Listen...

I have to get these words out of my head. Because I've argued with myself so long over them that they are making me crazy. But the truth of it is this:

I should have listened. And acted. 

I firmly believe that if I'd been quicker to do as I was prompted...she'd be here now. She'd have made it out. She'd have a family who would treasure her.

Instead, she's forever stuck in a dumpy, stinky crap hole with no family. She shares clothes, pajamas, tights and everything else with any child that fits them. She gets her head bopped with a brush when she isn't sitting still to get her beautiful(hopefully still long) hair combed. 

And dang it...I can't wrap my head or heart around it.

Will I one day be able to apologize to this sweet child that I failed her? That I put off what I should have done? That its my fault for not listening....

Bleh. Today is one of those days where my heart just hurts...