Bo-bee Binners

At what point does my handsome Charlie Chuck Cheese Bo-bo Binners outgrow the cutesie nicknames? Hopefully NEVER. In fact, this kid answers to Bo and Bin almost more than he does his real name...which, is a perfectly nice name....just not what rolls off my tongue!

Kolbe turns 14 in a month. And I can't believe it. This is one good kid. He has a glitch here or there where his patience snaps for 'annoying' brother and sisters...but this boy is such a blessing. I am watching him grow up and I'm experiencing a blender of emotions. Sad...cause, well, that means he'll eventually leave me. I am proud: he is kind, and mature(as far as a 13 year old can be :)  and he is always rolling on the floor letting his little sister climb all over him. He can't quite ever be bothered by Luie...he just chuckles at everything she does and melts when she says, "ohhhhh, I just love you so much Bobee."

As I watch him grow, I'm excited to see how big he'll be. I mean really, the Pitcher blood has sort of inhibited any chance of my children being 'big'....but from day one Bo has been a big kid and he seems to be continuing to grow. He's passed me now and is gaining on Nate. His feet are size 10, which has Nate all kinds of excited. Size is a dream!!! 

I told Nate after watching the last track meet that I was so excited, I could really see myself becoming one of those obnoxious track moms! He is doing so good, and its fun to watch his head LITERALLY grow with every positive accomplishment. Now, I don't want a cocky kid...and be warned, I'll happily humble him should he get there...but some swagger is healthy! There is something so fulfilling about watching your child figure out that he's capable of something....and...something uncomfortable about

watching them shy away from things they aren't excelling at. And...its a bit of both. But hopefully the swag from success carries over and allows him to push through things he isn't top dog at.

He's always been my apprehensive...calm...routiine kid. He's never liked new things...and we have so enjoyed the journey thus far. He is my 'test' kid. I apologize  to him regularily that as my oldest...its a crap shoot: some of my tactics my work...some might not. I expect SO much of him and must remind myself he IS a 13 (almost 14) year old boy...

I hope this kid knows how much I love him. He is such a blessing. I really do know that God has big plans for him. I hope he forgives me for my flaws...and that we can figure this out together. Parenting is really the hardest...most exhausting...confusing task there is. But if they turn out like this kid: its entirely worth it! I am so happy that I 'chose this boy'....there's nothing I would rather be than his mom.

She's my little SunBEAM!

Just a few of my favorite Luie moments lately.....

I said over and over that I deserved a really quiet, calm child after Eli...and while sometimes I'm a bit hacked that I didn't get it...I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Lou. She is a sassy little spice drop! A few of my favorite things lately cente around the fact that she can't say 'f' at all...and  her 's' sound on the first of her word are non-existent. So it cracks me up to hear her say things...
On top of this...she just says funny stuff!
1) In sacrament meeting she was trying to con me into taking her into the hall to get a drink. It wasn't working. So...she scrunched her nose and said, 'but mommy I'm really really drinky'. That one worked.
2) Lu's little body is porportioned a bit like mine. And, while at her age every little  roll and dimple is adorable, and at mine they're not-quite adorable...she's absolutely perfect. Her little pants are always scooting their way down, revealing her little bum. She's coined the phrase, 'oh man! I've got a hang-out butt!" instead of saying her butt's hanging out.
3) Holy cwap!
4) I'm dinking cold mom!
5) She's been trained that her legs are actually her 'sausage legs' and refers to them accordingly.
6) tonight's blessing on the food went like this: 'Hebby Bodder, please bless this dude help it be healthy and dwong" and when we all got the giggles, without even breaking stride she shooshed us and finished her prayer
7)when she was busted for being a naughty monkey she responded, "mom, Jesus ka-why-st, he told me you're dupid!"

There are alot of days that have been hard lately. But I can be sure that Lu will make me smile every single day.

What would I do without my kids? They are all SO stinking different. Different personalities..tempers...likes and dislikes...I've raised 5 little saracastic stinks who can crack a joke at the most inappropriate times! And...I LOVE IT........most of the time.

:)

....one of my favoritie things....

You know that song that Julie Andrews sings in the Sound of Music movie?
"when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel...so bad"

So, as part of my 'pull up your big girl pants' plan for the rest of my life...I committed to a grattitude journal. Here's a clip:

Moving to Fairfield has been an experience, for sure. There are things we teach our children because of the opportunities we have been given. Some good. Some bad. And some funny as hell.

Jerry is perhaps the funniest kid I've ever met. For those not famililar...he's my 39 year old, older brother. He's also down syndrome, though if you tell him that, its your funeral. See, he has 'outgrown' his handicap. The days where we screamed loudly as he rounded the corner for the last leg of the race at the Special Olympics are long gone. His response to my offer to arrange a get together with another darling DS girl: a very frustrated, " I don't date handicap chicks!" He's outgrown it. We aren't sure exactly when this happened, but its defintely the case.

You can tell that he's been raised with the rest of us. He's sarcastic and often gets the last word. A month ago he was getting ready to go to an NFL game with my uncles. My 13 year old son asked him to bring him a souveneir...to which Jer responded, contorting his face, "um, like a breath mint?" Kolbe was thoroughly amused.

When Jer comes to visit, which in the winter is alot...he spends alot of time laying on my couch, in front of the fire, and making up jokes. So, his jokes are rarely funny. But sometimes they're hilarious. Kolbe is getting to an age where he finally has outgrown his need to tease and prank Jer, and rather enjoys just hanging with him. In a recent conversation Kolbe asked him to tell him a joke. He fired back, "Kolbe, YOU are the joke!"

But, perhaps my favorite Jerryism as of late happened this Sunday. After church mom and Jer stopped by quick to pick up a few things. Jer headed downstairs to the all powerful draw of the tv...where Kolbe was likewise being sucked into it. I was cooking dinner...but Kolbe came up stairs a little bit later and was giggling and in a quiet voice he said, "mom, guess what Jerry just said?" Well, the possiblities here are endless.....

He then explained that he called Jerry a name. "Pig"...to which Jerry bantered back, "Idiot" and the game(I know...not entirely kosher) went back and forth for a few rounds. Kolbe walked away sort of stunned...and entirely conceding the match to Jerry with Jerry's last word: "Mental"

I love this kid! He's the funniest, dearest person I know. I love that, given its tax season, and I'm working so much I don't know this...my husband came home from work to find Jer just chilling in our bed, watching tv. At least he was kind enough to ask Nate to join him :)

I simply remember my favorite things...and then I don't(CAN'T POSSIBLY) feel so bad!

See....He IS listening!

Its been a ROUGH few months, for sure. A blessed time as well. I NEVER EVER make it to the other side of a struggle without acknowledging that my hand has been held. I'm not a depressed, mopey kinda girl. I have a day or two here or there...but I love life. I am happy. I am blessed.

There has been something that has sort of nagged at me the last little while. Someone kindly reminded me that we can't control what people have painted in their minds about us....just the same as they can't control what we think of them.  So, I've had many little conversations with myself lately. Because I really do want to be better, every day. And give others the chance to do the same. And I LOVED this quote this morning. And really not for me. This is for those I love.....

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made, or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused." ~ Alan Cohen

And...its nice to know that no matter what is said....there are those who really know us! And love us!

Because, lets be honest...I know I'm not loveable or even likeable ALL the time :)

 

Updates

Are you checking in to see what we know? Because we don't.

Patience. Life is forcing me into a very, very, complicated relationship with this beast. See, I'm happy as I am. But obviously, I'm not quite perfect, and I'm being stretched.

All I can do to stay afloat right now is to avoid the news. No one really knows what the bottom line is and all the ups and downs are too much for my heart to take. So every few days I check in with my friend who's got a much stronger heart than mine....and she gives me a short synapsis of what's the real scoop.

For now...sweet girl is not any closer to coming home. But I am not hopeless. I'm actually closr to the far other end of the spectrum.

So, keep those prayers coming. Pray. Pray that right will win. Pray that hearts are softened, while others are fortified. Pray that God's will is evident and that His hand is obvious. Pray.

Optimistic

With it being 1/1/13 I am feeling optimistic. I always feel a little extra hopeful when the 'end' of something brings about a new beginning.

So, I'll not be wishing for a year better than the last..I remember distinctly considering this exact thing last year. So...I'm committing myself to a grattitude journal. A manual change in my perspective. While things continue to promise uncertainty, I promise faith. I choose discipline, prayer, effort and service.
There is always who's day is harder than mine. Always someone who's blessings are harder to see than mine.

So,  I'm feeling optimistic for 2013. The only thing I have control over is me...and that much, I intend to be better than last year.