Right of Passage

Don't be confused by this cute face: She.Is.A.Devil.

I don't understand the fascination with the toilet, but all of my children have dabbled, splashed and down-right partied in the toilet. And, with the progression of children, this seems to get nastier. Because I have a few 'un-named' children(it'd be easier to name the ONE that does) who never flush. This disgusts me! I just shudder to consider when kind of disease my kids will get from slurping pee(!!!???!!!).
When Avery was a babe I got her dipping the toilet paper and sucking it dry. And...she's still doing okay. So I suppose that the THREE times today I caught Landri in the toilet, all three times it was yellow, won't hurt her too badly. But I have now promised spanks for anyone who leaves a prize for Landri...harmful or not its still just nasty!
Seriously, what happened to my baby? She is full fledged toddler now. Climbing everything, emptying every cupboard, eating/drinking whatever we do(and apparently some extras!)...she snort giggles to entertain and she sneaks in a little bite when she kisses your cheek. Most of this I love...its just that some of these new things seem to be a right of passage...whether they're disgusting or not!

What's YOUR Perfect???

As noted by my earlier post, today is my grandma's birthday, which, I'm not gonna lie, has been a sad day. I was mulling over ideas for family home evening tonight(supposed to be last night but the NCAA b-ball tourney trumped)and wondering what to do.

The boys' hair is getting ridiculously long, so Nate and I forced them into getting it cut this evening. And while I'm watching the hair pile onto the floor, the PERFECT family home evening lesson hits me. In fact, I couldn't even propose it to Nate without snorting, and full on tears I was laughing so hard. Whether you agree or not, I don't care. This has been a private joke of ours our entire marriage. And let me say I adore this man. This BALD man. Enter t.o.p.i.c.

Easter is coming. In our faith, and I would assume most of Christianity, we celebrate Easter not for sugar and treats left by the Easter Bunny. But we celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. Because of this event every person who ever lived, and ever died, is promised the gift of resurrection when Jesus comes again. Because I'm already a bit blue today because I miss my grandma dearly, this seemed like the perfect fit. Are you wondering where the funny comes in?
There is a verse in the Bible that states that when we are resurrected that our body will be restored, and (paraphrasing) not one hair will be lost from our head...we'll be made perfect. So we discussed this topic with our children. We asked them if everyone will look the same? Will there be fat people? Will everyone be super-model pretty? NO! Because those things aren't important to God...so whatever he deems our perfect state will not be our 'dream body'! (DANGIT)

After the 'lesson' I had the kids come into the kitchen where I slathered Nate's head in elmer's glue...and the kids proceeded to "restore" Nate's head of hair, using the clippings from Kolbe and Eli.

Kenna, Ms. Germphobe...was grossed out. No help.
Avery and Eli dove right in.
Landri ate crackers in her high chair, though occasionally peeked suspciously at us.
Kolbe stared with one eyebrow arched the whole time. And I...I was the photographer.

I don't know if I honestly WANT his head of hair restored. I kinda like him as is. But, kudos to him for being the best sport ever...talk about a visual aid. I'm thinking my kids will never forget the real reason we celebrate Easter. Though....I AM a little scared to have them answer questions in Primary....

April 5th....

Gram,
I'm still a bit ticked off at you. We secretly always planned that I would be back here, and that we'd waste endless days shopping and drinking diet coke(ugh, you'd have diet pepsi)...and even though it doesn't seem like an adult thing to say, I'm still feeling kinda ripped. Do you have any idea how many times I instinctively think "oh I should just call gramma quick." ? I even have called the farm jus to let it ring....don't know what I would do if someone would actually answer it. And here I am with NO ONE to drink diet coke with, or shop with...and it isn't right. Sure, I have picked up the slack on the drinking AND shopping, but it isn't the same. I just miss you desperately. I wear Clinique makeup just because it makes me remember you...I touch the shirt you were wearing the last time I saw you almost every day, as it hangs in my closet. I still remember how you forced $40 bucks in my hand that last morning....telling me to 'stuff it' when I tried to say I was fine. Mom let me look in your purse the other day...I loved it. Its just as you left it....which made me smile. Except it must have been time for a trip to the ATM because you have minimal cash. Which is really unlike you, considering how many hands were constantly outstretched! Maybe you'd just been hit by the grandkids... I miss having someone to back me up no matter what my stance was. You never cared...you just fought with me! Man I miss you.

I know that the only reason that I can even survive you bailing out on me early is because we're gonna make up for it one day. I can't wait to see you again. I like to think that you are near me often...I hope its true. But I KNOW the first part is. Its just another reason I'm excited for Easter.

Comes with a WARNING!!!!!

CAUTION!!!!! This, (i.e. Eli napping) only occurs when preceeded by vomit and/or diarhea.

But, as an optismist, I see some silver lining...at least it 'happens'! Apparently we don't have enough cooties at our house, so its time for another round....

Monkey baby

I think one of the things I will miss the most when Landri grows is her 'ooo ooo' noise and face. Anyone who's been around her knows what I am talking about. So, I caught in her in the act, for memories...

Piggie Points

 This is what I found today: Avery's above, Kenna's below. Think they knew their luck wouldn't hold two days in a row.

So, in an effort to motivate my girls to keep their rooms cleaner I've started "awarding" piggie points. These are NOT redeemable for anything fun: usually the acknowledgement of piggie points comes with an assignment of extra work. And that has worked pretty well....until recently! I don't know what the problem is, but my girls are pigs! Such.....GIRLS! Their floors are littered....and with Kenna, this isn't just a good word. I mean, LITTERED. She dumps out her backpack on the floor. Because she's a smarty pants she usually has some form of sugar contraband, which translates to wrappers. Add that to the excess of pony tails and barrets from her Christmas caboodle....and her recent hobby of drawing...and its disgusting. The boys do get off easy: I know this. Their rooms are 3 levels below me,  sort of 'out of sign of mind'. So, they don't take near the ribbing from me. I'll work on it. But I expect the girls' beds made and rooms tidied every morning before school. As proof my girls are very different, the principle of piggie points wasn't really pulling equal weight with both of them. So, I adjusted my tactics.

Kenna LOVES the idea of having her own room. Avery HATES the idea of having to share, if Kenna has her own. So, last week I told Kenna if she received 3 piggie points in a month, I'd be putting the bunk beds back up and she'd have a roommate again. Might as well confine the hazard to one room don't you think? For Avery, the thought of sharing with Kenna is ticklesome....(is that a word?) Kenna seems bothered to have Avery around sometimes...which Avery thinks is great. She loves to just casually touch her as she walks by...just to watch Ken squirm. So, obviously this piggie point system isn't gonna motivate a change in the right direction for her. So....the only thing a mom can do? Tv. It seems to be the pulse of this little couch potato. If her room is a mess when she leaves for school, no tv. About ten minutes before they leave I ask them how their rooms are. Yesterday I was in for a treat:

Kenna's had her jammies on the floor, and her bed unmade....So, by previous standards, not bad. Avery informed me that she 'just loves little towel chairs." What???? "You know how you can just squish a towel in the corner? It becomes a cute little chair. I love it!" Ding. Ding. Ding. The red flag went off in my head. Okay....see you later then. As I went about my morning I peeked into their rooms. Both obviously failed. This is 3 piggie points for Kenna. And no tv for Avery. Don't know which will prove more tramautizing....

When they got home I said "Kenna, I'm afraid you have earned another piggie point." She looked panic stricken...and bolted upstairs. A minute later she popped her head out with a kind of pleading, please-fall-for-this-face. "Mom, the reason my bed isn't made is because I was giving my American girl a sleepover. Didn't you notice her all tucked in?" Seriously, about died laughing. And...to prove I'm either an inconsistent or well-humored mom(you choose) it worked. I forgave the piggie point and she made her bed.

Avery had the priviledge of showing me her couch chair. I'd already looked, I just thought she should show me. It was about 18 inches high...a little tall for a towel right? Well, apparently 4 pairs of pants, 2 jammies, several underpants and a bathrobe HUGELY add to the optimal comfort of a towel chair. For asthetics though you must cover them entirely so just the towel shows. NO....this isn't what a mom would formally consider 'stuffing'.

Because, as previously stated, I'm either very inconsistent and a pushover...or, I value the creativity of naughty girls...both girls earned piggie points that were negated by some quick thinking! Love 'em!!!

Eli Chronicles...

I should just rename this blog. Because its pretty much just that...the tale of Eli.  Maybe my other kids are boring, you think?They're not....in fact far from it. They all ooze personality. It just seems that Eli is the one that warrants the most attention....attention of all kinds! :)

Tonight my mom was taking Eli on a sleepover to her house. Whenever my dad is gone, which is every other week, my kids fight for who's turn it is at grandmas. And, usually Eli tags along with whoever's turn it is because he's Eli, and my mom can't tell him 'no' when he begs. As it turns out, tonight belonged to Avery and Kenna...but they were deeply involved in a tv show and decided it would be worth forfeiting their sleepover. Hhhheeeeellllllooooo! My mom has the SAME cable as us. But oh well...their loss! And Eli was oh-so thrilled to take their place....all by himself.

My uncles still have some dogs that live at my grandma's farm. She's been dead an awful 6 years now...so the boys and my mother take turns going up there daily and feeding the pack of mangie muts! Yuck.(I've never liked these dogs....)On the way home from the farm mom told Eli maybe they'd go visit my uncle Tom. Eli squished his face up....and looked at mom suspiciously. "Is HE fat?" Mom chuckled, surprised. "No. Why?" Eli then explained that my dad had taken him to visit some 'fat' man with a dog one day when he was watching him. The dog's name is Bozo. Mom asked if Eli liked this man...he said no. Mom was trying to figure out who papa's fat friend is by a little game of 20 questions...so she asked about his wife...Eli told her, "Act-shoo-lee....I think she's dead."

A little while later my mom decides to play a little more with the fat friend tale...and asked Eli why he didn't like this man.
Eli: Because...he's fat!
Mom:(pretending to be wounded)Well....I'm fat.
Eli instantly knew what he'd done and recovered perfectly.
Eli: Ohhhhhhhhh......I LOVE fat girls!

Every day with this boy is a reminder that Heavenly Father has an incredible sense of humor. Its apparent in the things he does...and says...good and bad.

At least his dad is the skinny one. And....at least he loves fat girls....cause this one loves him to pieces!