekend for required training in Utah for the adoption. Its kind of a blessing that there is required time in between these adoption trips overseas...my children here are struggling with the changes. But, it has definitely quieted some of my doubts that I fail them as a mother. It is so nice to be missed so badly! And...dang it if I don't miss them to pieces!
Grateful for what I've got!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Gobble Gobble...
Happy Thanksgiving~
If you would have given me a glass ball last year and shown me my 2012...well, I don't know what I would have done. I'm sure it would have involved repenting later...
I'm forever thankful that this year is almost behind me! I thought 2011 proved to be difficult, and apparently we had just started our ride. Things have been super stressful this year. Our debt-free creed sort of flew out the window. Everything that could break, pretty much did. And continues to do so. My car wreck has made life delightful. But...when I think about everything that's happened this year...the highlights, the things that I will remember most about this year...are NOT the difficult things. In fact, while this year has indeed sucked(which is a word I don't allow my children to use)...its been beautiful beyond beautiful...
I've learned a few more things about myself. I have some sharp edges that still need refining. And, its likely that next year when I recount my blessings, atop the list AGAIN will be my grattitude that I've not just been struck down AGAIN. Apparently I'm a slow learner :)
But, I'm incredibly blessed. And, I acknowledge my Father's hand, whole-heartedly, in my life.
First and foremost...I am grateful for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am a child of God. I am a daughter of a King. I know who I am. I know God's plan, and I'll follow Him in faith. I cannot imagine living a life without the precious knowledge that every single day, I am working towards something. I'm a work in progress with an eternal purpose, yet I'm entirely capable of blundering as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and just about every other role I cherish! It is my understanding of the purpose of this life that provides value and meaning to every single aspect of my life. The reason things are important to me are because I understand where they fit in my eternal perspective of things. This doesn't mean I've accepted my 'lot' with no complaints! Heavens no! But, I recognize that He sees something in me...and I'll keep working towards it.
Secondly, I am incredibly thankful for Nate. We are different in so many ways...and the same in the ones that really matter. I treasure his committment to the gospel. You NEVER ever ever have to wonder whether Nate's heart is in his service! A woman I love and respect said it best when she announced that I had 'done good' in marrying him. Amen! He's the best. He may be wild. Loud. But he has energy for children when mine is gone. He is black and white...no in betweens with him. When my panic rises, he calms me with his ever present faith. He is good through and through. He stands by our little family. He is the perfect patriarch of our home.
Kids. Kids. and more kids. Life would be incredibly boring, and terribly sad without each and every one of my five kiddos. I am amazed at how Nate and I's DNA has produced five children who are alike yet so very different. Our home wouldn't be the same without the craziness of every day. I won't lie and pretend I appreciate every single moment. I don't. But...the times where the children play and help and there is love and peace in the home make the others bearable! My children have come power packed full of sass, determination and independence. They are funny, and smart and 100% the loves of my life. There is no role...no job...that I would prefer over being their mom. You'll never find me advocating the rights of womanhood outside the home. I don't feel inferior to men. I simply feel that my gifts are different and that I'm blessed far beyond what I'd find somewhere else, by being a mother.
Parents. I pretty much got this one in the sack: I've got THE.BEST.PARENTS.EVER. I read somewhere once that love wasn't boughten with money, but time. My parents epitomize this truth. I can't say that I at any point felt rich growing up. But I can say that I always had more than enough. I always felt safe, and loved and treasured. My parents have supported me, chastened me when needed, pitched in and helped when asked and when they just noticed a need. They have laid the map for how I hope to be as a grandparent. Kolbe wrote a poem for english class about his favorite grandparents. It was a riot! He said they are 'definately lacking'....and after I stopped snorting over his honesty and his funny commentary...I was grateful that he knows what he does. That my parents adore the kid. That they'd give up anything to be a part of his life. Love is bought with time...and how my parents have 'time' to offer any one else beyond what they give me, is a mystery!
Quality of life: There are constant reminders in simple things that help me to remember my blessings. The sky. Its absolutely beautiful every morning and every night. My children have learned that its one of my favorite things EVER and they point out the colors to me and claim the prettiest to be their handiwork. Our recent trip has reinforced how grateful I am to have been born when and where I was. I know freedom and peace and happiness even in a world that is generally chaotic. We have a nice, comfortable home that meets our needs. Plenty of food. A WICKED fireplace :) and everything else we NEED to be happy and safe.
Friends. I have always had one or two good friends. And Heavenly Father has blessed me with some goldies that will be on my side from now until the end! I need friends. Not lots of friends. But I need to have someone to confide in...to share with...to lean on...and then return the favor!
I could list my blessings one by one. I've been doing it in my head all month! But...simply put, these are the main focuses...the central reasons I feel incredibly blessed this year.
In the next few months we'll add another child, one of His choicest spirits to our home. And with that challenge will come more blessings than I, Nate, or our kids will be able to count. While I can't claim to always love the path I walk...I do always look back, after completing a challenge, and feel grateful I've been given the chance to walk and grow.
Happy Thanksgiving 2012!
If you would have given me a glass ball last year and shown me my 2012...well, I don't know what I would have done. I'm sure it would have involved repenting later...
I'm forever thankful that this year is almost behind me! I thought 2011 proved to be difficult, and apparently we had just started our ride. Things have been super stressful this year. Our debt-free creed sort of flew out the window. Everything that could break, pretty much did. And continues to do so. My car wreck has made life delightful. But...when I think about everything that's happened this year...the highlights, the things that I will remember most about this year...are NOT the difficult things. In fact, while this year has indeed sucked(which is a word I don't allow my children to use)...its been beautiful beyond beautiful...
I've learned a few more things about myself. I have some sharp edges that still need refining. And, its likely that next year when I recount my blessings, atop the list AGAIN will be my grattitude that I've not just been struck down AGAIN. Apparently I'm a slow learner :)
But, I'm incredibly blessed. And, I acknowledge my Father's hand, whole-heartedly, in my life.
First and foremost...I am grateful for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am a child of God. I am a daughter of a King. I know who I am. I know God's plan, and I'll follow Him in faith. I cannot imagine living a life without the precious knowledge that every single day, I am working towards something. I'm a work in progress with an eternal purpose, yet I'm entirely capable of blundering as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and just about every other role I cherish! It is my understanding of the purpose of this life that provides value and meaning to every single aspect of my life. The reason things are important to me are because I understand where they fit in my eternal perspective of things. This doesn't mean I've accepted my 'lot' with no complaints! Heavens no! But, I recognize that He sees something in me...and I'll keep working towards it.
Secondly, I am incredibly thankful for Nate. We are different in so many ways...and the same in the ones that really matter. I treasure his committment to the gospel. You NEVER ever ever have to wonder whether Nate's heart is in his service! A woman I love and respect said it best when she announced that I had 'done good' in marrying him. Amen! He's the best. He may be wild. Loud. But he has energy for children when mine is gone. He is black and white...no in betweens with him. When my panic rises, he calms me with his ever present faith. He is good through and through. He stands by our little family. He is the perfect patriarch of our home.
Kids. Kids. and more kids. Life would be incredibly boring, and terribly sad without each and every one of my five kiddos. I am amazed at how Nate and I's DNA has produced five children who are alike yet so very different. Our home wouldn't be the same without the craziness of every day. I won't lie and pretend I appreciate every single moment. I don't. But...the times where the children play and help and there is love and peace in the home make the others bearable! My children have come power packed full of sass, determination and independence. They are funny, and smart and 100% the loves of my life. There is no role...no job...that I would prefer over being their mom. You'll never find me advocating the rights of womanhood outside the home. I don't feel inferior to men. I simply feel that my gifts are different and that I'm blessed far beyond what I'd find somewhere else, by being a mother.
Parents. I pretty much got this one in the sack: I've got THE.BEST.PARENTS.EVER. I read somewhere once that love wasn't boughten with money, but time. My parents epitomize this truth. I can't say that I at any point felt rich growing up. But I can say that I always had more than enough. I always felt safe, and loved and treasured. My parents have supported me, chastened me when needed, pitched in and helped when asked and when they just noticed a need. They have laid the map for how I hope to be as a grandparent. Kolbe wrote a poem for english class about his favorite grandparents. It was a riot! He said they are 'definately lacking'....and after I stopped snorting over his honesty and his funny commentary...I was grateful that he knows what he does. That my parents adore the kid. That they'd give up anything to be a part of his life. Love is bought with time...and how my parents have 'time' to offer any one else beyond what they give me, is a mystery!
Quality of life: There are constant reminders in simple things that help me to remember my blessings. The sky. Its absolutely beautiful every morning and every night. My children have learned that its one of my favorite things EVER and they point out the colors to me and claim the prettiest to be their handiwork. Our recent trip has reinforced how grateful I am to have been born when and where I was. I know freedom and peace and happiness even in a world that is generally chaotic. We have a nice, comfortable home that meets our needs. Plenty of food. A WICKED fireplace :) and everything else we NEED to be happy and safe.
Friends. I have always had one or two good friends. And Heavenly Father has blessed me with some goldies that will be on my side from now until the end! I need friends. Not lots of friends. But I need to have someone to confide in...to share with...to lean on...and then return the favor!
I could list my blessings one by one. I've been doing it in my head all month! But...simply put, these are the main focuses...the central reasons I feel incredibly blessed this year.
In the next few months we'll add another child, one of His choicest spirits to our home. And with that challenge will come more blessings than I, Nate, or our kids will be able to count. While I can't claim to always love the path I walk...I do always look back, after completing a challenge, and feel grateful I've been given the chance to walk and grow.
Happy Thanksgiving 2012!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Eli Sam
If you couldn't guess why I love this little taz....here's a recap:
Tonight he went into town with my parents. They ended up at Walmart. He convinced them, well, he convinced my mom....that he needed a few things. My dad is smarter than my mom. He knows the art of saying no.
Here's the run down of his must-haves: a toothbrush, feather duster, mini-kaeleidoscope(with which he said, "there's like....fourteen of you in here dad") two containers of hand sanitizer, cause he 'really needs it and is gonna keep getting more' to keep his hands clean.
He's incredibly practical.
Tonight he went into town with my parents. They ended up at Walmart. He convinced them, well, he convinced my mom....that he needed a few things. My dad is smarter than my mom. He knows the art of saying no.
Here's the run down of his must-haves: a toothbrush, feather duster, mini-kaeleidoscope(with which he said, "there's like....fourteen of you in here dad") two containers of hand sanitizer, cause he 'really needs it and is gonna keep getting more' to keep his hands clean.
He's incredibly practical.
The big trip....
I know. I know. I'm a slacker.
I thought with some of the down time we had in country, I'd blog. I did it....once. But typing on an ipad isn't exactly effecient. And I'm lazy. Its like mixing oil and water. Plus, that supid auto-correct function was incredibly frustrating...I still have some editing of that last post to do! Believe me, I KNOW there were grammar errors...don't judge.
Anyhooooooo....where to start? How about the fact that people aren't exactly lining up to sit by Nate and me on the plane. He has major anxiety attacks. I think I mentioned this on my first blog. We're talking MAJOR. So we are figureing out the appropriate dosing schedule to keep a very clastrophobic/hyperactive man strapped in a 18 inch wide space for 12 hours. And me, as his travel mate, happily puking in my little 'sick' bag beside him. I think my favorite was the fact that due to turbulence my pretty little(seriously, they're beautiful) Korean Air flight attendent woudln't let me get up and had to be my 'delivery' service...trading in and out sick bags.
At this point of the process, I'm sad that we're a few months out...but incredibly grateful I don't have to fly any time soon...
Flying east, about as far as you could go from our home without starting to get closer again, we lost 18 hours. We were a day ahead of home...six hours behind. So contacting the kids was difficult because by the time we'd get back to the motel after the orphanage, Lu and Eli were often in bed and we didn't see much of them. Which STUNK.
The first motel we stayed at was in a large city. It was older, lodge-style. Thankfully the front desk girl spoke decent english so we had a small link to normalacy. We got to motel Sunday night local time. There was some government holiday Monday...so we entirely wasted a day doing nothing. I've seen my fair share of movies...and I'm paranoid as heck. So I would have been happy to hide in our room the whole day. However, my husband was chomping at the bit to get moving. So we walked. And walked. The country is grey and misty, apparently year round. Wasn't overly cold yet...just kind of depressing looking. We ventured to the sea, which I'm sure would have been very busy during summer weather. We wandered around the safety of the neighborhood near our motel.That was all I could grant him.
Tuesday morning we headed to the government office that granted a permit for us to visit Claire. As we waited our turn, the interpreter casually mentioned that they'd just ask us some basic questions...like, what are we adopting for? how much money we make? why we want Claire? You know...easy stuff....to discuss with a perfect stranger...who scowls and never smiles at all. ANXIETY. Well, apparently we passed the first hurdle and were granted permission to go to the orphanage. We spent about 2 hours driving around town getting things notarized and other business before heading out of town.
side note: The traffic is NUTS. Nate and I were flinching as we huddled together in the back seat. The white line in the middle of the road doesn't even have the power to suggest which side of the road one should be on. Passing on the left? Nope. Not necessary. People weaved in and out of traffic...we thought for sure we'd die. There's no where to park? No problem. Just stack the parallel parking 2 or three cars deep. Doesn't matter if you box someone in, just leave a phone number. When we were shocked and asked if they wouldn't get a ticket our interpreter asked us, confused and shocked, if we would? YES! The roads are in terrible condition...monster pot holes everywhere.
Our orphanage was located about 3 and 1/2 hours from the main city we flew into. So we headed out...The terrain is totally different than ours. Mostly because the foliage is so different. The hills I would have seen covered in pine trees here were covered in birch trees. And they were thick along the roadsides...but no deer or wildlife to be seen. At all! I imagine its beautiful in the spring with leaves. The people don't smile, and its intimidating. The housing is something I can't comprehend. And...there's no toilet paper. Well, in our hotel there is. But, don't expect it in a public bathroom. Because you better be ready to shake it if you did. And...be thankful for toilets that were built for flushing toilet paper. See, its the simple things I was thankful for.
We spent many hours in the outdoor markets. Nate is alot more adventurous than I, for sure. We realized that this area of the world is a bit behind us...so, not everyone...really, hardly anyone, takes VISA. So, we'll take more cash next time :) We have learned some tips that will make eating a bit more enjoyable too. We're taking cup-o-noodles and peanut butter. And licorice. DANG it I wanted twizzlers! But on to the important stuff:
I can simply sum up our time at the orphanage with one word: Overwhelming.
Now this word has a negative connotation. And, in some ways, that would be accurate. There had been so much build up to this moment that my emotions were a wreck. My stomach hadn't really recovered from flying, so I felt awful. I was terrified. Nervous. Missing the children I've never left behind something terrible. But the good outweighed the bad! Anxious. Excited. Curious. I only had to glance at my husband and see the excited sparkle in his eyes to know where he stood.
When we got in the room, a designated play room for us, we waited for her. She arrived all decked out and dolled up. She ran straight for Nate and hugged and hugged and hugged him. She patted his cheeks, then pulled him in again. She gave me hugs too, but basically I'm just another woman in the room full of women. Nate was something entirely different, and...it melted him!
Day one was overstimulating. We had all our stuff laid out and she couldn't stay with one thing very long. She ate a disgusting amount of chocolates, and chugged grape juice until she puked it on Nate. We had about 3 hours together in this tiny room before her caretaker returned to take her back to her group. Now...another sidenote. Part of what scared me the most was what would her reaction to us be. Because all the training we have read says if they are affectionate with strangers then there will likely be attachment issues. And...while I'd like to pretend that she couldn't get enough of us...it wasn't like that. She'd play with us and then go over to the women who spoke her language. She'd climb in their laps and was most comfortable there. But that was a good thing to see. We saw firsthand that she has been loved. The rest of our time together we were careful to only have one thing out at a time.
The caretaker and doctor both said that she is the 'star'...the kind, funny, happy child who helps everyone else, and we were both incredibly relieved to see that she had not been entirely neglected. Do I think she's had the best environment? No...absolutely not. But she will thrive in a family.
In our family. She has TONS of personality. She is spunky. And determined. And stubborn. She doesn't speak english, obviously, but she is SMART! She understood so much of what we said to her...and if she liked it, it was obvious. And if she didn't, it was also obvious! She would hold her hand up and kind of grunt at us! Like, back off! But we were told she's non-verbal. And we entirely disagree. The girl needs some speech therapy. But, I'm fairly confident she'll speak fine. Within the first visit she was repeating words we said. It was amazing.
I think her favorite thing we brought was the fake Hello Kitty fingernails. She loved them! Tapped them on the desk, and picked things up with them. It was funny. She loved doing my hair. She did it every day. She's a very good colorer.
We spent 4 days with her...
She's going to be fine. It will be an adjustment, for sure. And, its the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken.
We continue to take criticism from family/friends who 'don't understand'. And...believe me when I say I don't care if you 'understand'...it isn't your decision. It is the scariest thing I've ever done. And there are days I am terrified. A few have pointed out we already have 5 children. Kinda knew that. That is the ONLY reason this is scary. Because at this point...I have the perfect life. I don't have perfect children. I'm not perfect. But, this is my life! And, I'd choose it over again EVERY SINGLE CHANCE. And there are definite moments of doubt where I wonder what in the world my Heavenly Father sees in me that I don't. Because I'm inadequate in just about every way. There is no role I fill that I feel I do well. I do 'okay'...but nothing that I've mastered. So this adventure is walking out in the darkness, with faith, for sure. Knowing that there will be hard times and adjustments, I'm preparing my mind and heart for who are my true allies. Who can I share my struggles with in the future that won't silently(and...not so silently...) broadcast that they doubted my choice from the start? That they somehow knew better than I?
To these people I can only answer this: I have never, not even once, experienced that lightning bolt kind of answer to my prayers. My answers have always been a calm, I can 'see' this as my life kind of feeling. This experience has been similar to the one I had when I prayed to know if I should get married to Nate...after knowing him not quite 3 months...and never having had even one steady boyfriend...against my parents' wishes...at 19 years old. I just felt peace. Not overwhelming by any means. Just...an ability to 'see' my life with him. I may be only 15 year in...but if every decision that came with this kind of answer brings this amount of joy to my life, BRING IT ON!!!
When we went to the temple to consider this decision, we just looked at each other and knew, again, that we'd be here with her. Sealing her to us forever.
We didn't seek her out. We didn't decide on this country. We FOUND her. We prayed. We KNOW that she should come to our family. We are terrified just the same as we are excited. And we need prayers of support, and peace and comfort.
Stand with us.
Every single experience in my life that has proven to be difficult for me...every single one...has done one thing: drawn me closer to my Savior. I desperately need the strength and peace that comes from knowing that I am a daughter of God; I am His. He knows me and loves me. And...I'd like to believe that He is, on the whole, pleased with my efforts, even when I fall down.
This life is such a short moment of eternity! No matter the struggle we're in for...we're in for BLESSINGS as well! And then, we're promised an eternity of perfection! And...Claire is a HUGE part of that picture.
Heavenly Father, I cannot express without the rawest of emotions...just how deeply I recognize Thy hand in my life. I have been given the key to happiness, and blessed with the promise of eternity. And....I'm able to share these precious gifts with the ones I love the most: my family.
(sorry, no pics because I worry about privacy....)
I thought with some of the down time we had in country, I'd blog. I did it....once. But typing on an ipad isn't exactly effecient. And I'm lazy. Its like mixing oil and water. Plus, that supid auto-correct function was incredibly frustrating...I still have some editing of that last post to do! Believe me, I KNOW there were grammar errors...don't judge.
Anyhooooooo....where to start? How about the fact that people aren't exactly lining up to sit by Nate and me on the plane. He has major anxiety attacks. I think I mentioned this on my first blog. We're talking MAJOR. So we are figureing out the appropriate dosing schedule to keep a very clastrophobic/hyperactive man strapped in a 18 inch wide space for 12 hours. And me, as his travel mate, happily puking in my little 'sick' bag beside him. I think my favorite was the fact that due to turbulence my pretty little(seriously, they're beautiful) Korean Air flight attendent woudln't let me get up and had to be my 'delivery' service...trading in and out sick bags.
At this point of the process, I'm sad that we're a few months out...but incredibly grateful I don't have to fly any time soon...
Flying east, about as far as you could go from our home without starting to get closer again, we lost 18 hours. We were a day ahead of home...six hours behind. So contacting the kids was difficult because by the time we'd get back to the motel after the orphanage, Lu and Eli were often in bed and we didn't see much of them. Which STUNK.
The first motel we stayed at was in a large city. It was older, lodge-style. Thankfully the front desk girl spoke decent english so we had a small link to normalacy. We got to motel Sunday night local time. There was some government holiday Monday...so we entirely wasted a day doing nothing. I've seen my fair share of movies...and I'm paranoid as heck. So I would have been happy to hide in our room the whole day. However, my husband was chomping at the bit to get moving. So we walked. And walked. The country is grey and misty, apparently year round. Wasn't overly cold yet...just kind of depressing looking. We ventured to the sea, which I'm sure would have been very busy during summer weather. We wandered around the safety of the neighborhood near our motel.That was all I could grant him.
Tuesday morning we headed to the government office that granted a permit for us to visit Claire. As we waited our turn, the interpreter casually mentioned that they'd just ask us some basic questions...like, what are we adopting for? how much money we make? why we want Claire? You know...easy stuff....to discuss with a perfect stranger...who scowls and never smiles at all. ANXIETY. Well, apparently we passed the first hurdle and were granted permission to go to the orphanage. We spent about 2 hours driving around town getting things notarized and other business before heading out of town.
side note: The traffic is NUTS. Nate and I were flinching as we huddled together in the back seat. The white line in the middle of the road doesn't even have the power to suggest which side of the road one should be on. Passing on the left? Nope. Not necessary. People weaved in and out of traffic...we thought for sure we'd die. There's no where to park? No problem. Just stack the parallel parking 2 or three cars deep. Doesn't matter if you box someone in, just leave a phone number. When we were shocked and asked if they wouldn't get a ticket our interpreter asked us, confused and shocked, if we would? YES! The roads are in terrible condition...monster pot holes everywhere.
Our orphanage was located about 3 and 1/2 hours from the main city we flew into. So we headed out...The terrain is totally different than ours. Mostly because the foliage is so different. The hills I would have seen covered in pine trees here were covered in birch trees. And they were thick along the roadsides...but no deer or wildlife to be seen. At all! I imagine its beautiful in the spring with leaves. The people don't smile, and its intimidating. The housing is something I can't comprehend. And...there's no toilet paper. Well, in our hotel there is. But, don't expect it in a public bathroom. Because you better be ready to shake it if you did. And...be thankful for toilets that were built for flushing toilet paper. See, its the simple things I was thankful for.
We spent many hours in the outdoor markets. Nate is alot more adventurous than I, for sure. We realized that this area of the world is a bit behind us...so, not everyone...really, hardly anyone, takes VISA. So, we'll take more cash next time :) We have learned some tips that will make eating a bit more enjoyable too. We're taking cup-o-noodles and peanut butter. And licorice. DANG it I wanted twizzlers! But on to the important stuff:
I can simply sum up our time at the orphanage with one word: Overwhelming.
Now this word has a negative connotation. And, in some ways, that would be accurate. There had been so much build up to this moment that my emotions were a wreck. My stomach hadn't really recovered from flying, so I felt awful. I was terrified. Nervous. Missing the children I've never left behind something terrible. But the good outweighed the bad! Anxious. Excited. Curious. I only had to glance at my husband and see the excited sparkle in his eyes to know where he stood.
When we got in the room, a designated play room for us, we waited for her. She arrived all decked out and dolled up. She ran straight for Nate and hugged and hugged and hugged him. She patted his cheeks, then pulled him in again. She gave me hugs too, but basically I'm just another woman in the room full of women. Nate was something entirely different, and...it melted him!
Day one was overstimulating. We had all our stuff laid out and she couldn't stay with one thing very long. She ate a disgusting amount of chocolates, and chugged grape juice until she puked it on Nate. We had about 3 hours together in this tiny room before her caretaker returned to take her back to her group. Now...another sidenote. Part of what scared me the most was what would her reaction to us be. Because all the training we have read says if they are affectionate with strangers then there will likely be attachment issues. And...while I'd like to pretend that she couldn't get enough of us...it wasn't like that. She'd play with us and then go over to the women who spoke her language. She'd climb in their laps and was most comfortable there. But that was a good thing to see. We saw firsthand that she has been loved. The rest of our time together we were careful to only have one thing out at a time.
The caretaker and doctor both said that she is the 'star'...the kind, funny, happy child who helps everyone else, and we were both incredibly relieved to see that she had not been entirely neglected. Do I think she's had the best environment? No...absolutely not. But she will thrive in a family.
In our family. She has TONS of personality. She is spunky. And determined. And stubborn. She doesn't speak english, obviously, but she is SMART! She understood so much of what we said to her...and if she liked it, it was obvious. And if she didn't, it was also obvious! She would hold her hand up and kind of grunt at us! Like, back off! But we were told she's non-verbal. And we entirely disagree. The girl needs some speech therapy. But, I'm fairly confident she'll speak fine. Within the first visit she was repeating words we said. It was amazing.
I think her favorite thing we brought was the fake Hello Kitty fingernails. She loved them! Tapped them on the desk, and picked things up with them. It was funny. She loved doing my hair. She did it every day. She's a very good colorer.
We spent 4 days with her...
She's going to be fine. It will be an adjustment, for sure. And, its the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken.
We continue to take criticism from family/friends who 'don't understand'. And...believe me when I say I don't care if you 'understand'...it isn't your decision. It is the scariest thing I've ever done. And there are days I am terrified. A few have pointed out we already have 5 children. Kinda knew that. That is the ONLY reason this is scary. Because at this point...I have the perfect life. I don't have perfect children. I'm not perfect. But, this is my life! And, I'd choose it over again EVERY SINGLE CHANCE. And there are definite moments of doubt where I wonder what in the world my Heavenly Father sees in me that I don't. Because I'm inadequate in just about every way. There is no role I fill that I feel I do well. I do 'okay'...but nothing that I've mastered. So this adventure is walking out in the darkness, with faith, for sure. Knowing that there will be hard times and adjustments, I'm preparing my mind and heart for who are my true allies. Who can I share my struggles with in the future that won't silently(and...not so silently...) broadcast that they doubted my choice from the start? That they somehow knew better than I?
To these people I can only answer this: I have never, not even once, experienced that lightning bolt kind of answer to my prayers. My answers have always been a calm, I can 'see' this as my life kind of feeling. This experience has been similar to the one I had when I prayed to know if I should get married to Nate...after knowing him not quite 3 months...and never having had even one steady boyfriend...against my parents' wishes...at 19 years old. I just felt peace. Not overwhelming by any means. Just...an ability to 'see' my life with him. I may be only 15 year in...but if every decision that came with this kind of answer brings this amount of joy to my life, BRING IT ON!!!
When we went to the temple to consider this decision, we just looked at each other and knew, again, that we'd be here with her. Sealing her to us forever.
We didn't seek her out. We didn't decide on this country. We FOUND her. We prayed. We KNOW that she should come to our family. We are terrified just the same as we are excited. And we need prayers of support, and peace and comfort.
Stand with us.
Every single experience in my life that has proven to be difficult for me...every single one...has done one thing: drawn me closer to my Savior. I desperately need the strength and peace that comes from knowing that I am a daughter of God; I am His. He knows me and loves me. And...I'd like to believe that He is, on the whole, pleased with my efforts, even when I fall down.
This life is such a short moment of eternity! No matter the struggle we're in for...we're in for BLESSINGS as well! And then, we're promised an eternity of perfection! And...Claire is a HUGE part of that picture.
Heavenly Father, I cannot express without the rawest of emotions...just how deeply I recognize Thy hand in my life. I have been given the key to happiness, and blessed with the promise of eternity. And....I'm able to share these precious gifts with the ones I love the most: my family.
(sorry, no pics because I worry about privacy....)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Travel and Day 1
Thank heavens we are done with the airplanes for a few days....
The flight to Seattle was sp easy it was almost enjoyable. We had a six hour layover there which we wasted wandering around the many shops. I managed to knock over a display in one, sending it shattering to the floor. Thankfully all it cost me was an eye rolling from the young clerk who got to clean my mess :) note to self: Over the shoulder bag adds bulk to an already bulky me.
The flight to Seoul was ok too. Other an my Korean neighbor picked his nose liberally AND chewed with his mouth WIDE open. This only proved bothersome when he ate, or had a boogie. If he would have understood me I may have shared my grandma's wise wisdom: pick your ears and pick your toes but never, ever, pick your nose!' My back is very sore, as sitting that long was very hard. The meds worked well for Nate. I fed him one just as we boarded and about six hrs into the flight, when he all of a sudden announced that he needed to get up, and just walk around, I fed him a second! We arrived in Seoul about six pm local time. That is 16 hrs ahead of our time, so you can imagine our exhaustion! We checked into our room, on the 2nd floor of the airport :) and then started to look for something to eat. Well I now know the secret to the petite Asian women is not genetic: their food is NAsTY! We walked two very long halls to find 3 establishments to eat...nothing appealing to me. We saw so many couples walking around in matching shirts. Gag. Maybe Nate and I will try this next time??? But it was the ritziest place I have ever seen. Like...RICH. Prada. Gucci. Cartier. Mulberry. Louis vat ton. And tons more. Apparently teeny tiny Korean women all buy purses that cost a fortune, and pass on normal food. And makeup: Clinique and Lancôme are huge too, they even sell them on the airplane. A big shout out for Korean air! Incredible service!!! Anyhow, I could barely walk from exhaustion and was getting might grumpy at the selection in food. We did find a little vendor selling sandwiches, so we bought one. She repeated my choice to me, so I know we WERE temporarily on the same page. However one bite of that thing had me dashing for the toilet to spit it out. Lesson learned: tuna sand which is not a universal principle. Gag. So Nate and I enjoyed a lovely dinner of Pringles chips and bottled water for dinner. Delish.
In the morning we stumbled into the food court of the airport, the one remaining hall I refused to walk last night after finding only purses, and nothing to eat last night. Now, most of it looked questionable to me, so we easily agreed on something from Burger King. Lesson learned: a whopper meal for breakfast WILL haunt you when your plane hits turbulence. But, it was a glorified 'binge and purge'...no harm done! The flight today was by far the worst. Both Nate and I were sick. We met another couple heading here to adopt from Arkansas. It was comforting. So far the terrain isn't what I expect. The sky is so grey, it's gloomy. Things are very run down, kind of sad looking. The city isn't as 'city' as I thought. At least what we have seen. Our translator is a beautiful young girl. We head tomorrow to the govt. office to get permission to visit our daughter, then drive the 5 hours to the city we will stay in, still some 40 minutes from the orphanage.
My emotions are raw. Some of that has to do with the fact I am ridiculously tired, but... I miss my children terribly! Face time was fun, though Lu's saying " mommy where ARE you, I love you!" sent me into tears. My stomach hasn't quite recovered, so I have eaten a few small pieces of jerky I packed, and a little baked potato tonight. Where the crap is that golden arch?
Basically tonight I am killing time to where I can take my sleeping pill and hopefully perform some catch up tonight! So....stay tuned! I am eating my instant oatmeal tomorrow morning.....hopefully it gets to stay down and tomorrow proves to be a success. We're off to meet our princess!
The flight to Seattle was sp easy it was almost enjoyable. We had a six hour layover there which we wasted wandering around the many shops. I managed to knock over a display in one, sending it shattering to the floor. Thankfully all it cost me was an eye rolling from the young clerk who got to clean my mess :) note to self: Over the shoulder bag adds bulk to an already bulky me.
The flight to Seoul was ok too. Other an my Korean neighbor picked his nose liberally AND chewed with his mouth WIDE open. This only proved bothersome when he ate, or had a boogie. If he would have understood me I may have shared my grandma's wise wisdom: pick your ears and pick your toes but never, ever, pick your nose!' My back is very sore, as sitting that long was very hard. The meds worked well for Nate. I fed him one just as we boarded and about six hrs into the flight, when he all of a sudden announced that he needed to get up, and just walk around, I fed him a second! We arrived in Seoul about six pm local time. That is 16 hrs ahead of our time, so you can imagine our exhaustion! We checked into our room, on the 2nd floor of the airport :) and then started to look for something to eat. Well I now know the secret to the petite Asian women is not genetic: their food is NAsTY! We walked two very long halls to find 3 establishments to eat...nothing appealing to me. We saw so many couples walking around in matching shirts. Gag. Maybe Nate and I will try this next time??? But it was the ritziest place I have ever seen. Like...RICH. Prada. Gucci. Cartier. Mulberry. Louis vat ton. And tons more. Apparently teeny tiny Korean women all buy purses that cost a fortune, and pass on normal food. And makeup: Clinique and Lancôme are huge too, they even sell them on the airplane. A big shout out for Korean air! Incredible service!!! Anyhow, I could barely walk from exhaustion and was getting might grumpy at the selection in food. We did find a little vendor selling sandwiches, so we bought one. She repeated my choice to me, so I know we WERE temporarily on the same page. However one bite of that thing had me dashing for the toilet to spit it out. Lesson learned: tuna sand which is not a universal principle. Gag. So Nate and I enjoyed a lovely dinner of Pringles chips and bottled water for dinner. Delish.
In the morning we stumbled into the food court of the airport, the one remaining hall I refused to walk last night after finding only purses, and nothing to eat last night. Now, most of it looked questionable to me, so we easily agreed on something from Burger King. Lesson learned: a whopper meal for breakfast WILL haunt you when your plane hits turbulence. But, it was a glorified 'binge and purge'...no harm done! The flight today was by far the worst. Both Nate and I were sick. We met another couple heading here to adopt from Arkansas. It was comforting. So far the terrain isn't what I expect. The sky is so grey, it's gloomy. Things are very run down, kind of sad looking. The city isn't as 'city' as I thought. At least what we have seen. Our translator is a beautiful young girl. We head tomorrow to the govt. office to get permission to visit our daughter, then drive the 5 hours to the city we will stay in, still some 40 minutes from the orphanage.
My emotions are raw. Some of that has to do with the fact I am ridiculously tired, but... I miss my children terribly! Face time was fun, though Lu's saying " mommy where ARE you, I love you!" sent me into tears. My stomach hasn't quite recovered, so I have eaten a few small pieces of jerky I packed, and a little baked potato tonight. Where the crap is that golden arch?
Basically tonight I am killing time to where I can take my sleeping pill and hopefully perform some catch up tonight! So....stay tuned! I am eating my instant oatmeal tomorrow morning.....hopefully it gets to stay down and tomorrow proves to be a success. We're off to meet our princess!
Friday, November 2, 2012
NO time like the present...
Its been such a wild week. No time to even breathe. I can't sleep at night because my mind is packing the suitcase...playing games that when we show up, sweet girl is gone, and, well, just plain old freaking out.
I took Lu with me today on a run to GF to finalize my preparations for the big trip. She was AWFUL. Can't even express how awful! She scowled and growled at strangers, insisting they 'stop wooking at me' and 'stay away from me'...what happened to my sweet girl?
I'm not that confused about it really. This morning my favorite music was playing and I was holding Landri like a baby, at her request...I pulled her up tight against me and snuggled my face into hers...and she closed her eyes and we just danced. Then, when the song changed she simply said, 'you weave mommy, to see _____(can't really say her name here :)
Anxiety sets in: I've teared up so many times today just thinking about leaving my five children behind to meet another. I wonder what they think. Eli asked me if I loved him last night. And then asked if I love ______. I can see those little wheels turning. And there is confusion and anxiety building.
I'm sure they'll be good for mom dad. The calander is written and posted on the fridge detailing just how tired my parents will be at the end of this week. Meals are in the fridge, labeled so the kids can whine about their contents days before actually eating them :)
I'm entirely thankful for each of my kids. I have loved Kolbe's growing up these last few months...he's becoming a friend...someone FUN to laugh and joke and relate to beyond 'kid' conversation. He is such a good kid. I look forward to what the next few years hold for him. Kenna is my little mini. She's effecient and determined. There will be no lapse in routine with her around! Avery will struggle without me tucking her in, I can already see her big brown eyes. She'll probably be the quiet, sad one. Eli, well...he's under dad's thumb! :) He'll be fine. He's perfect for everyone but me, so I think he'll be happy to see us when we get back, but won't miss us too much! Nate thinks I'm wrong here. I hope so! And Landri...my baby! What is it about her being my baby that just the thought of leaving her makes my eyes well and I just can't stand it? She wants to go with me on the airplane. Now, there is NO ONE on earth that she'd take to better than my dad, her prized 'PAPA' and "Grandma Neic" These two people rate incredibly high on her little importo-meter. But why wouldn't they?
There are no better grandparents in the world: they are always calling, always asking, always so involved in my kids' lives. My kids know they're loved because they FEEL it. And that is the only reason that I'm even slightly able to pull this off: I have never left my kids for more than a night. I feel safer with my chicks huddled close beside me. So, if I have to give up my spot in the nest there's no one I'd happier give it to than my parents.
......as a sidenote we're supposed to take a journal to express our feelings on this trip. I'm thinking it will be incredibly incoherent at times...because I 'ugly' cry.
I'll miss my monkies terribly! But I'm going to LOVE meeting this new one!
I took Lu with me today on a run to GF to finalize my preparations for the big trip. She was AWFUL. Can't even express how awful! She scowled and growled at strangers, insisting they 'stop wooking at me' and 'stay away from me'...what happened to my sweet girl?
I'm not that confused about it really. This morning my favorite music was playing and I was holding Landri like a baby, at her request...I pulled her up tight against me and snuggled my face into hers...and she closed her eyes and we just danced. Then, when the song changed she simply said, 'you weave mommy, to see _____(can't really say her name here :)
Anxiety sets in: I've teared up so many times today just thinking about leaving my five children behind to meet another. I wonder what they think. Eli asked me if I loved him last night. And then asked if I love ______. I can see those little wheels turning. And there is confusion and anxiety building.
I'm sure they'll be good for mom dad. The calander is written and posted on the fridge detailing just how tired my parents will be at the end of this week. Meals are in the fridge, labeled so the kids can whine about their contents days before actually eating them :)
I'm entirely thankful for each of my kids. I have loved Kolbe's growing up these last few months...he's becoming a friend...someone FUN to laugh and joke and relate to beyond 'kid' conversation. He is such a good kid. I look forward to what the next few years hold for him. Kenna is my little mini. She's effecient and determined. There will be no lapse in routine with her around! Avery will struggle without me tucking her in, I can already see her big brown eyes. She'll probably be the quiet, sad one. Eli, well...he's under dad's thumb! :) He'll be fine. He's perfect for everyone but me, so I think he'll be happy to see us when we get back, but won't miss us too much! Nate thinks I'm wrong here. I hope so! And Landri...my baby! What is it about her being my baby that just the thought of leaving her makes my eyes well and I just can't stand it? She wants to go with me on the airplane. Now, there is NO ONE on earth that she'd take to better than my dad, her prized 'PAPA' and "Grandma Neic" These two people rate incredibly high on her little importo-meter. But why wouldn't they?
There are no better grandparents in the world: they are always calling, always asking, always so involved in my kids' lives. My kids know they're loved because they FEEL it. And that is the only reason that I'm even slightly able to pull this off: I have never left my kids for more than a night. I feel safer with my chicks huddled close beside me. So, if I have to give up my spot in the nest there's no one I'd happier give it to than my parents.
......as a sidenote we're supposed to take a journal to express our feelings on this trip. I'm thinking it will be incredibly incoherent at times...because I 'ugly' cry.
I'll miss my monkies terribly! But I'm going to LOVE meeting this new one!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The smallest of things...
I have been missing my grandma something fierce lately. I just miss having someone ALWAYS on my side. I hate that feeling of sadness that inevitabley always comes when I think about calling her to come and waste the day with me...and realizing I'm on my own. It remains the cruelest of ironies to me: I finally got to move home with my monkies and she's not here!
While my emotions have been entirely out of whack(I know understand the comment adoptive moms make about being 'paper-pregnant') lately, it's definitely times like now that I miss her most. She would be beside me, helping me get ready to go...and chugging my now caffeine free beverage with me until I felt at least a little emboldened. I MISS YOU GRANDMA!
There is a picture of you on my dresser...gotta have it there to say hello to morning and night. I have the sweatshirt you wore the last day I saw you hanging in my closet...and just the other day I sank my face into it praying for a glimpse of your scent! Those things are gone now. And that's really sad to me. But, I am entirely aware that you're watching me, and recognzing when I need my bestest friend in the most. Just this morning I was bossing Landri Lu around...trying to encourage some movement contrary to what she was offering and she all of a sudden spun around and headed in the right direction and said, "lets go! Chop Chop!" And in the smallest of things I felt you....
While my emotions have been entirely out of whack(I know understand the comment adoptive moms make about being 'paper-pregnant') lately, it's definitely times like now that I miss her most. She would be beside me, helping me get ready to go...and chugging my now caffeine free beverage with me until I felt at least a little emboldened. I MISS YOU GRANDMA!
There is a picture of you on my dresser...gotta have it there to say hello to morning and night. I have the sweatshirt you wore the last day I saw you hanging in my closet...and just the other day I sank my face into it praying for a glimpse of your scent! Those things are gone now. And that's really sad to me. But, I am entirely aware that you're watching me, and recognzing when I need my bestest friend in the most. Just this morning I was bossing Landri Lu around...trying to encourage some movement contrary to what she was offering and she all of a sudden spun around and headed in the right direction and said, "lets go! Chop Chop!" And in the smallest of things I felt you....
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Procedure One:
Thursday proved to be just as eventful as every other day in the saga of our lives....
At least we are fully able to recognize and even appreciate the sense of humor of our loving Heavenly Father. And, His protective hand.
Nate tagged a dear in our commuter car. I shouldn't really lie, when I read the text from him, 'just hit a deer', I thought, 'of course you did' a little unhappily. But when I saw the damage I was immediately thankful; it could be so much worse! Still drives..and it only registers about 25% higher on the rez-mobile ticker.
I worked early Thursday, getting to the office shortly after 7 to get my hours in early....big day. As I was headed to the hospital for my surgery, the nurse called to notify me that I needed to get there, if I wasn't already. The doctor was running WAY ahead...I did my best to get there as fast as I could, only to be seated in the waiting room. AFter sitting there for 10 minutes I went up to the counter and explained the gals in back were waiting on me, that they'd actually called and told me to hurry. At this the woman was super annoyed, and again told me to sit. A few minutes later she called my name, "Julie?"...so I followed her into the office and she closed the door. Now, they've begun this really annoying little practice of asking you your name and what procedure you're having done, over and over...and I'd already answered this 3x before this sweet woman took me back. So, when she asked what I was having done, I was feeling a little onery and didn't answer immediately. She noticed my rebellion and kind of huffed, "A breast augmentation..." WHAT????? Since my shock was obvious and I nearly fell off my chair she asked my name again. To my surprise there was a Julie with a last name ridiculously close to mine...and SHE was in for a much different surgery than mine. I told the nurse had Julie #2 been in for a tummy tuck as well I might consider continuing our little charade until after, and opting out of the augmentation all together. She wasn't impressed. So I was escorted back to my seat, again, and told to wait. At this point I've been sitting in the lobby for about half an hour...and the nurse told me to hurry! And crabby abbs at the desk chastized ME for answering to the wrong name. It obviously wasn't her fault!!!
After being rescued by the nurse in back, who was a tiny bit annoyed I was so late, I was taken into the bathroom to be weighed. Now, this is about is fun for me as, well, having breast augmentation. I climbed on the elephant scale and turned my back, telling her not to tell me the grant total. Door wide open, she yelled. Yes. Yelled. The number out. I was so stunned I just looked at her. Okay, that was one sweetie...
We then were rushed into the room, I stripped down to put my nightie on, ties in the back, and climbed into bed where I spent the next 20 minutes watching my weight-sharing nurse poke and search...not pulling the needle out, just holding it under my skin, searching for a vein. Seriously, 20 minutes. 3 attempts on one arm. As she's digging a second nurse came in and asked how she could be helpful. Nurse Sunshine then told her I needed my blood-clot socks, though she had a funny name for them I can't remember. Ted socks????? or something. And...she threw in, 'Large!' in the rudest tone...so much so that the second nurse sort of looked me over and raised her eye brows and responded that she didn't think I needed a large. She picked up the blanket, and looks me over good and responds, 'Yep, large.' The other nurse walked off to fetch the socks, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She came back with mediums and proceded to put them on me, pulling me this way and that, all the while Nurse Ratchett poked around a bit more. I was beginning to think being Julie #2 had its plusses: Namely: different nurses on the other wing.
The doc walked in right as she finally hit a vein, and announced he wasn't waiting for the labs to return before operating. He asked me, "Well, you ready to go blow up your uterus?" Um, sure. I was hauled to surgery and the last thing I remember is asking them never to repeat the things I say while going under...and hearing the anesthesiologist cheerfully promise me a 'cocktail.' Whatever that was, I liked it.
I believe the polyp issue has has been rectified.
I feel fine...totally normal. Easy peasy. One more to go while this stuff is free!
At least we are fully able to recognize and even appreciate the sense of humor of our loving Heavenly Father. And, His protective hand.
Nate tagged a dear in our commuter car. I shouldn't really lie, when I read the text from him, 'just hit a deer', I thought, 'of course you did' a little unhappily. But when I saw the damage I was immediately thankful; it could be so much worse! Still drives..and it only registers about 25% higher on the rez-mobile ticker.
I worked early Thursday, getting to the office shortly after 7 to get my hours in early....big day. As I was headed to the hospital for my surgery, the nurse called to notify me that I needed to get there, if I wasn't already. The doctor was running WAY ahead...I did my best to get there as fast as I could, only to be seated in the waiting room. AFter sitting there for 10 minutes I went up to the counter and explained the gals in back were waiting on me, that they'd actually called and told me to hurry. At this the woman was super annoyed, and again told me to sit. A few minutes later she called my name, "Julie?"...so I followed her into the office and she closed the door. Now, they've begun this really annoying little practice of asking you your name and what procedure you're having done, over and over...and I'd already answered this 3x before this sweet woman took me back. So, when she asked what I was having done, I was feeling a little onery and didn't answer immediately. She noticed my rebellion and kind of huffed, "A breast augmentation..." WHAT????? Since my shock was obvious and I nearly fell off my chair she asked my name again. To my surprise there was a Julie with a last name ridiculously close to mine...and SHE was in for a much different surgery than mine. I told the nurse had Julie #2 been in for a tummy tuck as well I might consider continuing our little charade until after, and opting out of the augmentation all together. She wasn't impressed. So I was escorted back to my seat, again, and told to wait. At this point I've been sitting in the lobby for about half an hour...and the nurse told me to hurry! And crabby abbs at the desk chastized ME for answering to the wrong name. It obviously wasn't her fault!!!
After being rescued by the nurse in back, who was a tiny bit annoyed I was so late, I was taken into the bathroom to be weighed. Now, this is about is fun for me as, well, having breast augmentation. I climbed on the elephant scale and turned my back, telling her not to tell me the grant total. Door wide open, she yelled. Yes. Yelled. The number out. I was so stunned I just looked at her. Okay, that was one sweetie...
We then were rushed into the room, I stripped down to put my nightie on, ties in the back, and climbed into bed where I spent the next 20 minutes watching my weight-sharing nurse poke and search...not pulling the needle out, just holding it under my skin, searching for a vein. Seriously, 20 minutes. 3 attempts on one arm. As she's digging a second nurse came in and asked how she could be helpful. Nurse Sunshine then told her I needed my blood-clot socks, though she had a funny name for them I can't remember. Ted socks????? or something. And...she threw in, 'Large!' in the rudest tone...so much so that the second nurse sort of looked me over and raised her eye brows and responded that she didn't think I needed a large. She picked up the blanket, and looks me over good and responds, 'Yep, large.' The other nurse walked off to fetch the socks, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She came back with mediums and proceded to put them on me, pulling me this way and that, all the while Nurse Ratchett poked around a bit more. I was beginning to think being Julie #2 had its plusses: Namely: different nurses on the other wing.
The doc walked in right as she finally hit a vein, and announced he wasn't waiting for the labs to return before operating. He asked me, "Well, you ready to go blow up your uterus?" Um, sure. I was hauled to surgery and the last thing I remember is asking them never to repeat the things I say while going under...and hearing the anesthesiologist cheerfully promise me a 'cocktail.' Whatever that was, I liked it.
I believe the polyp issue has has been rectified.
I feel fine...totally normal. Easy peasy. One more to go while this stuff is free!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Good morning beautiful...
How was my day?
It started very early...Lu climbed in my bed in the middle of the night as she frequently does. And, as she frequently does, she peed my bed. (so, if I die, and you're clearing out my house, and my mattress is more stained than any other in the house...rememeber I mentioned this little detail). So, I got up, stripped the bed and climbed back in with only my comforter around us and turned on the 'toons' to silence her pleading. I don't do well in the early morning. Its a very difficult, dangerous time. And it was barely 6 a.m.
As I'd just gotten myself ready to doze again...she started in with 'cockola milk mommy'....'COCKOLA MILK MOMMMMYYYYY!' So, I stumbled down the stairs and mixed her sippie cup, trudged back up to bed and climbed in beside her...snuggling her in close. All of my kids are snugglers. They get it from me. So, this is one of my favorite parts of the day, even if it happens in the m.o.r.n.i.n.g. Well, Lu is a bit of a horker. She seriously chugged her cup, knocked it back, in no more than 10 seconds. Shocker...shortly thereafer she started shifting around beside me, pushing her tummy out. She climbed out of bed and announced, "I'm-a gonna fwo-up momma. FWO-UP!" So, I jumped up and yelled at her to get in the bathroom...take ONE step onto the tile floor. Nope. As she was shaking her head no at me she made a mess of my carpet. Again: we are talking 6 am folks.
I kinda chuckled and started the shower, pulling her nighty off, and told her to jump in the shower as I cleaned up. I turned my back and got to work, then ran down to throw a load of laundry in. As I peeked in the shower to check on her I was pleased to see her in her pink monkey print panties...soaking off the morning! Avery was equally thrilled when she went to jump in the shower with her, because Lu wasn't getting out any time...to see her cute little chubby monkey panties!
Oh, how I love my kids!
As it got close to 10 am, and she'd been awake for a LONG time already, I put a diaper on her thinking I'd snuggle her to sleep. Which didn't happen, immediately. So, after 3 sippy cups(I'm a bit indulgent today) of cockola milk she proceded to unhook her very wet diaper, drop it at my feet and announce, 'it's nasty mom' and walking off...
It was actually a good morning. I love the little moments that make my life my own!
It started very early...Lu climbed in my bed in the middle of the night as she frequently does. And, as she frequently does, she peed my bed. (so, if I die, and you're clearing out my house, and my mattress is more stained than any other in the house...rememeber I mentioned this little detail). So, I got up, stripped the bed and climbed back in with only my comforter around us and turned on the 'toons' to silence her pleading. I don't do well in the early morning. Its a very difficult, dangerous time. And it was barely 6 a.m.
As I'd just gotten myself ready to doze again...she started in with 'cockola milk mommy'....'COCKOLA MILK MOMMMMYYYYY!' So, I stumbled down the stairs and mixed her sippie cup, trudged back up to bed and climbed in beside her...snuggling her in close. All of my kids are snugglers. They get it from me. So, this is one of my favorite parts of the day, even if it happens in the m.o.r.n.i.n.g. Well, Lu is a bit of a horker. She seriously chugged her cup, knocked it back, in no more than 10 seconds. Shocker...shortly thereafer she started shifting around beside me, pushing her tummy out. She climbed out of bed and announced, "I'm-a gonna fwo-up momma. FWO-UP!" So, I jumped up and yelled at her to get in the bathroom...take ONE step onto the tile floor. Nope. As she was shaking her head no at me she made a mess of my carpet. Again: we are talking 6 am folks.
I kinda chuckled and started the shower, pulling her nighty off, and told her to jump in the shower as I cleaned up. I turned my back and got to work, then ran down to throw a load of laundry in. As I peeked in the shower to check on her I was pleased to see her in her pink monkey print panties...soaking off the morning! Avery was equally thrilled when she went to jump in the shower with her, because Lu wasn't getting out any time...to see her cute little chubby monkey panties!
Oh, how I love my kids!
As it got close to 10 am, and she'd been awake for a LONG time already, I put a diaper on her thinking I'd snuggle her to sleep. Which didn't happen, immediately. So, after 3 sippy cups(I'm a bit indulgent today) of cockola milk she proceded to unhook her very wet diaper, drop it at my feet and announce, 'it's nasty mom' and walking off...
It was actually a good morning. I love the little moments that make my life my own!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Alberta Calgary open house...
We hardly ever go anywhere with the kids. First of all, they're horrible travelers. Which, in turn, makes me horrible company. Its a bit of a vicious cycle. So I wasn't super excited to the weekend's trip. And, I'm beyond thrilled with it now that we survived :)
At the center of our faith is the belief, well, KNOWLEDGE, that a family can be sealed together forever. It is central to this principle that the Priesthood of God has been restored to the earth, and that its power is available to righteous men. This principle is the same as it was in the Church that Jesus Christ established when He lived on this earth.
Armed with this testimony, there are certain buildings, known as temples, that are sacred and special above all others on this earth because of their ordination to perform in services that bind us as families forever. Every single oridance that occurs within these walls has one purpose: to seal children to their parents, and link generations of people together. It is in esssence the great truth and purpose of this gospel. And, we believe, it is a continuance of the manner in which we lived before we were granted the opportunity to leave our Heavenly home, and come to earth.
Because of the sacred nature of the temple, not everyone can go in. Regular interviews are required with church leaders who assess our worthiness...our EFFORTS....to maintain certain standards of living...to qualify us for service in the temple. When a child is 12 they are allowed limited access inside to perform certain ordinances. Beyond that, it is limited to adults, who are ready to commit themselves to following the laws and promises extended inside.
This being said...we have advocated being worthy to go inside to our children every.single.chance.we. have. been.given. since they were itty-bitty. We testify all the time about how grateful we are that Heavenly Father has given this Priesthood power to seal forever our families! We've described some of the beautiful things they'll see...
But how THANKFUL I am that this weekend we were able to travel to Calgary Alberta to the open house of the new temple there. During this time, it is open to EVERYONE, regardless of religion and age. You are led through every room inside to see there are no secrets there. And it is beautiful! And...it is exciting! And..you can't help but feel the Spirit of God there.
All of my children were touched. The quietness of Eli, his large usually dancing with mischief eyes were round in wonder. The way Kolbe held his mouth, and the expression on his face. Kenna's eagerness to see the 'next' room. Landri, pushing ahead of me, through the legs of huge crowds, to get into the first room with beautiful chandeliers...to hear her say, at a slightly irreverent :) volume, "oooooooohhhhhhh. Woooooowwwwww! I want one!" And then, there was my personal favorite: My sweet Avery walked silently by my side the whole time. She held my hand, and looked around with the most perfect expression of reverence...like she just got it......as we entered the celestial room, the final place of the tour...the most beautiful room in the temple by far....she raised her eyes up to the crystal chandeliers, which are by far the prettiest fixtures I have EVER seen...and her eyes filled with tears. We made eye contact and she just smiled. It was of course that moment where as a parent you are humbled to 'see' the giant spirit of that child you try to raise. A man at the door was evidently watching this all happen, for when I looked at him he was staring intently at Avery, his eyes pooling too.
So grattitude doesn't quite express my feelings of being able to take my children through the temple this weekend. Hope doesn't quite express my desire to have them all there again with me in the future. I will gladly give up every other comfort in this world for the assurance that my children will be mine forever.
I have many friends and family members who do not share my faith. They share a knowledge of a living, loving God. But different faith. And...I count them to be among my treasures! I hope that they could one day walk the steps my children walked this weekend, and see with different eyes that we, members of the Church of Jesus Christ, are Christian.
I love my Savior. I love my testimony of Him. I love my knowledge of His plan for me(even if I disagree with a few of the given experiences :) and I love my family. And...I am grateful.
At the center of our faith is the belief, well, KNOWLEDGE, that a family can be sealed together forever. It is central to this principle that the Priesthood of God has been restored to the earth, and that its power is available to righteous men. This principle is the same as it was in the Church that Jesus Christ established when He lived on this earth.
Armed with this testimony, there are certain buildings, known as temples, that are sacred and special above all others on this earth because of their ordination to perform in services that bind us as families forever. Every single oridance that occurs within these walls has one purpose: to seal children to their parents, and link generations of people together. It is in esssence the great truth and purpose of this gospel. And, we believe, it is a continuance of the manner in which we lived before we were granted the opportunity to leave our Heavenly home, and come to earth.
Because of the sacred nature of the temple, not everyone can go in. Regular interviews are required with church leaders who assess our worthiness...our EFFORTS....to maintain certain standards of living...to qualify us for service in the temple. When a child is 12 they are allowed limited access inside to perform certain ordinances. Beyond that, it is limited to adults, who are ready to commit themselves to following the laws and promises extended inside.
This being said...we have advocated being worthy to go inside to our children every.single.chance.we. have. been.given. since they were itty-bitty. We testify all the time about how grateful we are that Heavenly Father has given this Priesthood power to seal forever our families! We've described some of the beautiful things they'll see...
But how THANKFUL I am that this weekend we were able to travel to Calgary Alberta to the open house of the new temple there. During this time, it is open to EVERYONE, regardless of religion and age. You are led through every room inside to see there are no secrets there. And it is beautiful! And...it is exciting! And..you can't help but feel the Spirit of God there.
All of my children were touched. The quietness of Eli, his large usually dancing with mischief eyes were round in wonder. The way Kolbe held his mouth, and the expression on his face. Kenna's eagerness to see the 'next' room. Landri, pushing ahead of me, through the legs of huge crowds, to get into the first room with beautiful chandeliers...to hear her say, at a slightly irreverent :) volume, "oooooooohhhhhhh. Woooooowwwwww! I want one!" And then, there was my personal favorite: My sweet Avery walked silently by my side the whole time. She held my hand, and looked around with the most perfect expression of reverence...like she just got it......as we entered the celestial room, the final place of the tour...the most beautiful room in the temple by far....she raised her eyes up to the crystal chandeliers, which are by far the prettiest fixtures I have EVER seen...and her eyes filled with tears. We made eye contact and she just smiled. It was of course that moment where as a parent you are humbled to 'see' the giant spirit of that child you try to raise. A man at the door was evidently watching this all happen, for when I looked at him he was staring intently at Avery, his eyes pooling too.
So grattitude doesn't quite express my feelings of being able to take my children through the temple this weekend. Hope doesn't quite express my desire to have them all there again with me in the future. I will gladly give up every other comfort in this world for the assurance that my children will be mine forever.
I have many friends and family members who do not share my faith. They share a knowledge of a living, loving God. But different faith. And...I count them to be among my treasures! I hope that they could one day walk the steps my children walked this weekend, and see with different eyes that we, members of the Church of Jesus Christ, are Christian.
I love my Savior. I love my testimony of Him. I love my knowledge of His plan for me(even if I disagree with a few of the given experiences :) and I love my family. And...I am grateful.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
travel me shmavel me....
Since neither of us has ever gone farther than...Canada...we're basically Dumb and Dumber.
And that is a scary prospect. Because the thought of riding with Nate on a mo-ped, through freezing weather...and, well, you know how they kept warm! Ugh...
I'm a wreck! Seriously, the thought of meeting this sweet child has me crazy worried. What will she think? What if she doesn't like us? What do we take to do with her? Can we entertain her for 4 hours straight? and then there's the ones that really scare me: How, in the name of heck, am I supposed to let my eyes and hands fall in love with this girl, my heart melt for her, and then turn my back to leave her for another couple months in a place where NO one wants her...NO one loves her? How? How do we leave ANY of them behind? Which one might fit in my suitcase? Its incredibly overwhelming to me.
And so I won't allow myself to think about it again.
For now I'll busy myself preparing. I'm kinda type A. But, I'm also a person who, when things are unknown, would prefer handholding. So...I NEED this trip totally planned. Like, what to take EXACTLY for who. How much money, EXACTLY.
For now I'm working to collect the gifts we need to take. (but...if this process weren't so freakishly expensive maybe donations would be easier to round up???) I've made a haul to the dollar store once...but how much is expected? Like, how many tubes of neosporin should one take? Tylenol? Bandaids? Buttcream.
And the very worst thing is that my doctor today told me in preparation for surgery next month that I need to give up caffeine. I asked, 'oh, for surgery?' He said, 'No, for life.' WHAT? That's like telling a chain smoker they gotta go cold turkey while they're being audited by the IRS. Gonna. Kill. Me.
And that is a scary prospect. Because the thought of riding with Nate on a mo-ped, through freezing weather...and, well, you know how they kept warm! Ugh...
I'm a wreck! Seriously, the thought of meeting this sweet child has me crazy worried. What will she think? What if she doesn't like us? What do we take to do with her? Can we entertain her for 4 hours straight? and then there's the ones that really scare me: How, in the name of heck, am I supposed to let my eyes and hands fall in love with this girl, my heart melt for her, and then turn my back to leave her for another couple months in a place where NO one wants her...NO one loves her? How? How do we leave ANY of them behind? Which one might fit in my suitcase? Its incredibly overwhelming to me.
And so I won't allow myself to think about it again.
For now I'll busy myself preparing. I'm kinda type A. But, I'm also a person who, when things are unknown, would prefer handholding. So...I NEED this trip totally planned. Like, what to take EXACTLY for who. How much money, EXACTLY.
For now I'm working to collect the gifts we need to take. (but...if this process weren't so freakishly expensive maybe donations would be easier to round up???) I've made a haul to the dollar store once...but how much is expected? Like, how many tubes of neosporin should one take? Tylenol? Bandaids? Buttcream.
And the very worst thing is that my doctor today told me in preparation for surgery next month that I need to give up caffeine. I asked, 'oh, for surgery?' He said, 'No, for life.' WHAT? That's like telling a chain smoker they gotta go cold turkey while they're being audited by the IRS. Gonna. Kill. Me.
Monday, October 15, 2012
whooo whooo...
We have large owls in the trees at the park across the street, and the church across the other street. At night you can hear them hoot. Lu has even mock 'hooted' at them to only have them answer back. She's half fascinated, half terrified by them.
Tonight she had on a pair of old jammies that rightfully need to be gifted to someone shorter. Much shorter. She battled back and forth about having the long enough, or having a severe case of plumber bummmm. She's been watching the barbie movies as much as we'll allow lately so she rarely stands still. She thinks she is a dancing pricess barbie, twirling and dancing around. We all enjoyed the frenzy of her spinning and dancing, and her acknowledgment that her 'cwack' was showing and she'd tug up her britches to cover it. As we finished scriptures it was time to stop dancing and kneel down, QUIETLY, to pray. It wasn't happening. So Nate scooped her up and lifted her up on his shoulders while he kneeled to keep her at least contained. She instantly started thrashing around...and when we got her chilled, I asked what was wrong. She was tugging at her jammie pants and said, 'the OWLS! the OWLS! They come.....and EAT my Butt!' Well, that was a real crowd pleaser! Her brothers and sisters...and, me, all started laughing. She wasn't convinced she was out of danger and begged Nate, 'let me close it! close it!' which was her desire to 'close the gap' on her britches and exposed bum! Holy.
This kid is seriuosly power packed with spunk and sass. I just love her.
Tonight she had on a pair of old jammies that rightfully need to be gifted to someone shorter. Much shorter. She battled back and forth about having the long enough, or having a severe case of plumber bummmm. She's been watching the barbie movies as much as we'll allow lately so she rarely stands still. She thinks she is a dancing pricess barbie, twirling and dancing around. We all enjoyed the frenzy of her spinning and dancing, and her acknowledgment that her 'cwack' was showing and she'd tug up her britches to cover it. As we finished scriptures it was time to stop dancing and kneel down, QUIETLY, to pray. It wasn't happening. So Nate scooped her up and lifted her up on his shoulders while he kneeled to keep her at least contained. She instantly started thrashing around...and when we got her chilled, I asked what was wrong. She was tugging at her jammie pants and said, 'the OWLS! the OWLS! They come.....and EAT my Butt!' Well, that was a real crowd pleaser! Her brothers and sisters...and, me, all started laughing. She wasn't convinced she was out of danger and begged Nate, 'let me close it! close it!' which was her desire to 'close the gap' on her britches and exposed bum! Holy.
This kid is seriuosly power packed with spunk and sass. I just love her.
Redemption!
....not gonna sugar coat it: the last few months have been miserable.
So, when I opened my email this morning to find a request that we arrive in our sweet girl's city, ALL THE WAY across the world, on November 5th, lets just say that my mood took an instant upswing! I can't wait! So excited, and instantly scared to death all at once. We've never traveled...so, holy cow, terrified. But. Its official. We're in the process now! So...tick tock, tick tock. Let's get this princess home!
So, when I opened my email this morning to find a request that we arrive in our sweet girl's city, ALL THE WAY across the world, on November 5th, lets just say that my mood took an instant upswing! I can't wait! So excited, and instantly scared to death all at once. We've never traveled...so, holy cow, terrified. But. Its official. We're in the process now! So...tick tock, tick tock. Let's get this princess home!
Friday, October 5, 2012
For journal purposes...
This is strictly for journalling. To read in some future moment when I think things are hard...or easy...to give perspective, hope and hopefully a giggle!
1. My back is jacked. Can't sleep. Exercise. Sit too long. Carry heavy things. And sometimes stand. Car wreck has proven to be a bit more fun than I realized...Have had injections in my neck, at base of head, which plain STUNK. Holy. Owie. Have had 3 sets of nerve blocking ocipital nerve shots in head. Also fun. Had injections in lower back...happily much easier than the neck injections. Physical therapy for 6 months with small results...and one very stumped(probably grumpy at me) physical therapist who I have grown to really like and respect. Until he mentioned I need to do the injections again. :)
2. Adopting. Which is the hugest blessing and opportunity for growth. For me. My children. However the stress-financially and emotionally is unreal. Should cost upwards of 40k. Yep. We have been blessed with some great fundraisers...generous friends...and, we've robbed the 401k. It will all work out..and I'm willing to jump through any and every hoop to raise this princess to be healthy and happy in spite of *them* and *their rules* and all naysayers.
3. Dental disasters galore. I seem to think dentures might be the way to go. They'd be clean. Removable. And painless. And...at this rate, paid for sooner than the rest of my pending repairs. Two major issues...one involving a week of torture, one RIDICULOUSLY kind and generous friend/endodontist who made personal phone calls and even late night office visits to save me going to the ER. Maxed out dental policy, and have a temp crown on until Jan 1. At which point I will max out the policy again.
4. Bills. If it can be broken, it has been broken. Since deciding to adopt we've replaced the BBQ, fridge and lawnmower. Repaired many things. And left many undone(like my wretched double sink in the upstairs bathroom) until next year...when things HAVE to be calmer.....
5. Kids. There seems to be nothing harder than the growing pains of a child. Watching them grow, make mistakes, live those consequences...seeing their successes is about the greatest joy there is. Adjusting with each new stage is difficult. And we've hit a few stages with a teenage boy, pre-teen going on 18 girl...(Avery is pretty stinking easy always...) an Eli, and a potty training sass-pot in training. Granted...the stink filled moments are WAY less than the ones we love...but momma bear is growing less able to contain myself. And that isn't always the best solution.
6. Church callings. Don't misunderstand me. I'd be hacked to lose my calling. And I'd be even more hacked to live with Nate if he lost his. Its just...there is a burden in knowing the importance of teaching the gospel...a knowledge of Jesus Christ...to young children. Knowing what I know...I know what they need to know...and, I know that mountains loom in front of many of them. Did I give it my best this week? Did I let you down? Do you think you can do it better? Its alot...but...its alot on the other side of things too. You can't IMAGINE the thrill of hearing a child express their testimony in the calm of a song...or witness the quiet strength of the Holy Ghost testifying to what we learn. THE.BEST.CALLING.EVER.
7. Work. There is a fine line between doing what you have to do....and satisfying others. Some days I am firmly footed on the side I feel comfortable. Others I am not.
8. Lu fell and hurt her hip. Carried her 3 days non stop. Hi fevers. Long nights. X-rays and a stumped doctor...and then a miraculous healing.
9. Nate's broken shnozzzz. A lost battle with an old woman resulting in surgery...the most hysterical fit of giggles I've ever had the pleasure of hearing...and disappointingly colorless eyes. Was hoping for a bit more pizazz...but again....amazing healing.
10. Eli-sweet Eli. Late night ear aches that threaten to rupture. And an issue that should have been resolved years ago by his first pediatrician that as of today...well, probably next week sometime...will be done forever :) Halelujah. (Don't ever let a doctor convince you against your instict as a parent. ) Also want to remember the moment sis Jen called to say, amidst her giggles, that Eli announced in music class his disappointment that they'd not be doing instruments that day, but on the day he'd be gone. 'Why are you gone?' they wonder...'cause I'm having surgery on my parts' he says. 'What are your parts?' Then, that pause, and the arched eyebrow, the downward point...and the reply....very slowly...'you know....the parts(with that look that says, you know what I'm talking about right?) the parts that Heavenly Father gave you.' And then there's the funny moment when he's asked why he made the announcement we'd discussed not making...and he melts me and produces days of giggles when he makes the cutest face and says....'oh yah, I forgot!'
11. Stitches...well staple....in the back of Miss Avery's noggin. Apparently heads don't fare well with flying scooters...but, then, I probably could have guessed that without testing it out.
12. Personal successes. After 15 years, returning to a place you haven't been since then. And, feeling capable of better. 33.
13. Personal inadequacies...Knowing that sometimes my best will still fall short. Acknowledging that it is likely I'm on someone's "list"...
14.Friends. Thank heavens for these. Thankful I've got a few goldies who've been on my side forever...and confidence they'll stay there!!!
15. Health. Its a little scary to think you're having an unnecessary procedure because it will better your life...only to receive news there's additional issues and possibilties of more than you bargain for. Grateful that Heavenly Father worked this out in my favor...and that the minor-est of procedures can fix it.
16. Family. In all cases, a blessing. In some cases...not one that's recognized until eternity! :)
17. Wealth. Realization that monetarily, this one's out. But declaration that in every.single.way.that.counts.....HOLY STINKING RICH!
18. Car wrecks. That are your fault. That seem to make you realize that there's something to be grateful for in all things. And...teach you to value things differently. And...add to your growing debt :)
19. A flooded basement that results entirely out of my stupidity. Hours of work. And great answer to prayers that its ok...
20.The escapee...twice. Once involved waking up early to discover the door was open and Lu was gone. And 911. The other involved a dad..nameless of course...who didn't feel the child clinging at his leg disappear because the power of the football game was sucking his brain out...
21. Perspective.
I can't even begin to explain the deep understanding I have that Heavenly Father knows me. He listens to me complain...whine...and, in certain '3rd hour' moments, directly answers my prayers. And, in others, lets me learn that His understanding is greater than mine. There are moments every day where I see the perfectly beautiful sun, setting over the Sawtooth mountains...and hear Eli explain that he painted the sky for me, and that it took him all night to do it...and that he loves me. There are moments. In the middle of happy days and sad. Moments when I quietly acknowledge how very much I a blessed with, and that I can be better than I am today.
Its been a difficult stretch...I don't appreciate some of these things while I'm in the middle of them...and doubt some of them I ever will :) But...stretch I am. And...hopefully some of it sticks, so I'm not asked to do it again. And hopefully some of it stays just the way it is!
1. My back is jacked. Can't sleep. Exercise. Sit too long. Carry heavy things. And sometimes stand. Car wreck has proven to be a bit more fun than I realized...Have had injections in my neck, at base of head, which plain STUNK. Holy. Owie. Have had 3 sets of nerve blocking ocipital nerve shots in head. Also fun. Had injections in lower back...happily much easier than the neck injections. Physical therapy for 6 months with small results...and one very stumped(probably grumpy at me) physical therapist who I have grown to really like and respect. Until he mentioned I need to do the injections again. :)
2. Adopting. Which is the hugest blessing and opportunity for growth. For me. My children. However the stress-financially and emotionally is unreal. Should cost upwards of 40k. Yep. We have been blessed with some great fundraisers...generous friends...and, we've robbed the 401k. It will all work out..and I'm willing to jump through any and every hoop to raise this princess to be healthy and happy in spite of *them* and *their rules* and all naysayers.
3. Dental disasters galore. I seem to think dentures might be the way to go. They'd be clean. Removable. And painless. And...at this rate, paid for sooner than the rest of my pending repairs. Two major issues...one involving a week of torture, one RIDICULOUSLY kind and generous friend/endodontist who made personal phone calls and even late night office visits to save me going to the ER. Maxed out dental policy, and have a temp crown on until Jan 1. At which point I will max out the policy again.
4. Bills. If it can be broken, it has been broken. Since deciding to adopt we've replaced the BBQ, fridge and lawnmower. Repaired many things. And left many undone(like my wretched double sink in the upstairs bathroom) until next year...when things HAVE to be calmer.....
5. Kids. There seems to be nothing harder than the growing pains of a child. Watching them grow, make mistakes, live those consequences...seeing their successes is about the greatest joy there is. Adjusting with each new stage is difficult. And we've hit a few stages with a teenage boy, pre-teen going on 18 girl...(Avery is pretty stinking easy always...) an Eli, and a potty training sass-pot in training. Granted...the stink filled moments are WAY less than the ones we love...but momma bear is growing less able to contain myself. And that isn't always the best solution.
6. Church callings. Don't misunderstand me. I'd be hacked to lose my calling. And I'd be even more hacked to live with Nate if he lost his. Its just...there is a burden in knowing the importance of teaching the gospel...a knowledge of Jesus Christ...to young children. Knowing what I know...I know what they need to know...and, I know that mountains loom in front of many of them. Did I give it my best this week? Did I let you down? Do you think you can do it better? Its alot...but...its alot on the other side of things too. You can't IMAGINE the thrill of hearing a child express their testimony in the calm of a song...or witness the quiet strength of the Holy Ghost testifying to what we learn. THE.BEST.CALLING.EVER.
7. Work. There is a fine line between doing what you have to do....and satisfying others. Some days I am firmly footed on the side I feel comfortable. Others I am not.
8. Lu fell and hurt her hip. Carried her 3 days non stop. Hi fevers. Long nights. X-rays and a stumped doctor...and then a miraculous healing.
9. Nate's broken shnozzzz. A lost battle with an old woman resulting in surgery...the most hysterical fit of giggles I've ever had the pleasure of hearing...and disappointingly colorless eyes. Was hoping for a bit more pizazz...but again....amazing healing.
10. Eli-sweet Eli. Late night ear aches that threaten to rupture. And an issue that should have been resolved years ago by his first pediatrician that as of today...well, probably next week sometime...will be done forever :) Halelujah. (Don't ever let a doctor convince you against your instict as a parent. ) Also want to remember the moment sis Jen called to say, amidst her giggles, that Eli announced in music class his disappointment that they'd not be doing instruments that day, but on the day he'd be gone. 'Why are you gone?' they wonder...'cause I'm having surgery on my parts' he says. 'What are your parts?' Then, that pause, and the arched eyebrow, the downward point...and the reply....very slowly...'you know....the parts(with that look that says, you know what I'm talking about right?) the parts that Heavenly Father gave you.' And then there's the funny moment when he's asked why he made the announcement we'd discussed not making...and he melts me and produces days of giggles when he makes the cutest face and says....'oh yah, I forgot!'
11. Stitches...well staple....in the back of Miss Avery's noggin. Apparently heads don't fare well with flying scooters...but, then, I probably could have guessed that without testing it out.
12. Personal successes. After 15 years, returning to a place you haven't been since then. And, feeling capable of better. 33.
13. Personal inadequacies...Knowing that sometimes my best will still fall short. Acknowledging that it is likely I'm on someone's "list"...
14.Friends. Thank heavens for these. Thankful I've got a few goldies who've been on my side forever...and confidence they'll stay there!!!
15. Health. Its a little scary to think you're having an unnecessary procedure because it will better your life...only to receive news there's additional issues and possibilties of more than you bargain for. Grateful that Heavenly Father worked this out in my favor...and that the minor-est of procedures can fix it.
16. Family. In all cases, a blessing. In some cases...not one that's recognized until eternity! :)
17. Wealth. Realization that monetarily, this one's out. But declaration that in every.single.way.that.counts.....HOLY STINKING RICH!
18. Car wrecks. That are your fault. That seem to make you realize that there's something to be grateful for in all things. And...teach you to value things differently. And...add to your growing debt :)
19. A flooded basement that results entirely out of my stupidity. Hours of work. And great answer to prayers that its ok...
20.The escapee...twice. Once involved waking up early to discover the door was open and Lu was gone. And 911. The other involved a dad..nameless of course...who didn't feel the child clinging at his leg disappear because the power of the football game was sucking his brain out...
21. Perspective.
I can't even begin to explain the deep understanding I have that Heavenly Father knows me. He listens to me complain...whine...and, in certain '3rd hour' moments, directly answers my prayers. And, in others, lets me learn that His understanding is greater than mine. There are moments every day where I see the perfectly beautiful sun, setting over the Sawtooth mountains...and hear Eli explain that he painted the sky for me, and that it took him all night to do it...and that he loves me. There are moments. In the middle of happy days and sad. Moments when I quietly acknowledge how very much I a blessed with, and that I can be better than I am today.
Its been a difficult stretch...I don't appreciate some of these things while I'm in the middle of them...and doubt some of them I ever will :) But...stretch I am. And...hopefully some of it sticks, so I'm not asked to do it again. And hopefully some of it stays just the way it is!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The ugly blue vest...
As a testament that its all in "perspective", my dad is actually considering a career change.
See, yesterday in the midst of my 'under-water' experience in the basement, my dad would grumble something and my mom would burst out in hysterical fits of the giggles. Not knowing what was so funny about dad's complaints, or occassional cursings of me...and being a bit still in the middle of a pity party and not seeing alot of humor myself...I didn't even question what could be making mom laugh. Today she felt my emotional stability was enough such that I could know the truth.
After calling my dad yesterday morning bright and early, and quite simply stating, "Dad, I left the hose on all night. My basement is flooded. Can you bring in shop vacs and help?", this is what happened there....
Dad, having just been woken up from a good night's sleep...said "Denise, I think its time we get job's at Walmart. Not because we need the money. But I understand it now. We need a job there so we have an excuse to be busy from our kids' lives." :) Well, until I see his purdy little blue vest, I'm still calling him. And, just for the record, I can work my problems around his shift work.
I think what really bothers me is that I am a fairly non-dramatic person. I HATE when things are off schedule and un-routine. And my life has been non-stop drama and disaster lately. And I'm not complaining. I'm incredibly grateful. Because as stressed as I've been...I have a bit of perspective. I realize that these things are small bumps along the path. Annoying. Frustrating. Tear-inducing. Stupid. Yes.
But they could and might..get worse. Its okay. We do hard things. My mom's always told me I'm her comfort child...I've never been naughty(I didn't say stubborn or pig-headed...just naughty :) and I've never caused trouble intentionally...and I generally like peaceful things. Today she confided in me that last night after her and dad left my house and had gotten settled at home that dad said, "what is wrong with Julie? Her life is one catastrophe after another lately!"
Can you believe he thinks that handing out smiley face stickers and checking receipts is going to change that? Well, by all means then dad, take one for the team!!!! Go. Team. Walmart.
See, yesterday in the midst of my 'under-water' experience in the basement, my dad would grumble something and my mom would burst out in hysterical fits of the giggles. Not knowing what was so funny about dad's complaints, or occassional cursings of me...and being a bit still in the middle of a pity party and not seeing alot of humor myself...I didn't even question what could be making mom laugh. Today she felt my emotional stability was enough such that I could know the truth.
After calling my dad yesterday morning bright and early, and quite simply stating, "Dad, I left the hose on all night. My basement is flooded. Can you bring in shop vacs and help?", this is what happened there....
Dad, having just been woken up from a good night's sleep...said "Denise, I think its time we get job's at Walmart. Not because we need the money. But I understand it now. We need a job there so we have an excuse to be busy from our kids' lives." :) Well, until I see his purdy little blue vest, I'm still calling him. And, just for the record, I can work my problems around his shift work.
I think what really bothers me is that I am a fairly non-dramatic person. I HATE when things are off schedule and un-routine. And my life has been non-stop drama and disaster lately. And I'm not complaining. I'm incredibly grateful. Because as stressed as I've been...I have a bit of perspective. I realize that these things are small bumps along the path. Annoying. Frustrating. Tear-inducing. Stupid. Yes.
But they could and might..get worse. Its okay. We do hard things. My mom's always told me I'm her comfort child...I've never been naughty(I didn't say stubborn or pig-headed...just naughty :) and I've never caused trouble intentionally...and I generally like peaceful things. Today she confided in me that last night after her and dad left my house and had gotten settled at home that dad said, "what is wrong with Julie? Her life is one catastrophe after another lately!"
Can you believe he thinks that handing out smiley face stickers and checking receipts is going to change that? Well, by all means then dad, take one for the team!!!! Go. Team. Walmart.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
A rainbow...
I almost forgot to write down one of my favorite moments of the week! Now that this week is finally wrapping up, and I am convinced that we're gonna survive it...I HAVE to record a brief moment of sunshine in my otherwise perfectly wild and a bit stressful week!
Wednesday morning I was headed to physical therapy for my back and my dad had agreed to watch Lady Lu for the hour. I dropped her off an my dad's and this was the morning after the big tumble. She was running a fever, had had a long night and was fussy. When she goes to chill with Papa usually its all grins and giggles. So...wasn't really expecting this. I lugged her upstairs to dad's office and handed over my package of cute whininess...and then was booking it downstairs to head out the door. Jerry(my 38 year old brother with down syndrome-who happens to be the funniest kid I know) had just drug his lazy bum out of bed and was standing at the bottom of the stairs rubbing his still very sleepy eyes. "Hey Ugly", he said to me. Its his little pet name for me. "Hey Chubs," I responded, very lovingly. He asked where I was headed and I said I was going to phsyical therapy. He got this wicked smirk and turned his chin up a bit and said, "I knew you needed therapy."
What do you say? I was entirely unprepared for his zing. I laughed the entire way to therapy...and some after! I love that kid. He is such a rainbow in our lives!!!
Wednesday morning I was headed to physical therapy for my back and my dad had agreed to watch Lady Lu for the hour. I dropped her off an my dad's and this was the morning after the big tumble. She was running a fever, had had a long night and was fussy. When she goes to chill with Papa usually its all grins and giggles. So...wasn't really expecting this. I lugged her upstairs to dad's office and handed over my package of cute whininess...and then was booking it downstairs to head out the door. Jerry(my 38 year old brother with down syndrome-who happens to be the funniest kid I know) had just drug his lazy bum out of bed and was standing at the bottom of the stairs rubbing his still very sleepy eyes. "Hey Ugly", he said to me. Its his little pet name for me. "Hey Chubs," I responded, very lovingly. He asked where I was headed and I said I was going to phsyical therapy. He got this wicked smirk and turned his chin up a bit and said, "I knew you needed therapy."
What do you say? I was entirely unprepared for his zing. I laughed the entire way to therapy...and some after! I love that kid. He is such a rainbow in our lives!!!
Nate just doesn't react well...
He doesn't. Or maybe its me. Either way, this was NOT the lazy Saturday morning I was giddy with anticipation for.
Landri has been pretty fussy for days after falling off the stage at the gym and hurting her hip/pelvis. She stumbled out of bed about 6:15 and stood there crying, waiting for me to come get her just like she has done the last 3 mornings. I was trying to get her to settle down in my bed so I could go on with my plan....to be wickedly lazy....ALL morning long....when the nagging thought hit me, 'I didn't shut the hose off yesterday from my flowerbed.' See, I'm kinda bad about watering my flowers so I was giving them a little flood-age to compensate for a few days drought. Turns out...it was alot of flood-age. Alot.
Nate went out and shut if off, then headed downstairs to check things out. When I heard, "what the hell Julie!"...I kinda guessed I was perhaps in trouble! I shocked even myself when I saw the basement. We're talking easily 3 inches of standing water, everywhere. So Nate headed upstairs to shower, because he was going to work. I grabbed the shop vac and went to work. This is a little difficult considering my back gives me grief! I don't know when Nate left. I do, however, remember the very hacked off expression he was making the one time I glanced over my shoulder at him. He was standing there in his work clothes with his arms folded. I 'kindly' told him he could go to work now...and he could do it silently. I worked a while before my parents arrived with their shop vacs and went to work. Bishop brought Oli and their vac and we had a crew of workers. Bishop also got the big commercial grade carpet cleaner from the church and I can't even guess how much water we've pulled out of my carpets. The storage rooms were easy peasy. Lots of water, but no damage. Halelujah for food storage in buckets and on shelfs!
Let me just say how incredibly grateful I am for my parents. Dad said next time I "planned" this I could count him out. They seriously worked their heinies off....and picked up my slack because they were stressing over my back. The. best. parents. ever.
Had I even the smallest sense of humor this morning I would have snapped pictures of Landri, who followed me downstairs the first time. She immediately went back upstairs and fetched her swimming suit. She was psyched! She's missed the swimming pool so bad! When she tired of playing alone, she got her barbies to join in her fun. Seriously....there was THAT much water! She splashed and giggled for about 30 minutes before her legs were numb.
My parents worked prettty much constantly for about 8 hours. They have now left me with the rented rug doctor vacume...and the strict admonition they will NOT be accepting sleep-over guests tonight. Not even if they bring their own swimming suits????
Pretty flowers are so overrated.
Landri has been pretty fussy for days after falling off the stage at the gym and hurting her hip/pelvis. She stumbled out of bed about 6:15 and stood there crying, waiting for me to come get her just like she has done the last 3 mornings. I was trying to get her to settle down in my bed so I could go on with my plan....to be wickedly lazy....ALL morning long....when the nagging thought hit me, 'I didn't shut the hose off yesterday from my flowerbed.' See, I'm kinda bad about watering my flowers so I was giving them a little flood-age to compensate for a few days drought. Turns out...it was alot of flood-age. Alot.
Nate went out and shut if off, then headed downstairs to check things out. When I heard, "what the hell Julie!"...I kinda guessed I was perhaps in trouble! I shocked even myself when I saw the basement. We're talking easily 3 inches of standing water, everywhere. So Nate headed upstairs to shower, because he was going to work. I grabbed the shop vac and went to work. This is a little difficult considering my back gives me grief! I don't know when Nate left. I do, however, remember the very hacked off expression he was making the one time I glanced over my shoulder at him. He was standing there in his work clothes with his arms folded. I 'kindly' told him he could go to work now...and he could do it silently. I worked a while before my parents arrived with their shop vacs and went to work. Bishop brought Oli and their vac and we had a crew of workers. Bishop also got the big commercial grade carpet cleaner from the church and I can't even guess how much water we've pulled out of my carpets. The storage rooms were easy peasy. Lots of water, but no damage. Halelujah for food storage in buckets and on shelfs!
Let me just say how incredibly grateful I am for my parents. Dad said next time I "planned" this I could count him out. They seriously worked their heinies off....and picked up my slack because they were stressing over my back. The. best. parents. ever.
Had I even the smallest sense of humor this morning I would have snapped pictures of Landri, who followed me downstairs the first time. She immediately went back upstairs and fetched her swimming suit. She was psyched! She's missed the swimming pool so bad! When she tired of playing alone, she got her barbies to join in her fun. Seriously....there was THAT much water! She splashed and giggled for about 30 minutes before her legs were numb.
My parents worked prettty much constantly for about 8 hours. They have now left me with the rented rug doctor vacume...and the strict admonition they will NOT be accepting sleep-over guests tonight. Not even if they bring their own swimming suits????
Pretty flowers are so overrated.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Not quite the reaction I expected...
Kenna is like my buddy. I tell her things she probably shouldn't "know" because she's like a vault. She'd never tell a secret. She's a very black and white kinda person. Things ARE one way or they're not. If her library book says the word 'hell', she comes to discuss it with me to see if she should continue reading it. I like to tease her she's my little molly mormon goody two-shoes. AND I WOULDN'T WANT HER ANY OTHER WAY!
This being said, she's also a snoop. She loves to 'find' out the details of things that are happening! So...she typically is in the know for who's getting what...and who's done what...and so on. Well, it just so happened that she knew too many details of Santa's list for this year. She'd seen EVERYTHING the big man was bringing Landri. And...because I'm exhausted at the idea of trying to come up with equally perfect/inexpensive presents to exchage these for...I copped out.
I started my conversation with, "Kenna, we need to have a conversation about Christmas." Panic immediately filled her big grey eyes and she got kinda watery and said(because like I said, I tell her more than she should know) "We're not having Christmas this year?" I busted out laughing. Come on. Money hardly grows on trees but we're not going without too much...
Me: Kenna. Seriously. Think about it. Who brings you the presents?
Kenna: (again, same panic face!) What? Santa isn't even coming?
Me: Kenna, who IS Santa?
Now, I realize that I could/should have let this fantasy play out as long as it could. But, she IS 11. I don't think her childhood will be too adversely affected by this revelation.
Kenna's eyes got HUGE. Which, if you know my Kenna...they already are! But then she kinda scowled at me and said, "YOU write my letters?" Yep. "YOU EAT THE COOKIES!" Yep. And, I chew up the carrots and spit them on the lawn like a reindeer would. At that she was a little grossed out.
I think she was more disappointed when she realized what this really meant: "Oh, I guess I won't ask Santa for a cell phone this year!"
There are some very enjoyable parts of this life. Kenna is defintely one of them!!!
This being said, she's also a snoop. She loves to 'find' out the details of things that are happening! So...she typically is in the know for who's getting what...and who's done what...and so on. Well, it just so happened that she knew too many details of Santa's list for this year. She'd seen EVERYTHING the big man was bringing Landri. And...because I'm exhausted at the idea of trying to come up with equally perfect/inexpensive presents to exchage these for...I copped out.
I started my conversation with, "Kenna, we need to have a conversation about Christmas." Panic immediately filled her big grey eyes and she got kinda watery and said(because like I said, I tell her more than she should know) "We're not having Christmas this year?" I busted out laughing. Come on. Money hardly grows on trees but we're not going without too much...
Me: Kenna. Seriously. Think about it. Who brings you the presents?
Kenna: (again, same panic face!) What? Santa isn't even coming?
Me: Kenna, who IS Santa?
Now, I realize that I could/should have let this fantasy play out as long as it could. But, she IS 11. I don't think her childhood will be too adversely affected by this revelation.
Kenna's eyes got HUGE. Which, if you know my Kenna...they already are! But then she kinda scowled at me and said, "YOU write my letters?" Yep. "YOU EAT THE COOKIES!" Yep. And, I chew up the carrots and spit them on the lawn like a reindeer would. At that she was a little grossed out.
I think she was more disappointed when she realized what this really meant: "Oh, I guess I won't ask Santa for a cell phone this year!"
There are some very enjoyable parts of this life. Kenna is defintely one of them!!!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Bull ring....
One of the things I fell in love with first about my husband were his sparkly GREEN eyes. If a person's eyes give anything away...if they are any indication of someone's energy and love of life...then Nate's eyes pretty much say it all! Well...those eyes I love so much are definitely not looking so hot right now. In fact, Nate's not looking so hot right now! :)
On Tuesday Nate spent his lunch hour playing hoops...co-ed hoops. And the females are of 2 varieties...young wanna-be WNBA'ers and those old enough to be my mom. Nate got head-butted by the latter. I was working and I got a text from him saying he'd broke his nose. Supposing him to be overly dramatic I sent him back one asking if he was crying...and, honestly, I love to tease. So I offered a bit more sympathy, and a LOT of giggles as he walked into the office with a towel covered in blood, and an already swollen nose. He said that his nose was way off to the side and he wrenched it back...three times...and swore IN THE CHURCH! (gasp :) Bishop Michelson came in shortly after the straightening....and was chuckling. So we're just assuming he heard Nate's battle cry!
Nate's eyes were glossy and he had a wicked headache, and was HUGELY irritable that night. Needless to say, he was sent to bed early, like all naughty children.
I made him go to the doctor yesterday morning because the bottom of his nose kinda hooked to the left. They x-rayed it and, duh, it was broke. We found out today it is broke in TWO places. So, they referred us to the ENT for immediate attention. However the ENT couldn't see us any time soon, so we were referred to an oral surgeon, which didn't exactly line up to me. But...I know this particular office very well...so, I called over and made sure we weren't going to end up getting a root canal. After being reassured that the 'maxillofacial' part of the title meant they do this regularly, I began the disaster of calling my insurance company to make sure we were covered. Litterally....three hours later....I had very little information other than this provider was in network for dental procedures, but not for medical. When I was told that he HAD to have the procedure within one week, and that the sooner the better...I decided we were going to go whether insurance paid at all. 3 hours after the procedure today we got confirmation they'd pay. Halelujah!!!
After an hour of examination today, they called me back to give me the choice: his airway was straight. We could leave it to heal or perform the surgery to straighten it. Nate was basically on his feet, thanking the doc on his way out! Ummmm, no. When he asked what I wanted him to do(I know very well what he wanted me to say) I said, 'sure Nate. I mean, I've let myself go. You might as well have a hook nose.' He still managed to miss my message. Or maybe he thinks I've really let myself go....Oh well. I decided on a more direct answer. Fix. His. Nose.
So here's the highlight: Nate is a light-weight with medicine. And he's a nervous wreck. And he's claustrophobic. When he was informed they'd be giving him his lights-out medicine intravenously, he was freaking out. So...laughing gas. Laughing gas is a beautiful thing. He breathed it in, and kept fidgeting with the mask because he said it was suffocating him...not even trying to suppress my laughing any more. After he inhaled the stuff for a couple minutes I asked if it was working, because I was semi-disappointed. He was just laying there with his eyes closed, insisting it wasn't. But the doc must have known that it was because he grabbed Nate's arm and flipped it over to get a look at the vein he'd be hunting for. He chuckled and made some comment about how ridiculously huge Nate's veins are....and for some reason, that was all it took. The flood gates broke. And my husband laughed for the next five minutes. Laughed til he cried. Til I cried. It was a laugh I've never heard before. Five minutes of complete hysterical cackling. He'd kinda try to suck it up and tell himself to stop, so he'd swallow it and then, bwaahhahaaa!!!! bust out laughing again.
Seriously...its been a long week. For many reasons. And I've been begging for a change of heart. Believe me when I said it came in the form of something I never expected!
I asked the doc if this was a normal reaction, to which he chuckled and informed me that, no, this was not normal. This was the best he'd ever seen. This was the stuff commercials were made of. Oh, no kidding! I wish to heck I'd have known how fun it would be because I'd have picked up my ipad and recorded the whole thing!
His eyes are really starting to bruise now. He's semi-high on oxy-codone. And I'm still laughing. In MY opinion this was a really good day....
Like his little bull ring? Its very, very, ugh....disgusting. But I love this man!
On Tuesday Nate spent his lunch hour playing hoops...co-ed hoops. And the females are of 2 varieties...young wanna-be WNBA'ers and those old enough to be my mom. Nate got head-butted by the latter. I was working and I got a text from him saying he'd broke his nose. Supposing him to be overly dramatic I sent him back one asking if he was crying...and, honestly, I love to tease. So I offered a bit more sympathy, and a LOT of giggles as he walked into the office with a towel covered in blood, and an already swollen nose. He said that his nose was way off to the side and he wrenched it back...three times...and swore IN THE CHURCH! (gasp :) Bishop Michelson came in shortly after the straightening....and was chuckling. So we're just assuming he heard Nate's battle cry!
Nate's eyes were glossy and he had a wicked headache, and was HUGELY irritable that night. Needless to say, he was sent to bed early, like all naughty children.
I made him go to the doctor yesterday morning because the bottom of his nose kinda hooked to the left. They x-rayed it and, duh, it was broke. We found out today it is broke in TWO places. So, they referred us to the ENT for immediate attention. However the ENT couldn't see us any time soon, so we were referred to an oral surgeon, which didn't exactly line up to me. But...I know this particular office very well...so, I called over and made sure we weren't going to end up getting a root canal. After being reassured that the 'maxillofacial' part of the title meant they do this regularly, I began the disaster of calling my insurance company to make sure we were covered. Litterally....three hours later....I had very little information other than this provider was in network for dental procedures, but not for medical. When I was told that he HAD to have the procedure within one week, and that the sooner the better...I decided we were going to go whether insurance paid at all. 3 hours after the procedure today we got confirmation they'd pay. Halelujah!!!
After an hour of examination today, they called me back to give me the choice: his airway was straight. We could leave it to heal or perform the surgery to straighten it. Nate was basically on his feet, thanking the doc on his way out! Ummmm, no. When he asked what I wanted him to do(I know very well what he wanted me to say) I said, 'sure Nate. I mean, I've let myself go. You might as well have a hook nose.' He still managed to miss my message. Or maybe he thinks I've really let myself go....Oh well. I decided on a more direct answer. Fix. His. Nose.
So here's the highlight: Nate is a light-weight with medicine. And he's a nervous wreck. And he's claustrophobic. When he was informed they'd be giving him his lights-out medicine intravenously, he was freaking out. So...laughing gas. Laughing gas is a beautiful thing. He breathed it in, and kept fidgeting with the mask because he said it was suffocating him...not even trying to suppress my laughing any more. After he inhaled the stuff for a couple minutes I asked if it was working, because I was semi-disappointed. He was just laying there with his eyes closed, insisting it wasn't. But the doc must have known that it was because he grabbed Nate's arm and flipped it over to get a look at the vein he'd be hunting for. He chuckled and made some comment about how ridiculously huge Nate's veins are....and for some reason, that was all it took. The flood gates broke. And my husband laughed for the next five minutes. Laughed til he cried. Til I cried. It was a laugh I've never heard before. Five minutes of complete hysterical cackling. He'd kinda try to suck it up and tell himself to stop, so he'd swallow it and then, bwaahhahaaa!!!! bust out laughing again.
Seriously...its been a long week. For many reasons. And I've been begging for a change of heart. Believe me when I said it came in the form of something I never expected!
I asked the doc if this was a normal reaction, to which he chuckled and informed me that, no, this was not normal. This was the best he'd ever seen. This was the stuff commercials were made of. Oh, no kidding! I wish to heck I'd have known how fun it would be because I'd have picked up my ipad and recorded the whole thing!
His eyes are really starting to bruise now. He's semi-high on oxy-codone. And I'm still laughing. In MY opinion this was a really good day....
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Hutterite for a day...
Well, a few hours!
Today we got up early and headed to Cut Bank for Kolbe's first Junior High football game. It was SO fun! My Bo is getting to be so grown up. I have especially enjoyed the last few weeks with him, as he's been fun to laugh and tease with. Parts of this phase, the 'teenager', scare me to pieces, so its nice to enjoy it! Its amazing how much a year can do for a boy. He's grown SO much...and he was a different kid out there today! He had some AMAZING hits, and some good runs...and, one that was entirely in the wrong direction. But...Nate and I agreed that watching him in sports is going to be a fun ride. Not because he's going to be all-American. But, it is going to be enjoyable.
On the way home we decided to drop by our friend Sam Wipf's...our hutterite friend! This man has always been SO good to our family. And we thoroughly enjoy him and his sweet wife. So, he's been asking us to come and see the colony for a while. We did this last year too...but today there was NO door closed to us. He love love loves the kids...especially Landri. So he scoops her up into his arms at every chance. Sometimes she squirms out and whines...and others she scrunches up her nose and gives a cheesey smile, letting him love on her! Its so cute! He walked us first to the turkey barn...eh, okay. Then we headed into the milking parlor. Holy batman! So amazingly hi-tech! There are six cows on both sides of the room, with an aisle down the middle. They all push in, then stand in their places while they are cleaned and prepared..then hooked to the electric pumps. The pumps monitor how much milk has been pumped by this cow, both for its earlier milking in the day and its current milking. The kids were totally fascinated, and we watched two sets be milked. The system automatically back-washes itself with disinfectant in between cows...Next we headed into the barns where the bigger calves were. They were about 4-5 months old...and I couldn't believe their similarity to a puppy! They loved attention...and were fighting to get their heads through the grates to be petted...and would lick your hands. Yuck...but fun! And so clean. I was amazed. Then we went to the barn where the baby calves were. One was just born in the middle of the night. Again...pretty much glorified puppies! Landri was a little more comfortable with this size of cow and walked right up to the stahl, only to have the excited calf pop its head right through for some attention and knock her end over end! Sooooo funny! We had a good laugh, and she hid back a bit...until she saw the next cute calf in the next stahl! From there we toured the machinist shops, which were slightly less interesting to the kids but incredible for Nate and I. So impressed with the cleanliness of everthing! We saw all of Sam's secret stashes of paint/laquer and supplies tucked in this closet and that throughout the colony. And every strange store room had a fridge, stocked with???? BEER! :) We saw the feed rooms, the fertilizer shop, and the cement shop. And because our children are truly spoiled...and live a life of leisure...Avery was giddy when she saw the large square pond off behind the pig barn, certain that was where they swim. Um. No. Sam cringed and carefully explained it was 'human....waste.' Ewwww. I don't think Aves figured out what he was talking about! The last stop, and I think favorite of the kids on the tour, was the pig barn. So stinky! But there were babies, 2 days old, nursing on their moms...and squealing! Man...it was noisy! So of course Eli leaned in to get a good look and the momma, being a bit protective, popped up her big ugly head and snorted at him! I think he had a heart attack! He jumped a good foot in the air! I was bent over laughing so hard...we didn't stay long in there, as Sam warned us the stench would quickly overtake our clothes and skin. It was a no brainer...I didn't want to smell like that! We stopped by Sam's home and visited with his two daughters and wife. His wife is the sweetest thing! She also loved the children, but couldn't get enough of Landri. She would take her face in her hands, rub her cheeks over and over again...desperate to snuggle her. Lu wasn't entirely cooperative, though she did offer up one hug and many smiles and giggles for her.
As we loaded the vehicle with a HUGE box of pork steaks...and varied other pork cuts...as well as the huge box of produce he let us 'shop' out of their big refridgerated shop...we were touched and grateful that he was our friend. Not because he gives us things. That is a perk, sure. But he is a genuinely kind man. He inspected our tires, worried that they are in desperate need of replacement. He urged us to drive very slowly on the gravel...so as to make sure out tires were okay. He told us to love our little family...said we are blessed...and cautioned us about the trying times to come as our little ones grow.
It is amazing to me to see this 'people' as just people. They are no different than me. Sure, they speak a different language, wear distinguishing clothing...but they are often misconceived, misunderstood and judged for their lifestyle. And really, its their faith. And that is something I can understand. I think my faith is misconceived and misunderstood. I might blend in a little easier...but I envy the quietness and simpleness of their life. No way of life is without sorrow...children stray...and there are health issues and struggles that plague us the same.
It was seriously SUCH a fun day. I left feeling such an immense grattitude to my Heavenly Father for good people.
Nate unloaded all the goodies when we got home and as he passed me in the kitchen he said, "Sam worries about us." Huh? "Well, he worries about knowing we have a big family and knowing how expensive things are. He likes helping us." While we are in no means going without...or in need....I felt the love of my Heavenly Father today through this good man. And my children are all convinced they could easily adapt to Hutterite life.
Today we got up early and headed to Cut Bank for Kolbe's first Junior High football game. It was SO fun! My Bo is getting to be so grown up. I have especially enjoyed the last few weeks with him, as he's been fun to laugh and tease with. Parts of this phase, the 'teenager', scare me to pieces, so its nice to enjoy it! Its amazing how much a year can do for a boy. He's grown SO much...and he was a different kid out there today! He had some AMAZING hits, and some good runs...and, one that was entirely in the wrong direction. But...Nate and I agreed that watching him in sports is going to be a fun ride. Not because he's going to be all-American. But, it is going to be enjoyable.
On the way home we decided to drop by our friend Sam Wipf's...our hutterite friend! This man has always been SO good to our family. And we thoroughly enjoy him and his sweet wife. So, he's been asking us to come and see the colony for a while. We did this last year too...but today there was NO door closed to us. He love love loves the kids...especially Landri. So he scoops her up into his arms at every chance. Sometimes she squirms out and whines...and others she scrunches up her nose and gives a cheesey smile, letting him love on her! Its so cute! He walked us first to the turkey barn...eh, okay. Then we headed into the milking parlor. Holy batman! So amazingly hi-tech! There are six cows on both sides of the room, with an aisle down the middle. They all push in, then stand in their places while they are cleaned and prepared..then hooked to the electric pumps. The pumps monitor how much milk has been pumped by this cow, both for its earlier milking in the day and its current milking. The kids were totally fascinated, and we watched two sets be milked. The system automatically back-washes itself with disinfectant in between cows...Next we headed into the barns where the bigger calves were. They were about 4-5 months old...and I couldn't believe their similarity to a puppy! They loved attention...and were fighting to get their heads through the grates to be petted...and would lick your hands. Yuck...but fun! And so clean. I was amazed. Then we went to the barn where the baby calves were. One was just born in the middle of the night. Again...pretty much glorified puppies! Landri was a little more comfortable with this size of cow and walked right up to the stahl, only to have the excited calf pop its head right through for some attention and knock her end over end! Sooooo funny! We had a good laugh, and she hid back a bit...until she saw the next cute calf in the next stahl! From there we toured the machinist shops, which were slightly less interesting to the kids but incredible for Nate and I. So impressed with the cleanliness of everthing! We saw all of Sam's secret stashes of paint/laquer and supplies tucked in this closet and that throughout the colony. And every strange store room had a fridge, stocked with???? BEER! :) We saw the feed rooms, the fertilizer shop, and the cement shop. And because our children are truly spoiled...and live a life of leisure...Avery was giddy when she saw the large square pond off behind the pig barn, certain that was where they swim. Um. No. Sam cringed and carefully explained it was 'human....waste.' Ewwww. I don't think Aves figured out what he was talking about! The last stop, and I think favorite of the kids on the tour, was the pig barn. So stinky! But there were babies, 2 days old, nursing on their moms...and squealing! Man...it was noisy! So of course Eli leaned in to get a good look and the momma, being a bit protective, popped up her big ugly head and snorted at him! I think he had a heart attack! He jumped a good foot in the air! I was bent over laughing so hard...we didn't stay long in there, as Sam warned us the stench would quickly overtake our clothes and skin. It was a no brainer...I didn't want to smell like that! We stopped by Sam's home and visited with his two daughters and wife. His wife is the sweetest thing! She also loved the children, but couldn't get enough of Landri. She would take her face in her hands, rub her cheeks over and over again...desperate to snuggle her. Lu wasn't entirely cooperative, though she did offer up one hug and many smiles and giggles for her.
As we loaded the vehicle with a HUGE box of pork steaks...and varied other pork cuts...as well as the huge box of produce he let us 'shop' out of their big refridgerated shop...we were touched and grateful that he was our friend. Not because he gives us things. That is a perk, sure. But he is a genuinely kind man. He inspected our tires, worried that they are in desperate need of replacement. He urged us to drive very slowly on the gravel...so as to make sure out tires were okay. He told us to love our little family...said we are blessed...and cautioned us about the trying times to come as our little ones grow.
It is amazing to me to see this 'people' as just people. They are no different than me. Sure, they speak a different language, wear distinguishing clothing...but they are often misconceived, misunderstood and judged for their lifestyle. And really, its their faith. And that is something I can understand. I think my faith is misconceived and misunderstood. I might blend in a little easier...but I envy the quietness and simpleness of their life. No way of life is without sorrow...children stray...and there are health issues and struggles that plague us the same.
It was seriously SUCH a fun day. I left feeling such an immense grattitude to my Heavenly Father for good people.
Nate unloaded all the goodies when we got home and as he passed me in the kitchen he said, "Sam worries about us." Huh? "Well, he worries about knowing we have a big family and knowing how expensive things are. He likes helping us." While we are in no means going without...or in need....I felt the love of my Heavenly Father today through this good man. And my children are all convinced they could easily adapt to Hutterite life.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Quiet...
I have been waiting for this day, perhaps a bit too excitedly, for the last month! About the 2nd week of August my kids kinda tuckered out on summer break and when the pool closed they decided their only option for entertainment became the art of annoying one another. And, it didn't take them long to really hone in on their skills. So it wasn't really a secret that mom was ready for school to begin. I'm eager for routine bedtimes...tired, happy kids. I LOVE time with just Landri. She's either color blind or severely neglected...so, we need a little time together!
This morning started fairly early. That's one perk of the first few weeks of school: its still a novelty and they're excited to go...to wear new clothes forbidden them the last month...play sports and hang out with buddies. So, somehow we managed to have everyone, except Lu, up and showered and ready by 7:15 today. And then began the struggle to keep them contained until 8!
After pictures and morning prayer, Lu lugged her big backpak along as we walked them all to school. We managed to keep up with no one! But, I did find each of them for one quick kiss and hug. Its fun to see them in their element.
When we came home and closed the door Landri asked, "mom, Eli???" . When I told her he was going to school she said, "I cry!" She then laid on the floor and cried. That made me tear up a bit too~ she 'want HOME!' her brothers and sisters! It will be a quiet morning.
And, I'm entirely looking forward to it. My house is spotless..my cars are spotless(well, on the inside) and I have play dough and HGTV. Gonna be a good day!
This morning started fairly early. That's one perk of the first few weeks of school: its still a novelty and they're excited to go...to wear new clothes forbidden them the last month...play sports and hang out with buddies. So, somehow we managed to have everyone, except Lu, up and showered and ready by 7:15 today. And then began the struggle to keep them contained until 8!
After pictures and morning prayer, Lu lugged her big backpak along as we walked them all to school. We managed to keep up with no one! But, I did find each of them for one quick kiss and hug. Its fun to see them in their element.
When we came home and closed the door Landri asked, "mom, Eli???" . When I told her he was going to school she said, "I cry!" She then laid on the floor and cried. That made me tear up a bit too~ she 'want HOME!' her brothers and sisters! It will be a quiet morning.
And, I'm entirely looking forward to it. My house is spotless..my cars are spotless(well, on the inside) and I have play dough and HGTV. Gonna be a good day!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Chronicling today...
This morning didn't exactly start out like any other. I woke up early and fought against myself to get back asleep. I had several promptings that I should get up. I even knew it involved Landri. But I am an idiot.
So, I finally got up about 6:45 and walked by her room, noticing she wasn't there. Hmmmm. Weird, I thought. She always gets in bed with us! So I came downstairs and noticed the door to the garage was wide open. So, I flew outside...in my skippies...yelling her name. Nothing. I booked it back in the house and upstairs to throw some clothes on and get Nate. The two of us headed in opposite directions. I screamed her name and was getting pretty frantic. By the end of the alley, her usual escape route, I was bordering hysterical. Taking a quick sec to offer a desperate prayer...I headed around the block. At this time of morning the town is perfectly quiet. And I was having no luck finding her! I headed back to the house and woke Kolbe and Kenna to help search. Grabbing the phone I jumped in Nate's car to search faster. I'm not so afraid of the people here as I am her innocence to the danger of a car...backing up, or being unseen. I can't even describe the sheer panic I was feeling.
I had dialed my mom...when the thought came to me that I should call 911. AGH! That thought immediately increased my anxiety! 911 is never good news, right? So I hung up, and dialed 911. The operator had to walk me thru my name multiple times...hearing my frantic screams that my baby was gone! After gettting my name, he asked where I was. When I told him Fairfield he asked me if my daughter had blonde hair! I thought I was going to throw up. That meant someone had called in something...like, she was probably run over or hurt...After a few 'mam, calm down' moments...he said he knew where my daughter was. He could have the deputy bring her to me. Nope! Where was she? I'll get her myself! So, he gave me the address and I headed right over. I expected to find Landri at least particially as upset as I was! She is a mama's girl...But as I came in the house I found her sitting at the kitchen table, smiling from ear to ear, just chilling with her new friend. Apparently, this woman had seen her walking down the middle of the street( 3 blocks north of our house) before 6:45 this morning and thought she must be cold in her little jammie gown....and obviously lost. So she took her in and called 911 herself. I was pretty much a wreck at this point, but at least I knew she was okay. Nate didn't. Nor did the other kids who were out looking. So we headed out in search of them. I found my sweet Kolbe standing in the middle of the street about 2 blocks from home just weeping. SUCH relief in his face when he saw her! Then I chased down Kenna on her bike. She said she had offered 'several prayers' that we'd find her safe. I had just pulled up to the house when Nate came home on his bike. Landri, still smiling, hopped into his arms. She only knew everyone was crying...and so she proceeded to lather her dad in kisses! Wowza. Not a perfect start to the day....but a perfect answer to our prayers!!!
When we got home from church, Louie was playing in the living room with Kenna and Avery while I cooked. It was a little crazy! Right after asking them to tone it down a bit, I heard a huge clank. I hurried in to see both Kenna and Avery frozen, staring toward the end table that Landri had just cleared. It had my scentsy pot on it, filled with melted candle wax. It is currently waiting for me to clean still....two hours later. My steam cleaner is on, but I'm avoiding it for now. On a high note, my main floor smells incredibly tangerine.
As I initially assessed the damage of the mess, I very impatiently kicked the girls out of the living room. I was pulling the end table out to get to the mess and Landri yelled from the landing, "hi mom!" And just like that, she dropped the toilet paper over the edge, holding on to the end! First of all, how did she even know to do that?
I am pretty sure I'm paying a small payment in reminder that just this week I was pretty overwhelmed by her cute, snuggliness and had posted something about 'loving everything about this phase and wishing to have a 2 year old forever.'
Well, I DO love her. And she should be thankful for that...or else today could be very different :)
So, I finally got up about 6:45 and walked by her room, noticing she wasn't there. Hmmmm. Weird, I thought. She always gets in bed with us! So I came downstairs and noticed the door to the garage was wide open. So, I flew outside...in my skippies...yelling her name. Nothing. I booked it back in the house and upstairs to throw some clothes on and get Nate. The two of us headed in opposite directions. I screamed her name and was getting pretty frantic. By the end of the alley, her usual escape route, I was bordering hysterical. Taking a quick sec to offer a desperate prayer...I headed around the block. At this time of morning the town is perfectly quiet. And I was having no luck finding her! I headed back to the house and woke Kolbe and Kenna to help search. Grabbing the phone I jumped in Nate's car to search faster. I'm not so afraid of the people here as I am her innocence to the danger of a car...backing up, or being unseen. I can't even describe the sheer panic I was feeling.
I had dialed my mom...when the thought came to me that I should call 911. AGH! That thought immediately increased my anxiety! 911 is never good news, right? So I hung up, and dialed 911. The operator had to walk me thru my name multiple times...hearing my frantic screams that my baby was gone! After gettting my name, he asked where I was. When I told him Fairfield he asked me if my daughter had blonde hair! I thought I was going to throw up. That meant someone had called in something...like, she was probably run over or hurt...After a few 'mam, calm down' moments...he said he knew where my daughter was. He could have the deputy bring her to me. Nope! Where was she? I'll get her myself! So, he gave me the address and I headed right over. I expected to find Landri at least particially as upset as I was! She is a mama's girl...But as I came in the house I found her sitting at the kitchen table, smiling from ear to ear, just chilling with her new friend. Apparently, this woman had seen her walking down the middle of the street( 3 blocks north of our house) before 6:45 this morning and thought she must be cold in her little jammie gown....and obviously lost. So she took her in and called 911 herself. I was pretty much a wreck at this point, but at least I knew she was okay. Nate didn't. Nor did the other kids who were out looking. So we headed out in search of them. I found my sweet Kolbe standing in the middle of the street about 2 blocks from home just weeping. SUCH relief in his face when he saw her! Then I chased down Kenna on her bike. She said she had offered 'several prayers' that we'd find her safe. I had just pulled up to the house when Nate came home on his bike. Landri, still smiling, hopped into his arms. She only knew everyone was crying...and so she proceeded to lather her dad in kisses! Wowza. Not a perfect start to the day....but a perfect answer to our prayers!!!
When we got home from church, Louie was playing in the living room with Kenna and Avery while I cooked. It was a little crazy! Right after asking them to tone it down a bit, I heard a huge clank. I hurried in to see both Kenna and Avery frozen, staring toward the end table that Landri had just cleared. It had my scentsy pot on it, filled with melted candle wax. It is currently waiting for me to clean still....two hours later. My steam cleaner is on, but I'm avoiding it for now. On a high note, my main floor smells incredibly tangerine.
As I initially assessed the damage of the mess, I very impatiently kicked the girls out of the living room. I was pulling the end table out to get to the mess and Landri yelled from the landing, "hi mom!" And just like that, she dropped the toilet paper over the edge, holding on to the end! First of all, how did she even know to do that?
I am pretty sure I'm paying a small payment in reminder that just this week I was pretty overwhelmed by her cute, snuggliness and had posted something about 'loving everything about this phase and wishing to have a 2 year old forever.'
Well, I DO love her. And she should be thankful for that...or else today could be very different :)
I am glad for many things...many things today!
I wanted to take a quick second and record a few of the highlights of my Garage Sale weekend....
1. My girlfriend Keri donated two little potty-training toilets to my garage sale. During each day this past week when I worked out there sorting things, Landri broke those two things IN. It was funny. I hate those things! I've never used one to potty train because the idea of having 'potty' just sitting around in my kitchen...or living room, pretty much sicks me out. I've always trained my kiddos on the big toilet. So Friday morning about 11 am my girlies Jen Schenk and Heather Drishinski showed up to start arranging the sale outside. It took WAY longer than I thought! And, we were shopped all day too! It was fine; who cares when it sells, just as long as it does, right? My kids were troopers. They played in the garage and backyard all day. Landri was there with us the whole time...It wasn't until about 4 o'clock, and 10 shoppers later...that one of us walked by the rows of kid stuff and noticed Lu had used the potty chair. So...there it sat! GROSS.
2. When the first toilet chair was picked up to be purchased, Lu happened to be standing close by. She tried to fight the lady for it. Nice. Realizing she may have lost that battle, Landri huffed it over to the last potty chair, dropped her britches and sat down. Staking her territory so to speak. Did I mention it was garage sale? With lots of people? My mom saw her and scooped her up, panties around her ankles and all, and carried the very unhappy pottier into the house. Gratefully, both toilets sold....empty.
3. Landri loves other people's clothes. Namely Avery's. And because Avery is the sweetest kid alive...Landri has claimed the right to demand that she strip and give her the outfit she's wearing if, when walking by, she decides that she likes what Avery's wearing. We have discussed this Avery. Yesterday after the movie we needed a few things at Target. I trotted across the parking lot with Landri...as we got to the doors, this little family walked out with a little girl slightly older than her. She happened to be wearing a cute little dress. Landri stopped dead in her tracks and said, 'Ohhhhhh. T-u-ooot dress! I want it!' I started laughing and told her, " Landri, its her dress. She's wearing it. You can't have it." 'WHAAAAAT?' she said. I thought the cute little lady following us in was going to die of laughter. Imagine. Someone told her no!!!?!!!
4. After neglecting my children badly this week, I announced yesterday that we were going to the movies! Perhaps it was really because I wanted to avoid cooking dinner. I'll never tell. Jerry had just walked in the door so he decided to tag along. My children are naughty in the car. Always. And, Jerry feels it is part of his responsibility to parent them.We headed to Taco Hell for dinner. We pulled in and Jerry announced that he'd like to say something. He turned around, and said, "okay guys, we need to behave in here. No fighting and being wild. Its important to us." Perfectly said Jer. Of course Nate and I were chuckling...and the kids were a little less impressed.
1. My girlfriend Keri donated two little potty-training toilets to my garage sale. During each day this past week when I worked out there sorting things, Landri broke those two things IN. It was funny. I hate those things! I've never used one to potty train because the idea of having 'potty' just sitting around in my kitchen...or living room, pretty much sicks me out. I've always trained my kiddos on the big toilet. So Friday morning about 11 am my girlies Jen Schenk and Heather Drishinski showed up to start arranging the sale outside. It took WAY longer than I thought! And, we were shopped all day too! It was fine; who cares when it sells, just as long as it does, right? My kids were troopers. They played in the garage and backyard all day. Landri was there with us the whole time...It wasn't until about 4 o'clock, and 10 shoppers later...that one of us walked by the rows of kid stuff and noticed Lu had used the potty chair. So...there it sat! GROSS.
2. When the first toilet chair was picked up to be purchased, Lu happened to be standing close by. She tried to fight the lady for it. Nice. Realizing she may have lost that battle, Landri huffed it over to the last potty chair, dropped her britches and sat down. Staking her territory so to speak. Did I mention it was garage sale? With lots of people? My mom saw her and scooped her up, panties around her ankles and all, and carried the very unhappy pottier into the house. Gratefully, both toilets sold....empty.
3. Landri loves other people's clothes. Namely Avery's. And because Avery is the sweetest kid alive...Landri has claimed the right to demand that she strip and give her the outfit she's wearing if, when walking by, she decides that she likes what Avery's wearing. We have discussed this Avery. Yesterday after the movie we needed a few things at Target. I trotted across the parking lot with Landri...as we got to the doors, this little family walked out with a little girl slightly older than her. She happened to be wearing a cute little dress. Landri stopped dead in her tracks and said, 'Ohhhhhh. T-u-ooot dress! I want it!' I started laughing and told her, " Landri, its her dress. She's wearing it. You can't have it." 'WHAAAAAT?' she said. I thought the cute little lady following us in was going to die of laughter. Imagine. Someone told her no!!!?!!!
4. After neglecting my children badly this week, I announced yesterday that we were going to the movies! Perhaps it was really because I wanted to avoid cooking dinner. I'll never tell. Jerry had just walked in the door so he decided to tag along. My children are naughty in the car. Always. And, Jerry feels it is part of his responsibility to parent them.We headed to Taco Hell for dinner. We pulled in and Jerry announced that he'd like to say something. He turned around, and said, "okay guys, we need to behave in here. No fighting and being wild. Its important to us." Perfectly said Jer. Of course Nate and I were chuckling...and the kids were a little less impressed.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
It don't take much....
The silliest things make me happy. I know. But, I'm a pretty easy girl to please. So, I'm almost giddy to report that operation:Christmas is well underway. Usually the big man brings 2 gifts per kiddo, and we do two. But...seriously, its usually one good gift from each...and one very inexpensive filler gift. I don't know very many people who can knock off Christmas for less than we do. And because I'm the queen of all things cheap, my kids feel like they've been spoiled rotten! So...imagine my sheer giddiness to report that Landri has TWO gifts...one cost me 25 bucks, the other will cost me about 10 in supplies to doll up...and her other presents will be small and cheap. Holla! Kenna's gonna be tough this year...not even any ideas. Kolbe has one thing on the way, which is his BIG one. But again, I scored it at HALF its going price. We plan to put all our travel expenses on our Scheels card and pay it off, so we'll use our free gift card money to buy his other main gift and smaller filler ones, plus the one thing I can think of for Kenna, for FREE! So, we're basically covered for Bo. Avery got her main big man gift ordered today, but I'm at a loss for her too. They are so hard when they get bigger! Ordered Eli's main gift today....for, watch for it...a THIRD the normal price. So. See why I feel like skipping? I might even pull off a record LOW people. (which would be good, all things considered...)
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