Thursday, April 19, 2012

The family is eternal in nature


If you've stumbled upon my blog and don't really know me, I'll apologize now :) I'm a very emotional person. There isn't alot of "grey" with me, and I usually wear that pretty clearly on my sleeve.  I am a mother of six(I LOVE how that sounds), with five biological children and one that is currently ALL the way across the world waiting for us to be approved to bring her home! I'm m.a.d.l.y. in love with my husband, who's 1000x better today than he was the day I married him. My children are perfect. Yep, you heard me: perfect. At least for me. Because I have lessons I'd not learn any other way than by being their mom. And there are days that I cry myself to sleep because they've been so long and so hard...and the task of being a wife and mother is overwhelming. Not overwhelming in the sense I'm borderline nutzo...and require padded walls.(But, sometimes I dream of them!) Overwhelming because I KNOW that those two responsibilities and priviledges are of huge consequence and blessing to me eternally.
And, I'm LDS. AND...this is my blog, so I can shout it from the roof top: I AM a Christian!!!!! Within our church there is no paid clergy. Everyone does their time in certain assignments given by the Bishop, our local leader, as he feels impressed by revelation. Currently my husband is the YM President, which he's been for the last 11+ years, and I'm the Primary President; which means he deals with all the 12-18 year old boys, and me, all the children from age 18 months to 12 years. Its awesome, and we both love where we serve. The members of our church are kind of on rotation to speak in Sacrament, our main worship meeting. This Sunday its us. So...if you are curious to learn what we believe about the family, I've attatched the talk I prepared. Its long...Happy reading!

I was asked to talk on something I hold as one of my greatest treasures. It has been incredibly difficult to organize my thoughts on this topic because there is almost nothing of greater importance to me. I have born my testimony to my children countless times that there are only 2 things in this life that I care for…two things I would sacrifice anything and everything for. The first is my personal testimony of the Savior, and of this great gospel and a Merciful Father who will allow me to return back to Him. The second is my family.  And then, I always testify to them how these two treasures are critically connected to one another. 

I was asked to talk today about the eternal nature of our family.  There are some lyrics of a song that is written by an LDS composer that say: “Has the world ever been so confused? There’s so much deception, so much untruth. Does anyone stand for anything anymore?” As I have prepared for this talk, I am most convinced that the truths about the importance of this most basic, simple and essential unit, the FAMILY, are so very distorted today.  I testify that the eternal nature of the family is one of the purest truths of this gospel. And it is for this reason alone that there is so much effort to erase what we know about our premortal beginnings..our mortal life…and our eternal potential.

The family is the most important social unit on the earth. It is also the basic and most important unit in heaven.  The doctrine of the family begins with heavenly parents. We are God’s children. We lived with him before we came to earth. We knew and worshipped God as our Eternal Father, and gladly accepted his plan that would allow us to come to earth, obtain a physical body, and then gain the earthly experiences that would progress us toward perfection and our eternal destiny as an heir of eternal life.

From the earliest beginnings, God established the family, and made it eternal. Moses 5:59 teaches us that Adam and Eve were sealed in marriage for time and all eternity.

The Savior spoke of this sacred marriage covenant and promise when He gave the authority to his disciples to bind in heaven sacred covenants made on earth. Mat 16:19

In our day, the promise of eternal families was restored in 1829 when the powers of the Melchizedek Priesthood were restored on earth. In the Kirtland temple, seven years later, the keys to perform the sealing ordinances were restored…

The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make It possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

What is the promise of these sealings which are performed in temples? The lord outlines the promise and requirements in this sacred verse:  D & C 132:19

As taught in this scripture, an eternal bond doesn’t just happen as a result of the sealing covenant we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in the eternities. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in a way that our families will WANT to be sealed to us for all eternity.  

When Kolbe was about 5, he and Kenna,3, had some squabble, which I can’t even recall the details to. But I do remember that Kenna was at fault! And that Kolbe was really mad at her! After banishing the guilty one to her room for a little reflection time…I remember sitting on the bed with Kolbe. He was always really smart, and very spiritual for his age. So I seized this opportunity to talk with him about the gospel plan at large…and how forgiveness worked into it…and how he HAD to forgive Kenna because ultimately she was his sister, and we were a forever family. Well, it didn’t take long for him to put those truths to 5 year old logic. He crossed his arms with a huff and pronounced, “well…..I’d rather live in hell for eternity than be sealed to HER!” Obviously a little dramatic…but it reminds us often that we are a family forever, and that no matter what we do we need to remember that, and act accordingly.

The family relationships we have on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all of eternity.

It is by divine commandment that spouses are required to love each other above all others. D&C 42:22

The Family: The Proclamation to the World reads ‘that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God, and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.’ It then teaches that we are created in the image of God, our Eternal Father, and that we each have an eternal identity and purpose.

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and their children. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness.”

The divine privilege of raising our children is a much greater responsibility than we can do alone, without the Lord’s help. He knows exactly what our children need to know, do, and what they need to  be to come back into His presence. We are entitled to specific instruction through prayer, scripture and revelation for our families.

We are to teach our children to understand the doctrine. When my brother Brad had just returned from his mission…we were getting ready to bless our newest baby, Eli. He said something to me that I’ve never forgotten. He told me to make sure that no matter what I did in raising these kids…to make sure I didn’t just talk about the church, but that I instilled it into who they were. They can’t be expected to make the choices coherent with the plan of happiness if they don’t understand what benefit those choices will provide them.

Jeffery R. Holland said, “we all understand that the success of the gospel message depends on its being taught, and then understood, and then lived in such a way that its promise of happiness and salvation can be realized.”

Have you ever just read the words to the favorite primary song “I am A Child of God”?

                I am a child of God. And he has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home with parents kin and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday.



The world is SO confused. But Satan’s not. He knows why we are here and how absolutely critical the family is to our eternal progression. Consider some of the ways that family is under attack:

Divorce, cohabitation, abuse, homosexuality, abortion, teen pregnancy, pornography, disobedient children, economic struggles that distort our roles, the idea that a woman deserves her glory in the world rather than at home, large families are a thing of the past…

So what do we do?

DECIDE TO PLAN FOR SUCCESS! Not failure. Statistics are not in our favor! They would try and convince us that a family composed of a loving father and mother, with children taught and cared for in the way that the Proclamation enjoins is an extinct tradition. We have enough evidence in our own families to know that righteous people sometimes have their families ripped apart by circumstances beyond our control. It takes courage and faith to plan for what God holds before us as the ideal…rather than what might be forced upon us by circumstance. If we plan for success…we will work toward that end.

In this recent conference, President Monson encouraged us not to wait for a moment of ‘clarity’…or a life changing event…before we prioritize our lives. Some life events are so startling we are forced to rethink our priorities, and determine what things are merely trivial. We need to focus NOW on what is of eternal worth. He said, “Such moments of clarity come to all of us at one time or another, although not always through dramatic circumstance. We see clearly what it is that really matters in our lives and how we should be living.”

The Savior said “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

In our times of deepest reflection and greatest need, the soul of man reaches heavenward, seeking a divine response to life’s greatest questions: where did we come from? Why are we here? And where do we go when we leave this life?

I testify that the answer to each of these questions centers on the great truth the family is eternal!  We lived in the premortal existence as a family. We live today as a family. And we hope to live forever as a family.

While our individual salvation hinges on individual obedience, it is equally important that we each understand that we are an important and integral part of a family, and that the highest blessings of the gospel are reserved for an eternal family. When families function as designed by God, those relationships are the most important of our mortality. Family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. It is not enough to save ourselves. If we return home alone, our heavenly father will ask: “where is the rest of your family?” I know I want eternal life with ALL of my family. Not just a select few of them! This is why the doctrine of eternal families stresses that families are forever, because the eternal nature of the individual becomes the eternal nature of the family.

The gospel is more than just beautiful doctrine! It is a reality in our lives that if we are obedient, and seek the blessings God offers, we WILL find peace and happiness now and in the eternities.

We should do all that we can to fortify our families against the efforts of Satan. We need to pray together. We need to have family home evening. We need to make the time to TEACH the gospel so that our children understand it…and desire to live its teachings. We need to INSTILL the glad message of the Plan of Salvation upon our children. In times so confusing as these, what else is there that lends peace and happiness greater than this truth: a family is forever! We need to live the gospel, and share what we know to be a treasure of great worth.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Today's answered prayer

Because I'm already raising five kids...and because that comes its own challenges...today I was fasting over a few specifics. I remember a conference talk I'd read that said as a parent I was entitled to revelation...that I could and should expect that revelation. So, nearing the end of my fast I was a little frustrated that I'd not gotten my lightning bolt. And I was talking out loud to Heavenly Father... reminding him of His promise.

The sister missionaries called to remind me I was their dinner date. Yah! My bathrooms are nearly hazardous to your health...my house is NASTY...and I have cried my makeup off and was planning a dinner of leftovers. But as a true demonstration of my stinky temperment...I almost(okay...not almost) challenged my Heavenly Father by snidely thinking in my mind that the sisters would need to be bringing my answers.

Well...I still have no clear cut answer to those issues other than they need more patience, faith, and probably, more fasting. And I'm okay with that. Because what DID happen was that one of the sisters shared a story from her family history of how God had spared her grandmother's family because she trusted in Him...and a promise she'd made with Him. She shared a scripture that teaches that He keeps his promises to those who follow him. And then she asked me if I knew that God answered my prayers.

What do you say to that? Of course I know he answers prayers? He used her lesson..her challenge to me to answer my challenge to Him! And though I still don't know the exact answer I was looking for, I know the important one: He hears me! And He'll keep His promise...

(I did apologize to the sisters for placing the challenge of subduing my onery pride on their shoulders without their even knowing....and thank them for listening to the promptings they obviously had!)

I am eternally grateful for every day experiences that remind me who I am, His child.

What I would have said...

Probably the most terrifying thing about this adoption journey is the cost. I am a person who likes a definitive plan...and so going into something totally blind is killing me. When I feel the panic start to rise in my chest(almost daily) I have to remind myself of the certainty that we felt that this child belongs to us. And that Heavenly Father is going to make this happen. Originally we had written a brief letter...it was how I planned to shock the world with this announcement. So here you are...the big announcement as I thought it'd be:


We believe in fairy tales. And love at first sight. And…. In we believe in answered prayers.
And this is how it all started.
Not too long ago my husband and I considered life to be almost perfect. We are raising 5 very healthy, very lively, sometimes naughty, but always entertaining children. And we’re abundantly rich in the only way that has every really mattered to us. We pay our bills every month, and our savings will get us through a minor disaster. And we are perfectly content with that.  But we realize now that there is a plan at work that we didn’t seek out…one that definitely found us. 
We have spent many teary moments in prayer and have enjoyed many moments of quiet confirmation.  And we believe in a God who answers our prayers. So, we pray He’ll keep on doing so.  Our journey in this process has been filled with anxiety, fear…and excitement and joy!  We KNOW that we’re headed in the right direction, but we have NO idea how to make this work.
Meet “Claire”.

You’re smiling (and probably caught a bit off-guard).

We realize there are some who would criticize our decision; that is okay. Those who would argue if we can’t afford it, we can’t do it. Believe me when I say that we’ve had this discussion. We have literally thought and prayed of little else lately.  Yet reality is that adoption is not financially possible for most people, for us included. It is incredibly frustrating.  In Claire's case, she will need upwards of $35,000 in adoption fees. And that isn’t something we can do. Alone, anyways. 

The organization that lists her profile is working with us to apply for grants, and has explained we can ‘fundraise’. In part, this means we can advocate for our family and friends, and their family and friends, to help us bring her home. We are applying for EVERY grant that can be found.  The faster we do this, the faster she has 3 sisters, 2 brothers, and a mom and dad who can NOT wait to be her eternal family.  So, help us if you can. And then help us again by reposting this and sharing this with everyone you know, encouraging them to help.  The money donated to her link on Reece’s Rainbow goes directly into an account for her adoption costs. It’s a tax deduction for you….and an answer to prayers for us.
We know that God had led us on this journey. It is the most terrifying and exciting thing we’ve ever considered. We trust in Him. But we NEED you to help bring her home.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Well....if you're directed here...

We better make an announcement!!!!!

http://reecesrainbow.org/35748/sponsorpitcher

My heart is all over the place. I am terrified beyond belief and excited beyond belief. Our family is growing...again. But this time from a very unexpected source. We fell in love with this little princess when we saw her. She reminds us so much of our biological daughters. And there's no doubt that having my brother Jerry(with DS) has etched a very special place in our hearts for these special needs kids...But I really don't look at this as we're serving her. We are the lucky ones. We are the ones who are going to get share a place in her heart. A place in the life of one of God's most choicest sprirts...I loved in conference(we have a semi-annual session of our church in which the leaders, our Prophet and his called Apostles address our members and give us counsel) where is mentioned that some of God's choicest spirits are housed in fragile temples. This life is so brief...and the weaknesses and frailties of our bodies and minds won't last forever. We have already given our heart to this little girl. Now to get her home!!!

So...as part of the effort, we can fundraise. We can't tell you how much we'd appreciate your help bringing her home!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Unknown...

Just the quickest of notes to record how much I am thankful for this gospel! I think one of the gifts this life affords is the opportunity to reflect on the experiences we have had...and while I would say that life 'lessons' are usually painful...the experiences are often invaluable. I am finding myself very grateful for perspective. And most grateful for personal revelation. I know that my Father knows me and loves me personally. While the future seems to hold some scary things....not bad...I didn't say bad....I just said scary...I am so thankful for the opportunity to receive answers personalized to me.

Monday, February 13, 2012

It can't hurt, right?

There are two things you need to know about Landri.

1) The child wants to potty train. She cannot stand to be wet or messy. So, if she manages to poop without you knowing immediately, she brings her diaper to you. Or leaves it on the floor...lots of disgusting possibilities here.

2) Whenever someone else is asked to pray now, she squints her eyes, folds her arms and begins to ramble this 'prayer' as if trying to beat them to the punch line.

Today Lu was sitting on my lap and I kept thinking she was stinky. So, I clued in and asked her if she wanted to go potty. So we headed upstairs and I propped the stool in front of the toilet and sat down. She looked at me with her little devilish look...then quickly folded her arms and squinted her arms...and offered one of her prayers. All reverence was lost on me and I busted out laughing. I asked her if she needed help going potty...to which she replied, "yeahhhhhh....shhhhh." I realize that Heavenly Father probably hears some strange prayers...and since Landri doesn't speak very conherently...all hers are funny...but whatever she said, it worked!

I seriously need to get my bum moving and train this child...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Loving the ride

Its amazing to me, and a little sad, that time seems to be inescapabley fast...Its like I've been on one of those whirly-twirly fair rides and the moment I get off I'm almost dizzy to see things kind of spinning past me. That's definitely how I feel lately, as I watch my kids ride their bikes to school...and I watch from the window with my last baby waving furiously to her brothers and sisters, blowing as many kisses their way as possible. Dizzy. Kind of sick to the stomach. How in the world did time manage to escape me?

This year 4 of my children are in school. Which...I'll not lie, is not all sadness. Part of me was skipping with excitement as summer vacation ticked to a close. But, part of me dreaded school on a different level than I have in the past. I LOVE my routine. I love to get up, clean my house and just have time to read books and play with Landri. I love to know when my kids will be home, have some general plan of what activities will claim our evenining...routine! My 3 older children were all excited for school to begin for social aspects. Eli was claiming excitment, but was terrified! He started baby talk, agreed with my stupid joke that he could sign up for preschool again so as to stay my baby one more year...started sucking his fingers when anxious. So, his fear soon became my own. I have been hugely surprised and impressed with his determination to be a good boy at school. 2 weeks in and his behavior chart has been 'green' every day. And...for some reason...its like the tummy-twisting Hammer ride....I'm a mess! Because I wanted him to be nothing but successful there...but my 'baby boy' is gone! Kindergarten is that threshhold for me when they're no longer mine to corrupt...because the bulk of their day is spent under someone elses's influence. And once it starts, time blurs so  fast. Who would have thought my oldest was a 6th grader?

Some days are filled with craziness. No doubt about it. But some days, like today, my sweet Avery handed me a note in church that said, "I have a happy life. I have a loving family. And I know this church is true, and that is amazing!" and I was left wiping the tears of fulfillment, accomplishment and such joy from my cheeks. I am forever so thankful for the experiences of this life. Most importantly, I am most grateful for a perspective that I know only comes through my Savior, of which things are of value. There is a quote I read today that said that 'this is not the plan of pleasure, but the plan of happiness!'...and I just know for a certainty it is. We have to give up things...sometimes popularity, sometimes money, sometimes comfort...to ensure a life of real worth, a life of happiness. I am so grateful to watch my children grow and know that their mistakes forge their strengths...its impressive and overwhelming to see giants emerge from the tiny bodies that I grew...I'm grateful for motherhood.

While I can and forever will wish that time would slow...so that I could keep my children small and mine forever, I am so thankful that this is MY life.