Randomness...

It occurred to me that each and every time I'm having a "day", it only gets worse. Call is kharma, chemistry or just the way it rolls...about once a month(go figure :) I just wake up and I'm outta sync...grumpy without a cause...fiery just cause I am. And even knowing this, I can't seem to bridle it in. That was my today. I managed to get the kids off to school pretty pleasantly, dropped Eli off at preschool and started for work. And somewhere in my 30 minute commute, about mile 12, I decided that something the night before had really urked me! And...thus proceeded the fall of my day!

I had an okay day at work, given the fact that my sweet cuteness has decided to boycott the workplace whole-heartedly. She is NEVER fussy...until she walks through the doors of my office. And then its miserable! She likes to sit on my lap, which is fine if she sits...but the moment she tries to help, she's banished to the floor! And then...wowza! So today was a particularily enjoyable day. And since I'd already joined the 'raunchy r us' party...I was starting to throw myself a bit of a party...a pity party!

I lasted 5 hours and then had to hit Walmart...at this point I'd already dumped my whole crappiness of a day- events on my BFF who just giggled at my insanity. I HATE Walmart...which in itself did nothing for my state of being. It took me an hour AND cost me double what I thought I'd spend...again...not helping. When I got to the til and waited in the ridiculous line I started to smell the worst smell....only to discover Landri was having some issues.

Ever change a baby diaper in the back trunk of your car? When its cold? When your wet wipes are frozen? And...she has her first bout of diarhea? DELIGHTFUL!!!!

I'm not sure if I can give credit to her tummy issues to the fact that I snuck away for a girls' lunch last week at McDonalds and Landri managed to make an attempt to lick every surface she could find...walls, toys, and even the seats. Yum. Or, it might be the milk that I've introduced to her diet. Either way, she is miserable tonight. Since 2 o'clock the diaper count is 5....That's like 3x the allowable amount. She's incredibly fussy, which isn't her norm, so I know she's not feeling well. I've gathered that from the last two nights of no sleep.

I discovered that Avery had scrawled 'I hate my mom!' on a blow up toy of the minion on "Despicable Me" after supper. Probably after one of hte many times I told her that she forfeited free time(tv time) after school for living like a piggly wiggly.

Both boys earned consequences tonight from dad. Its part of our new system...agree to consequences before hand then die by the sword....(I'm really hoping that within a week the kids realize that the expectation to obey is far easier than being in trouble) Seriously....have to try not to giggle at the drama....

As I was cleaning up supper and thinking about the day...and how bad it sTunK....it occurred to me that whenever I have a 'day' I am destined for a complete disaster. Because I am such a drama queen! Gotta have me a good old fashioned fit! I'd like to say that this revelation will do me some good, but I know realistically that next month, about this time, I'll be feeling pretty much the same.

I hate predictability.

Maybe on your shoulder....

It occurred to me today that since Landri turns one in a week(heartbreaking....) that she could probably have milk. She is still nursing, getting plenty of the 'good' stuff, and I only stock 2% milk....I figured a bottle of it would be fine. She LOVED it! She snuggled in and held it herself....and Eli wanted in on the action. So, he climbed up on my lap and we had like 5 WHOLE MINUTES of peace...the kind of peaceful moment where you think you might  be doing something right....the kind of moment where you relish the fact that you stay home to enjoy this kind of moment! It was awesome!

Then Eli asked, "Mommy, where'd I get the bones in my head?"
Me: From Heavenly Father.
Eli: When?
Me:Well, when you came to earth to get a body...you got bones. And the bones in your head protect your brain.
Eli:(sat there soaking this in for a minute) So, mom...do I have people in my head?
Me: Uh...No!
Eli:Not even the tiny people, you know...in my brain?

Oh my sweet boy. Your trouble is that too often someone is sitting on your shoulder....not in your brain!

As a personal victory kinda sidenote: Eli has been TENDER beyond words lately. He always has been tender...but he's offered more sloppy kisses and huges lately...more unsolicited 'I love you momma's.... I'm wishfully thinking its a change in course instead of the eye of the storm...

Reasons to smile(in FREAKING cold weather).....

As a totally unrelated side note, its -24 degrees right now. Without windchill. I don't know that I even have to offer any comments to this. Because it makes me want to swear. So, for your benefits...I'll keep the dirty words locked in my head...and spare you having to repent for reading this stupid blog!

Eli's new phrase is(brace yourself...its all his own:promise) "I should just slap you in the face." So, I've heard it a bit...talked to him, explained its a rotten thing to say...the works. First of all, if you've read any of my posts you know that telling him something is inappropriate is like a personal invitation to Eli. Pretty much a guarantee he's gonna do it, mulitple times. As a parent I don't entirely like this...it scares, and worries me. This is all sidenote. Back to the story.

Because he's often in some mischief or another, I apparently exasperated by his latest...may have said something like, "I feel like duct taping your hands and feet, and strapping you to a chair for a few hours!"

Now, here is where I am learning the valuable lessons that children are able to patch random conversations, comments into a fascinating story. And its guaranteed that this story is destined to be told to someone NOT in your family.

We have a contractor doing some drywall in our ghetto bathroom. Thank heavens he's a friend! He has a little boy close in age to Eli(we'll call him Y), who has at times, come along to play while his dad works. We've not seen the boy for quite some time, so when the Contractor, we'll call him X, was here this was the coversation:
Eli: Where's Y?
X: With his mom.
Eli: Aren't you married?
X: Nope.
Eli: Why?
X: Just didn't work out buddy.
Eli: You wanna know how to make it work out?
X: is chuckling now....uh huh.
Eli: Well, you just slap her in the face. And then, you duct tape her hands and feet, and strap her to a chair.

Our friend was thrilled to learn the secret to our happy marriage. Duct tape and a little slapping!

Eli goes to speech twice a week at the school. Sometimes he likes to pack a little treat for his teacher. Yesterday my mom was taking him because I was in GF all day working and with Nate at doctor stuff. Mom said he packed two litle baggies of hershey kisses, one larger than the other. He indicated the big one was for his teacher. As they got there, mom watched him switch the bags from his pockets...and asked what he was doing. He batted his big, and might I say beautiful, eyes at mom and said, "well, I fink(think) I don't want her to get diabetes!"

I really do love this little boy. I love all my children. They just go through phases where some are easier to post about. Eli's more eventful....but it doesn't mean I love the others any less....or like them any more! :) I'm grateful to have some reasons to smile in this God-forsaken cold!!!

Do-Over!

Ever have one of those days where you wish there was rewind or do-over button? That's today. We decided last night that we'd pack up our crew of 5 whiny travelers and head to Cut Bank to watch the Fairfield teams compete today. There were many pep talks...bribes and lectures awarded to children who HATE the car. And, gotta be honest, it wasn't my favorite idea of a Saturday afternoon either. But Nate wanted to go...I wanted to be with him...so, the children had no choice! We awoke to yet MORE snow....which is a whole 'nother rant! We'd decided that since my parents and Jerry were going and we couldn't fit everyone in the suburban anyways we'd just take the car and load some of our pleasant travelers in with my parents. Good plan. Right as we are getting ready to leave(I was putting on my mascara...) Kolbe brings a hysterically crying Eli into the house. He'd tried to 'ride' the garage door up....and somehow it grabbed his fingers in the rollers and gave him more of a ride than he'd bargained for. The top of his left ring finger is missing a huge...disgusting flap of skin...and there is a pretty good chunk missing from his pinky too. Mom and dad showed up shortly after..dad came in to hurry us along, not knowing...and mom sat in the car playing with her new phone. At this point I'm crying...holding Eli, who's beyong freaking out...Kolbe's crying, Kenna's crying and Avery's crying. Oh, so's Landri...cause she wants to be held! I shooo the children out of the bathroom and close the door, and Kenna runs out to my mom crying and says, "grandma, we neeeeed you. We're all crying inside. Please, we neeeeeeed you!" So mom comes in frantically to see what the damage is...and add incentives and promises of 'owie presents' to Eli if he'll just hang on! All in all, we managed to load up 30 minutes late...
Only to have the car stall in Choteau. The car has never stalled. But it did today. Over, and over and over again. In fact, it won't idle at all. So, let off the gas and slow down, and it dies. So, after failed attempts to baby it ourselves, and finding no mechanic around, we watched the boys game and headed home.
Just one of those days....the car made it home, only died three times at intersections....so, we've decided to light the fire, stoke it hot. put our jammies on and snuggle up! I guess this is my fault, because I secretly wished for this kind of Saturday anyways.....(minus the fingers and car, of course!)

Eli better be hand doctor someday. He's had a MAJOR burn....cut it with the tape measure, and now this. For some reason his cute little mischief-makers are being protected....(or allowed to create more chaos)....either way, I'm grateful!

When did THAT happen?

I had to renew my driver's license this week, because I'd mistakingly let it expire at my  birthday. A couple of real bonuses...a picture of me, permanently haunting me for the next 8 years. Yes, nothing I love more than a picture of my chubby-nursing self that isn't changeable for 8 years....And then, the woman smiles and says, "So don't forget to renew this on your 41st birthday." WHAT? There is no possible way that I'm approaching 40!

My only consolation in this disaster is that Nate's gonna beat me there! In fact, in two days my handsome husband is 36! Who'da thought? Thank heavens he has more energy than most people twenty years younger...In fact, while he's nearing "middle-age-dom" it cracks me up to hear the young bucks boast his mad skills in basketball still. He is ridiculously fast..and, that isn't something maybe you'd assume looking at him. He IS bald you know, which by very definition must mean old right? HA! I love that he wants to keep up so that he can horse around with Kolbe and Eli in the future. We laugh that the young bucks would be less impressed to watch him walk first thing in the morning after a night of ball....apparently that's when his body gently reminds him he's not 19! Either way I am so grateful we're getting OLD together :)

Kenna has it on her 'checklist' of things to do/accomplish: get married when I'm 19. Very non-chalant. Like, its a normal checklist kinda item. Um...no. I understand now why my parents might have been nervous. That isn't very many years off! Boy did I luck out. Some stupid, inexperienced girl telling her dad 'I'm in love...gonna get married...." after a whopping month of dating. AGH! I lucked out. Pure and simple. Hopefully there are three such young men being prepared for my darling girls...may they get that lucky too.....

Happy Birthday a little early...to my sweet husband!

Move over...NATHAN!

One of the biggest surprises with moving back home has definitely been Jerry! I forgot how much I adore this kid....well, really, growing up he was an onery fart! He has some interesting quirks(don't we all...) but you know how you realize how much you love something/one with a little perspective? and maturity? I've always loved him, as does just about everyone who meet him. He has an inside track to what the purpose of this life is. And don't mistake his handicap for 'handicap' Because he functions better than most 'normal' people I know. I certainly think there's less drama and disaster with his simple life!

Since moving home, Jerry has self-appointed himself as a secondary father to our kids. Nate and I giggle hysterically at this. Its funny! The children-not so much.They recongnize that he's different now...and they've already assumed their intelligence/abilities to be surpassing his. Which on some levels, that might be true. One of the places where Jerry likes to assert his new role is in Sacrament each week. Now, this is already one of the most difficult hours of the week for me. One whole hour of making the kids sit quietly so I, and hopefully those around me could benefit from coming to church. Well, often I fail! We are one noisey row of chaos! So, enter Jerry. He often time slides casually into Nate's spot when Nate gets up for one last check that his Young Men have the sacrament all ready...or to make sure there are enough boys there to handle it. So, when I turn, or Nate returns...there's no room. One time he actually jumped the pew...yes, that was a very reverant scene....So imagine the THRILL of my children when Jerry scowls at them, pokes them and tells them to 'knock it off' or something equally effective. Mmmmhmmmmm. Its usually okay unless he happens to parent Eli. They just square off! Battle of the spirits I tell ya. But, like I have previously mentioned, one of my absolute favorite things about being home is having Jerry. And...seeing the way that Nate has fallen in love with him! He adores this kid...

So, here's the latest of Jerry-tales.
Last night Jerry called me and asked me to go to lunch with him(his treat) at the Senior Citizen's Drop In Center. I'm tickled actually, because Jerry has only taken 3 other people there...Jon, for his birthday last month, and my uncle and aunt for a wedding gift. This is serious stuff. So, because he hangs out alot here when its cold, he was chilling(sleeping, really) all morning. I apparently wasn't paying good attention to Landri and heard Jerry yell...so I come out to find Landri is wedging herself between the railing to slip through. This is on the top landing, where she would fall ten feet to the stair bottom. In reality, it makes my stomach sick to consider what could have happened in ten seconds more....but, Jerry rescued her! In and of itself...very cute! So I thanked him over and over, and made mention that I had better talk to the kids and make sure they understood the new danger, so to watch her carefully. Jerry very seriously said, 'I....think we better have a family home evening tonight.'(for any non-Mormon:this is a designated night where we hang out as a family...playing games...working out problems...teaching valuable principles..and eating treats!) I seriously bit my tongue. "Okay, Jer...I'll talk to them."
Have you seen Jerry's serious face? Its great. So, he says, "NO!.....I better handle it!"
HA!
So, not only is he in charge of Sunday discipline, he's now presiding over family home evening! MOVE OVER NATE! Who needs ya?

(this is the pose he assumes most regularily at my house:usually accompanied by loud snoring...)
Lunch was a success....he served me, introduced me and I had a ball! He politely ditched me there so he could go up town and get his pop and read the paper....I called Nate the minute I could and explained the story. We've vowed to fix the railing somehow tonight, on a serious note. But...we both added it to our favorite Jerry-moments! He's a keeper!!!

So so so sorry Momma!

Ever wonder what would happen if you sucked up live fire embers into a vaccum? Well, thanks to Eli I don't have to wonder! It appears that they come very much alive...the oxygen from sucking them through the tube results in instantaneous combustion. As in, instantaneous fire, shooting holes through the vaccum and spraying fire through the livng room. I instantly grabbed the vaccum and threw it on the porch, allowing me a few seconds to dance out all the embers on my rug. Thankfully I'd purchased a new rug for in front of the fireplace the night before...ridiculouly HUGE rug...that just barely protected our carpet! Eli stood there just repeating himself...'so so so sorry momma!' So, when I noticed the smoke billowing from our front porch i quickly extinquished my vaccum bag, now much on fire on the porch. What I wonder is what the man at the community hall thought as he sat outside and puffed his cigarrette, watching this happen? All in a day at the Pitcher house.

Might I add this occurred on his 5th birthday. And I was in the kitchen frosting his cake...his football cake. While I was extinguishing, he went into the kitchen and climbed up above the fridge to get something out of hte cupboard, that since its so high is intended to store things I don't want children in...and, he lost his balance and stepped right on the cake. Again...with huge chocolate eyes...he says, 'ohhhhhhh. I'm so so so sorry momma." Did I mention how much him calling me mama melts me?

We had a little discussion, and I seriously had to try not to laugh....and I explained that fire is dangerous...apparently he and his dad require demonstrations...and we fixed the cake. He did willingly offer to eat the entire section he stepped on. Very generous.

I had hoped year '5' would signal some changes...less 'events' ...but what was I thinking? Even as I sent him out the door  this morning for preschool, secretly dancing because he'd already pushed my buttons...I watched him out the window trudging through the snow and I just melt. He's wild. He's often naughty. But holy cow does this kid have me whipped. What I wouldn't give to hear him call me momma...or to tell me he needs some 'nuggles'...

So, here's to year '5' with Eli....(and I'm not gonna lie...it scares me a little)