I have been really thinking today about some important things. Someone I knew briefly, and admired deeply, was taken from this life. She was very much in my same stage of life...my age, with five kiddos, and a husband. And as I've gathered little bits and pieces of info over the last little while from people who were close, my heart broke to know it was coming. Life seems to be a cruel teacher some times. And it isn't fair. Hard things don't seem to befall those who deserve it. Don't think I'm being vengeful, I'm not. Just contemplative tonight. And thankful.
I had a quick surgery 3 on my toe yesterday. My anxious husband was right by my side. This is a side of Nate I have never seen before:scared, and worried. And I don't love it. But lets face it, this toe thing is lame. It won't affect my life, other than perhaps a few conveniences. But I couldn't bear to watch Nathan inch closer to death. I couldn't bear it. I would rather die myself than have something happen to Nate or my babies.
Another woman I admire battles an illness that though it robs her physical health, makes her spiritual giant seem even greater to me. I love her.
And these things don't make me bitter or cynical. But rather they make me believe more wholly in a God that sees things from start to end...because only He could know that these two women should suffer like this. Only He could ask us to trust that this is his will...
I believe in the Savior Jesus Christ.. In small, ridiculously remote circumstances He weaves blessings into my life. I see some conclusion to some of the things that have stressed me, and its amazing to me how things work out. I couldn't have forced these things. I see his hand.
So please just bring my husband and 3 oldest kids home to me tomorrow. I am looking forward to a family prayer, of gratitude.
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