Thursday, May 28, 2009
Do you ever feel like you've missed the boat
and then you seemingly miss it again? I just feel like I can't seem to get this mommy-hood thing right. I'm too busy. Too crabby. And I find myself feeling guilty every night for moments of impatience and irritability. Why is it that my most important job keeps coming in second to the busy work of life? How does one make time for books and cookies when there is work, laundry, and thousands of things on my TO-DO list? I am feeling like a failure tonight. When I rocked Eli to sleep, and then stared at his sweet face, lips all pooched out, all I can think of is the moments I missed today when I could have stolen endless kisses. And how do you motivate your kids to work when they are best at avoiding it? Because I fail....miserabely. And say things like, 'don't be lazy...do it right!' then worry I've branded them 'lazy'. Okay...so I'm rambling. But tonight I find myself feeling like motherhood is so much harder than anything else. I have got to balance things better so I don't turn around and my house is clean, but my kids are grown, and remembering their crabby crabby mommy! UGh......depressing.
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5 comments:
Don't worry Julie, you are not the only habitual boat misser. Every night I feel the same way. I try to remember the fun things I did with the boys but mostly I remember my moments of being impatient. My only problem is my house still isn't clean at the end of the day! At least you are getting something done :-)
If most mother's were honest with themselves, I believe a lot of us miss the boat sometimes...we are still learning HOW to parent--we never got an instruction manual when we became moms...so we are bound to make mistakes and screw up...so we learn from our mistakes today and try again tomorrow!
For what it matters, I think you are a great mommy!
I think all of us moms feel this way. I know I sure do most of the time. There are always so many things to do and so little time to get it all done. I feel like I miss some of the important moments because I rush and rush to get everything done. Thanks for rambling and don't worry you are a great mom!!!
Julie! you are a great mom and your kids love you immensely. If you were really crabby all the time they wouldn't love you so ademently like they do! I think the greatest fault we mother's have is that we don't give ourselves credit for what we do do! YOu are an incredible person, and just that alone makes your kids incredible. Take the good with the bad and just know that it's part of the big plan. Good wouldn't be good without the frustrating!
Oh it all sounds so familiar. However, I ask myself sometimes. What would my kids do with a perfect mother? They would never learn how to pick themselves up again after they fail or to appolagize or to learn from their mistakes or to use humor to get through the bad times or to lean on the Lord when are best isn't good enough if they hadn't seen their mother do those things every single day. I also find comfort in the fact that the Lord will heal them from my mistakes. Just the fact that you're worrying at the end of every day tells me that you are a fabulous mother! It is nice to talk to other mothers and realize how normal you are.
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