When it rains...

I am not a complainer. Unless your name is Holly or Denise. And you can't comment here. Otherwise, I'm not. But I suppose in honesty I did start this blog as my journal-so to speak. And while I'd love to pretend I lead that perfect, always sunshine and gumdrops kinda life, I don't. I'm a little bothered by the people who pretend to have that life, and stand in judgement of me and my life. Because right now, it is POURING.

If life isn't stressful enough, you should adopt. The paperwork is endless. Sometimes you fill out the same piece of information 1000x times because perhaps someone was curious how many different ways you could request the same information. And financially, its brilliant. When you live the perfect life, however, its still essentially paycheck to paycheck, there is no smarter move to drop $35,000 in the process. There's nothing I love more than the question, "are you really doing this?".  I think we covered that. Yes, we are!

I work part time. Its been pretty much the perfect part time gig. I do it for a few reasons. Because it allows a little less stress on our budget, and allows my children some extras, like piano. Its not so we can vacation. Or pay for my tummy tuck(which, I would SO do if I could). Its maybe not a necessity. We could live on Nate's salary. But it helps! And, it gives my brain a chance to stretch. And, since my body isn't doing any workouts...its nice for my brain to.

But I feel this huge huge tug of war. What is enough? Is it good enough to work part time? Do my children suffer? Are those of you who stay home full time better at this life than I am? Because  I can't even begin to explain how bothered I am by this whole feeling. Its like a mix of inadequacy, anger over being judged, sadness, and complete frustration. No matter what I do I can't seem to win.

In my perfect world I wouldn't work. At all. I'd wear sweats ALL day. Make cookies, alot. Happily, Richard Scary's Apple Book would be even more worn than it is....there's nothing that sounds more ideal to me. But life isn't ideal. And I'm happy with that. So where do people get off? What qualifies YOU to judge me? Or make my life difficult?

Walk a day in my shoes. Its a good life. And you might even find yourself ENVIOUS!!!

Love her....

Avery is the sweetest child ever born. But I know that she's not always as happy as she puts out. And that part breaks my heart. Because she is kind to everyone, never gets involved in drama, and with the exception of her painfully screechy voice...she's PERFECT. And, she's hysterically funny. The things she says...

I always listen to church music...always. The kids are a little annoyed with me. But it soothes me. And anything else has the same effect as if the kids themselves had volume buttons, and by turning up the music, you turned up them as well. So, church music it is. Yesterday I was listening to the old seminary disc for the New Testament. Avery was singing along and all of a sudden her big old chocolate eyes got big and she started giggling. I noticed but didn't say anything and then she says, 'MOM! Did you hear that? 'Come unto Hell?' I mean, why would they want that? For us to come to hell?"

Well.....'THEY' don't. And the song is "Come Unto HIM." . "Oh." she says. Not nearly as funny she thinks....

New blog

I started a new blog to help chart/promote/advertise our fundraising efforts to bring home our sweet girl.

It can be found here:

www.thepitchersadoption.blogspot.com


PAY ATTENTION: its about to get good....